Friday, December 18, 2020

Tips: How A Pious Wife Reacts When Her Husband Wishes To Remarry

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 If your husband works in the medical field, say as a doctor or dentist, undoubtedly he'll be surrounded by female patients and colleagues once in a while. Similarly, an eloquent speaker who is active in the field of Da'wah would unintentionally attract the attention of women who admire his proficiency, determination in sharing his Islamic knowledge, or even his handsomeness.

It is also possible for some females to express their interest in marrying a married man, not necessarily to be known as "the other woman" or "notorious homewrecker", but they genuinely believe he's "the most idealistic one" for them. His visibly noteworthy qualities such as his charisma in teaching others about Islam, admirable productivity in publishing Islamic writings, and his compassion for his family could be from the many reasons why they found him attractive.

As for the woman who tries to approach a guy whom she knows is happily married, instead of automatically considering her as a threat or troublemaker, we can assume that she probably wasn't strong enough to control her feelings of attraction.

Rather than instantly accusing her husband of infidelity and the other woman of unjustly interfering in an already stable marriage, a righteous Muslim wife would see this as a beautiful opportunity to level up her connection with Allah the Almighty. Since she cares enough about her husband to not want him involved in a haraam relationship, she encourages him to make that affair halal through a second marriage if he is unable to stop all forms of contact with her.

Accepting Allah's Qadr/Decree in permitting Muslim men to be married to up to four wives doesn't reduce the love which a loyal, grateful, devoted, strong and patient wife has for her husband.

🌻 The following are a few tips for the wife who discovers that her husband wishes to remarry or he recently reconnected with a former "girlfriend" from his high school or college days:

1] Advise him on Taqwa, his obligations to Allah the Most Wise, his responsibilities to his family, the importance of lowering one's gaze, and the need to abstain from unnecessarily mingling with non-mahram females.

2] Don't impulsively threaten him with divorce if he doesn't leave the other woman. Ask him questions that could bring him back to his senses like "Are you truly in love with this lady? Or are you only playing with her heart, as though it's a toy that you entertain yourself with anytime you like? If you adore her that much, would you be willing to take her as your second wife and promise to treat us as fairly as you can for Allah's sake? Or should you get another job and we move to a different city so our marriage life isn't ruined by a temporary distraction?"

3] Remind your husband that you still love him for Allah's sake, and since your love for Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala is a lot greater than your affection towards your spouse, you're totally fine if he is wed to multiple wives. Just noticing how you won't easily give up on him can make him feel undeniably guilty on the inside, and he may either forget about the other woman, so you're his only legal wife, or he remarries, tries his utmost to take good care of his womenfolk for Allah's sake, and persistently shows gratitude to Allah the Most Merciful for being blessed with you as his first wife.

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📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If a woman prays her five prayers, fasts her month of Ramadan, guards her chastity, and obeys her husband, she will enter Paradise from any gate she wishes."

Source: Sahih Ibn Ḥibbān 4252

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If I were to order anyone to prostrate to another, I would have ordered a wife to prostrate before her husband."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1159

Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to At-Tirmidhi

Ali Al-Qari said, "That she prostrates to her husband is due to the number of his rights over her and her difficulty in maintaining gratitude for them. This rhetorical point conveys the obligation of the wife to obey her husband in his rights. Indeed, prostration is not lawful to anyone other than Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala."

Source: Mirqāt Al-Mafātīḥ 5/2125

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "If a man has two wives and he is not just between them, he will come on the Day of Resurrection with one of his sides collapsed."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1141

Grade: Sahih

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "The most complete of believers in faith are those with the best character, and the best of you are the best in behavior to their women."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1162

Grade: Sahih

📖 Abdullah ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The world is enjoyment and the best enjoyment in the world is a righteous wife."

Source: Sahih Muslim 1467

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim