💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 While being forgiving is an admirable quality, the ability to forgive others shouldn't be an excuse for them to disrespect you repeatedly. You have every right to choose your own squad of trusted companions who inspire you to become a better version of yourself. Although many long-lasting friendships are formed when friends keep overlooking each other's mistakes, some connections are too toxic to remain. So it is safer to disconnect and let go of individuals who do more harm than good.
🔹 Five signs that indicate a person doesn't deserve our friendship, and they're better off as casual acquaintances or back to being complete strangers:
1] They have deliberately offended us numerous times or they stubbornly do something which we dislike, such as gossiping and name-calling, particularly with obvious lies. Example: They give an offensive nickname that doesn't improve anything. "Here comes the lesbian", "hey fatty", and "miss bossy-pants incoming" are unpleasant remarks which no decent human enjoys hearing. Do yourself an immense favor and gladly avoid their bad energy.
2] We don't know them enough, so we have no idea who we're dealing with. It is unfair that they know a lot about us, yet they don't provide sufficient details about themselves. "It's none of your business", "I can't talk about it", "Don't bother", "Leave me alone", and "Secret!" are phrases we won't receive from a genuine friend. True friends should be able to converse with one another comfortably, without being distrustful and untrustworthy.
3] Spending time with them is a distraction from Allah the Almighty and the companionship doesn't strengthen our faith/Imaan. If someone can't motivate us to increase in Taqwa and they show no interest in joining us to learn about Islam, their disappearance from our circle is actually a blessing. Distancing ourselves from the wrong kind of friends is effective training for us to: Avoid major sins, ignore what is not relevant to our goals, and be patiently contented with what Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala has destined.
4] There is no mutual respect or one of us is jealous of the other. If somebody's presence reminds us of what we lack or we can sense that they're purposely trying to make us envious of their life, basically befriending them causes us to be as insecure as they are, then avoidance is more advantageous than struggling to like what we don't find agreeable.
5] The so-called bond doesn't lead anywhere. If they're not concerned about you and similarly you don't view them as interesting or relatable, there's no reason to salvage a "friendship" that is not beneficial or helpful for you in both worlds.
🔹 Friends who are worth keeping for Allah's sake display the following qualities:
1] Their good character is consistent, never fake nor unpredictable. They ensure they answer your salaams and fulfill your rights as a Muslim, regardless of their moods.
2] They're careful not to hurt your feelings. If ever they did something wrong, they quickly apologize or compensate.
3] They don't envy you at all. Whatever makes you happy, so long as it's lawful/halal, also brings them joy.
4] They strive to have patience with you - patient in inviting you to attend Islamic lectures, patient with your late responses to their text messages, and patiently choosing to understand when you sometimes disappoint them.
5] They remind you to fear Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala, correct your wrongs, and encourage you to do more righteous deeds (including praying Tahajjud regularly and fasting Sunnah fasts) so you join those who are worthy of Jannatul Ferdaus.
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📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam sallam said, "A man is upon the religion of his close friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2378
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Nawawi
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu ‘anhu narrated: Allah’s noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The believer is not stung twice from the same hole."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5782
Sahih Muslim 2998
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The souls are conscripted soldiers. They come together upon what they recognize, and they differ upon what they reject."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 3109
Sahih Muslim 2638
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