💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 While the noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa
sallam didn't openly declare that Abu Bakr RadhiAllahu 'anhu was his only best
friend, it is clear from the beginning that he was the Prophet Muhammad's
closest companion. Not only were their ages almost similar and they've known
each other for a long time, but they also wanted what is best for each other.
If you've
studied the Prophet's Seerah or read through some glimpses of his blessed life,
you'll realize that the beloved Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam
beautifully treated all his companions well without displaying obvious
favoritism. The wealthier Sahabas RadhiAllahu 'anhum didn't receive
preferential treatment from the Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa
sallam, and those companions who weren't as wealthy as the others were not
excluded from the Prophet's gatherings simply because of their worldly status. It
is as if the Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam was the perfect
friend to every Sahabi who saw him. MashaAllah.
When we
observe the people in our circle of acquaintances, colleagues and potential
friends, we acknowledge the fact that we tend to gravitate towards certain
types of individuals much more than the rest.
💭 The possible reasons why our liking for them is a lot
stronger than the others include:
1. We've been
acquainted for many years now. They know a lot about us just as we are familiar
with their likes, dislikes, experiences in life, background, and overall
personality.
2.
Communicating with them is easy. They're reachable, available and approachable.
We can talk to them freely without worrying about the likelihood of them
offensively criticizing us to pacify their ego.
3. They don't
get jealous of our joys and achievements, just as we are unable to envy their
good traits and accomplishments. Seeing them joyful makes us happy and vice
versa.
4. Since the
friendship is genuine, without either side being deceitful, manipulative or
dishonest, there is no such thing as awkward moment, cringey conduct and toxic
vibe. We're not always the one who's initiating contact. They reach out too and
ask how we're doing on a regular basis. It's a give and take friendship, not a
forced interaction where only one friend acts like the enthusiastic journalist
asking all the questions, the generous humanitarian who is expected to provide
without receiving anything in return, or the overwhelmed caretaker who does all
the babysitting and consoling.
5. We both
strive to help each other be deserving of Allah's Love and entry to Jannatul
Ferdaus. Thus there is a pleasant amount of exchanging Islamic knowledge,
beneficial reminders, helpful advice, correction of errors, providing tips,
invitation to attend Islamic seminars or listen to Islamic lectures,
willingness to patiently hear each other out, protect and courageously defend
when one friend is the subject of some jokesters' gossip.
Way back in
Riyadh I remember having a "bff" who was a year younger than me. We
befriended at Middle East International School and had nearly the same
adventurous temperament, being so-called "Leos", back then.
Alhamdulillah I completely stopped believing in astrological star signs and
horoscopes once I learned that we're not allowed to rely on them as Muslims.
So this
Kashmiri girl and I met just before the year 2000 and broke up some time in
2004 due to an awful mistake I did which resulted from being annoyed by her
clinginess, excessive phone-calls that seemed 'too much' for me, and her
bossily dictating me who I could befriend and who to avoid. What prevented us
from reconciling was her being too prideful to accept my apology. What I did
that hurt her feelings had something to do with cyber bullying.
I realized
that any connection we try to make eventually fails if the bond is not formed
purely for the sake of Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala. This is why we can't really
form "best friends" because of the following:
1🔹 Getting too
attached to someone instead of Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala may ultimately lead
to destruction. If the best friend leaves, moves to a different country or
dies, a person who isn't very strong in faith/Imaan could be prone to
depression.
2🔹 The intimate
friendship between two males or two females can open doors to same-sex
attraction if their affection dangerously goes beyond what is appropriate.
shaytan can
get creative when it comes to misleading people to fall into sin, beware of his
evil plots. Imagine a scenario where two "best friends" are
complaining about their husbands only to realize how much they have in common,
and they end up together in a sinful clandestine affair, with a strange mindset
that "women can love better than guys".
3🔹 Showing
favoritism or giving special attention to just one "best friend", or
two "best friends", can cause the other friends to feel somewhat left
out in the sidelines, neglected or they gradually lose interest in wanting to
stay connected.
I'm not saying
that having a best friend is haraam/forbidden. You're allowed to choose your
favorite kind of people as long as you ensure that this "best friend"
doesn't distract you from loving Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala, and you believe
that with or without a human 'best friend', you can still survive contentedly
with Allah's Love.
Allah's Love
is what keeps our heart whole and peacefully complete, not the endearment of
His servants.
~*~
📖 Jundub RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble
Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "I am free before
Allah of taking any of you as my best friend. Verily, Allah the Almighty has
taken me as His best friend, just as He took Ibrahim ('alaihis salaam) as His
best friend. If I were to take anyone from my nation as a best friend, it would
have been Abu Bakr."
Source: Sahih
Muslim 532
Grade: Sahih
(Authentic) according to Muslim
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble
Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Allah said:
'Whoever shows hostility to a righteous friend of Mine, I have declared war
upon him. My servant does not grow closer to Me with anything more beloved to
Me than the duties which I have imposed upon him. My servant continues to grow
closer to Me with extra good works until I love him. When I love him, I am his
hearing with which he hears, his seeing with which he sees, his hand with which
he strikes, and his foot with which he walks. Were he to ask something from Me,
I would surely give it to him. Were he to ask Me for refuge, I would surely grant
it to him. I do not hesitate to do anything as I hesitate to take the soul of
the believer, for he hates death and I hate to disappoint him.'"
Source: Sahih
Al-Bukhari 6137
Grade: Sahih
(Authentic) according to Al-Bukhari
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble
Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Love whom you love
moderately, perhaps he will become hateful to you someday. Hate whom you hate
moderately, perhaps he will become your beloved friend someday."
Source: Sunan
Al-Tirmidhi 1997
Grade: Sahih
(Authentic) according to Al-Albani