💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 While having the last word and winning a debate can make one feel "in control", and striking an aggravating person with a violent punch makes one feel "powerful", acting upon anger without carefully thinking of the consequences shows lack of self-discipline. If you can't control what goes on inside you, such as your thoughts and fluctuating moods, it won't be easy to ensure that outside circumstances remain under control.
It took me several efforts of apologizing to some individuals whom I've offended in the past, random researches on anger management, and cancelled arguments with my husband, substituting the urge to quarrel with compassionate willingness to be patient, to realize that a bad temper isn't worth getting into trouble or losing the people whom I care about.
I am Inn-sha-Allah learning to implement the following principles concerning anger issues:
1] Instead of rushing to react angrily to someone's misconduct, pause and distance yourself from the object or subject trying to trigger a negative reaction. Imagine looking at yourself from another individual's point of view. Better yet, visualize if the noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam was right in front of you observing, would you still demonstrate your feelings of fury be put into action or would you alter the move you're about to make, and carefully construct your statements?
2] Say "A'oodhu Billaahi min ash-shaytan ar-rajeem", do the opposite of what shaytan wants you to do, and avoid the places where angry emotions are likely to develop.
3] Ignoring toxic people and showing no interest in engaging with troublemakers are safer options for your heart, mind and soul than to insist on arguing with them, proving you're the one who's correct, and doing whatever you can to emphasize your ego is larger than theirs.
Choosing your battles wisely and training yourself to not lose your cool can prevent you from losing your job, unnecessary misunderstandings, long-term grudges, divorce, and broken friendships. It is better to struggle in maintaining patience for a brief moment than to be regretful for a lifetime due to missing out on an opportunity or behaving improperly because of impatience.
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The strong are not those who are good at wrestling. Verily, the truly strong one is the one who controls himself during anger."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5763, Sahih Muslim 2609
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: A man came to the Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam and he said, “Advise me.” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “Do not be angry.” The man repeated his request and the Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “Do not be angry.”
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5765
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Bukhari
📖 Abu Dharr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said to us, "If one of you is angry while he is standing, let him sit down so his anger will leave him; otherwise, let him lay down."
Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4782
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani
💌 While having the last word and winning a debate can make one feel "in control", and striking an aggravating person with a violent punch makes one feel "powerful", acting upon anger without carefully thinking of the consequences shows lack of self-discipline. If you can't control what goes on inside you, such as your thoughts and fluctuating moods, it won't be easy to ensure that outside circumstances remain under control.
It took me several efforts of apologizing to some individuals whom I've offended in the past, random researches on anger management, and cancelled arguments with my husband, substituting the urge to quarrel with compassionate willingness to be patient, to realize that a bad temper isn't worth getting into trouble or losing the people whom I care about.
I am Inn-sha-Allah learning to implement the following principles concerning anger issues:
1] Instead of rushing to react angrily to someone's misconduct, pause and distance yourself from the object or subject trying to trigger a negative reaction. Imagine looking at yourself from another individual's point of view. Better yet, visualize if the noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam was right in front of you observing, would you still demonstrate your feelings of fury be put into action or would you alter the move you're about to make, and carefully construct your statements?
2] Say "A'oodhu Billaahi min ash-shaytan ar-rajeem", do the opposite of what shaytan wants you to do, and avoid the places where angry emotions are likely to develop.
3] Ignoring toxic people and showing no interest in engaging with troublemakers are safer options for your heart, mind and soul than to insist on arguing with them, proving you're the one who's correct, and doing whatever you can to emphasize your ego is larger than theirs.
Choosing your battles wisely and training yourself to not lose your cool can prevent you from losing your job, unnecessary misunderstandings, long-term grudges, divorce, and broken friendships. It is better to struggle in maintaining patience for a brief moment than to be regretful for a lifetime due to missing out on an opportunity or behaving improperly because of impatience.
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The strong are not those who are good at wrestling. Verily, the truly strong one is the one who controls himself during anger."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5763, Sahih Muslim 2609
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: A man came to the Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam and he said, “Advise me.” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “Do not be angry.” The man repeated his request and the Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “Do not be angry.”
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5765
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Bukhari
📖 Abu Dharr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said to us, "If one of you is angry while he is standing, let him sit down so his anger will leave him; otherwise, let him lay down."
Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4782
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani