Tuesday, December 29, 2020

Tips: When Is "Ghosting" And Avoiding Someone For Allah's Sake Justifiable?

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 I completely lost my interest in wanting to befriend an ethically impoverished woman when I distinctly overheard her tell a friend of hers "here comes the lesbian (tomboy)" in her dialect and when I could sense that one of her cowardly passive-aggressive posts was meant to diss "judgmental" religious niqabis. Although an acquaintance and I occasionally greet each other with the salaam, deep inside I don't regard her as a "friend" anymore because her mistake of deliberately lying against me at one point was an instant turn-off. Recently I've unfriended another individual on Facebook after I mistakenly attempted to discuss with her concerning a personal matter only for the multiple messages to be left on seen mode despite several days going by while she continued updating her timeline.

Regardless of how old you are, inevitably you'll encounter individuals who mistreat you through gossiping about you, spreading false rumors to tarnish your name, and acting indifferent or unsupportive when you assumed they could be reliable companions. 

When certain connections seem to be disintegrating gradually, it's up to you to salvage the friendship, if the merits of saving it outweigh the disadvantages of reconciling, or gladly walk away, emotionally detach and consider them as mere strangers again though you've forgiven them.

🌻 When is "ghosting" someone or distancing yourself from them justifiable:

1] When they pridefully keep doing something that clearly annoys, offends or disturbs you.

2] When they refuse to apologize for an offense that they knowingly carried out.

3] When their presence in your life weakens your faith/Imaan and they fail to inspire you to become a better Muslim.

While it is a commendable quality to be forgiving and tolerant, you deserve to protect yourself from people who are toxic, narcissistic, abusive, manipulative and secretly envious of the blessings that Allah the Almighty granted you. You're better off without them. 

There are more than a million human beings on earth who can substitute their position when Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala Wills, if the rewards of patience and freedom from their negative influence aren't sufficient replacements.

~•~

Note: Reminder to join those who regularly fast Sunnah fasts on Mondays and Thursdays if you can.

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A man is upon the religion of his close friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2378

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Nawawi

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The believer is not stung twice from the same hole."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5782

Sahih Muslim 2998

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

📖 Abdullah ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: They mentioned a man in front of the Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam and they said, "He only eats if he is fed! He only moves if he is made to move!" The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “You have backbitten him.” They said, “We only said what is true about him.” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "It is enough sin to mention bad things about your brother."

In another narration, the Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If what you said about him were not true, you would have slandered him."

Source: Musnad ‘Abd Allāh ibn Al-Mubārak 2

Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Al-Mundhiri