Thursday, June 18, 2020

Note: When To Let Go Of Certain Friendships

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 Simply knowing a lot about someone, like a fan tries to gather as much info as they can about their favorite celebrity, doesn't make you that person's close friend. Being aware of their existence for a long time, as a neighbor who knows about the other neighbors yet doesn't bother interacting with them,  also doesn't render one worthy of being called an actual 'friend'.
A friend is somebody who doesn't necessarily share the exact same interests as you but who genuinely cares about you just as you are honestly concerned about their well-being. They're that person whom you usually contact when something awful or amazing happens because you trust them, welcome their advice and feel safe around them, knowing they've already known you for many years and won't judge you for how Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala created you. Their presence brings you peace just as you can sense they're truthfully happy to communicate with you.
As time goes by, some friendships are bound to break or deteriorate, either due to neglect from one or both sides, one had to relocate, or both went separate ways in their lives and found another friend who eventually replaced them. Dealing with potential friends who turn into complete strangers again is one of the tests that Allah the Most Wise sends to examine our faith/Imaan and patience. When someone whom we used to chat with and confide in regularly becomes another stranger whom we apathetically pass by in the streets, do we continue moving on as we let them go, or do we try our best to recover the special bond we had because without them we're incomplete?
As Muslims Alhamdulillah we shouldn't get too attached to Allah's servants, since human beings, like dunya and its trials, are imperfect and temporary.
🔸 When is it okay to quit trying to be somebody's intimate friend instead of being mere acquaintances:
1] When there seems to be no smooth connection between you two and the conversations are mostly forced or awkward.
2] When you're almost always the first to reach out to them, check how they're doing, and show support, while they rarely return your favors. The feelings and respect are not mutual.
3] For a number of years you have awareness that they exist but still find no legitimate reason to put effort in cultivating your familiarity with them. Basically you consider them as incompatible, unrelatable, or not interesting enough to grab your attention.
4] Somehow they distract you from your journey to becoming a better Muslim. They're a bad influence who want you to be preoccupied with dunya matters, who dislike attending Islamic lectures, or who habitually gossip and backbite about others.
5] If they associate with you mainly to take advantage of your kindness, generosity and link to other supposedly prominent or successful individuals for their selfish interests. Rather than loving you for Allah's sake, they only stay in touch for the numerous advantages that you bring to their table.
Patiently disconnect from toxic and negative people who don't reciprocate your loyalty. The empty spots they leave behind can Inn-sha-Allah be reclaimed by other friends who are more similar to you, more helpful for your soul, and more trustworthy.
Release yourself from ineffectively wanting to get to know them better yet maintain basic courtesy, and don't let your indifference towards them negatively impact your good character.
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Love whom you love moderately, perhaps he will become hateful to you someday. Hate whom you hate moderately, perhaps he will become your beloved friend someday." Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhī 1997 Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "A man set out to visit his brother from another town, so Allah sent an angel to watch over his steps. When the angel came to him, he said: 'Where are you going?' The man said: 'I am visiting a brother of mine in this town.' The angel said: 'Do you have a favor over him to be repaid?' He said: 'No, only that I love him for the sake of Allah the Almighty.' The angel said: 'I am a messenger from Allah to tell you that Allah loves you as you love him.'" Source: Sahih Muslim 2567, Grade: Sahih
📖 Aslam Al-Habashi reported: Umar ibn Al-Khattab RadhiAllahu 'anhu said, "Let not your love be infatuation and let not your hatred be destruction." It was said, “How is this?” Umar RadhiAllahu 'anhu said, “When you love someone, you become infatuated like a child. When you hate someone, you love destruction for your companion.” Source: Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 1322 Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani