Sunday, June 14, 2020

Note: Tips On How To Detach From A "Crush"

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 Developing feelings for someone isn't always a choice. We don't get to choose who we fall in love with. While our emotions can't be controlled all the time, we have the ability and freewill to select our response to how we feel.
If you're angry at a person, you can either express your anger directly or passive-aggressively, or you can forget what they did, forgive and repress it. If you're sad about something, your sadness could lead to self-destructive actions, or it could inspire you to be patient and resort to saying Dhikr and supplications. When you find some people attractive, intense emotions could lead to intentional staring, checking them out whenever you're in the same room, flirting, stalking their social media accounts which intensifies your attraction and fantasizing about them. However if you have Taqwa (Fear of Allah Only) and your faith/Imaan is strong, you can willfully avoid anything that could lead to fitna even if your heart still desired them. You leave them for Allah's sake because your love for Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala is greater than satisfying your nafs, and you refuse to obey shaytan's whisperings.
The less you look at your crush or the less you see them, the more you'll forget about them and the romantic feelings for them gradually go away. So train yourself to be an expert at lowering your gaze. If some conversations are necessary with somebody whom you secretly admire; such as an ustadh/ustadha, salesperson, teacher, doctor or colleague; do your best to make the dialogue as brief as possible, avoid speaking with a flirtatious tone, and don't look straight into their eyes for prolonged periods. Gazing into each other's eyes with mutual lust or passion is often what makes people fall in love with one another.
Other ways to detach yourself from a potential haraam affair include: Keeping yourself busy with reading from the Noble Qur'an, saying Dhikr and Du'as regularly, reminding yourself of the evil consequences of zina/fornication/adultery, studying more about Islam to strengthen your faith/Imaan, and fasting more Sunnah fasts to discipline your nafs. Also remember that this world and its pleasures are temporary. Don't sacrifice eternal peace in Jannah Paradise for a few minutes of prohibited fun that results in regret from choosing to fail an examination.
📖 “The eye is the mirror of the heart, so if the slave lowers his gaze, the heart will lower its desires and whims, and if he lets his gaze wander, the desire in his heart will be released.”
Imam Ibn Al-Qayyim [May Allah have mercy on him. Ameen.]
[Rawdat Al-Muhibbīn, (p. 109)]