💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 To have desires is part of being human. To suppress or defeat evil desires shows you're a striving Muslim. While being hesitant to fall in love is a blessing in disguise for many, several individuals tend to catch feelings easily. Once someone has captivated them or emotionally entered their hearts, it can be difficult to stop thinking about that crush even if they're already married, after several years went by, or they moved to another city.
🔸 Signs you are attracted to someone, despite internally or outwardly denying it:
1] You like them a lot not in a platonic way but sensually. So if you were granted permission to be passionate with them, you'd do so.
2] They preoccupy your mind, imagination and fantasies so much so that merely thinking of them distracts you from properly carrying out daily tasks.
3] You marvel at how a quality or characteristic of theirs amazes you, how they somehow make you feel special, or you're intrigued by how you both are very similar in many ways.
4] You're nervous when they're around, overly concerned that they don't get turned off by you, or you find their presence somewhat overwhelming. Understand they're also humans with myriad imperfections, hence you must quit overestimating and obsessing over them.
5] You sometimes pray to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala that He removes your feelings of attraction.
🔸 Tips on how to get over those who aren't halal/lawful for you:
1] Try the "out of sight, out of mind" tactic, so they can be forgotten. Avoid or minimize going to the places where you know they frequently go to. Unfriend or unfollow them on social media if doing so brings you closer to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala, even if this choice may upset them.
Both of you can Inn-sha-Allah be rewarded for striving to implement patience.
2] Lower your gaze when they're around and when quickly noticing photos of themselves online. Don't keep staring at their faces, bodies and pictures no matter how much you want to.
3] Recall their negative qualities that may turn you off so you no longer find them attractive, or recount all the reasons why it's impossible for you to be romantically together.
4] People who wish to lose weight avoid excessive food even if they normally enjoy overeating whenever they like, yet they have the stamina to stay away from eating excessively in order to achieve their goal to become physically fit. If they can do that, just as you're able to resist eating and drinking while fasting, you too have the ability to detach from the urge to commit zina - a major sin.
5] Constantly remind yourself of the consequences of acting upon sinful thoughts and inappropriate feelings. Imagine actually having done what you desire to do with the person you're crushing on behind closed doors and then instantly regretting your wrong decision in this world or the next.
6] Acknowledge the fact that daydreaming or fantasizing about being in an affair with your crush is irrational. If it's something that can never happen in real life, must never take place, or it is one of shaytan's tricks which eventually directs you to massive remorse, don't bother entertaining those nonsensical illusions.
7] Get married sincerely for Allah's sake to preserve your modesty and focus on loving the soul whom Allah the Most Wise selects as your spouse.
8] If you still can't forget those whom your heart regards as "irresistible" or "unavoidable", admit you really adore them while knowing what your boundaries and restrictions are. The similitude of avoiding what you desire is that of a diabetic who intentionally refrains from excess sugar and carbohydrates which they'd freely enjoy if they weren't struggling with diabetes. Although they relish sugary foods and carbs, they distance themselves from what can cause their health condition to decline.
💌 To have desires is part of being human. To suppress or defeat evil desires shows you're a striving Muslim. While being hesitant to fall in love is a blessing in disguise for many, several individuals tend to catch feelings easily. Once someone has captivated them or emotionally entered their hearts, it can be difficult to stop thinking about that crush even if they're already married, after several years went by, or they moved to another city.
🔸 Signs you are attracted to someone, despite internally or outwardly denying it:
1] You like them a lot not in a platonic way but sensually. So if you were granted permission to be passionate with them, you'd do so.
2] They preoccupy your mind, imagination and fantasies so much so that merely thinking of them distracts you from properly carrying out daily tasks.
3] You marvel at how a quality or characteristic of theirs amazes you, how they somehow make you feel special, or you're intrigued by how you both are very similar in many ways.
4] You're nervous when they're around, overly concerned that they don't get turned off by you, or you find their presence somewhat overwhelming. Understand they're also humans with myriad imperfections, hence you must quit overestimating and obsessing over them.
5] You sometimes pray to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala that He removes your feelings of attraction.
🔸 Tips on how to get over those who aren't halal/lawful for you:
1] Try the "out of sight, out of mind" tactic, so they can be forgotten. Avoid or minimize going to the places where you know they frequently go to. Unfriend or unfollow them on social media if doing so brings you closer to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala, even if this choice may upset them.
Both of you can Inn-sha-Allah be rewarded for striving to implement patience.
2] Lower your gaze when they're around and when quickly noticing photos of themselves online. Don't keep staring at their faces, bodies and pictures no matter how much you want to.
3] Recall their negative qualities that may turn you off so you no longer find them attractive, or recount all the reasons why it's impossible for you to be romantically together.
4] People who wish to lose weight avoid excessive food even if they normally enjoy overeating whenever they like, yet they have the stamina to stay away from eating excessively in order to achieve their goal to become physically fit. If they can do that, just as you're able to resist eating and drinking while fasting, you too have the ability to detach from the urge to commit zina - a major sin.
5] Constantly remind yourself of the consequences of acting upon sinful thoughts and inappropriate feelings. Imagine actually having done what you desire to do with the person you're crushing on behind closed doors and then instantly regretting your wrong decision in this world or the next.
6] Acknowledge the fact that daydreaming or fantasizing about being in an affair with your crush is irrational. If it's something that can never happen in real life, must never take place, or it is one of shaytan's tricks which eventually directs you to massive remorse, don't bother entertaining those nonsensical illusions.
7] Get married sincerely for Allah's sake to preserve your modesty and focus on loving the soul whom Allah the Most Wise selects as your spouse.
8] If you still can't forget those whom your heart regards as "irresistible" or "unavoidable", admit you really adore them while knowing what your boundaries and restrictions are. The similitude of avoiding what you desire is that of a diabetic who intentionally refrains from excess sugar and carbohydrates which they'd freely enjoy if they weren't struggling with diabetes. Although they relish sugary foods and carbs, they distance themselves from what can cause their health condition to decline.
Respect yourself enough to leave what Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala has prohibited.
9] Do what you can to be prepared for death and look forward to being granted entry Inn-sha-Allah to Jannah Paradise, where all wishes and desires can be fulfilled.
10] Make sincere effort to fast Sunnah fasts regularly like on Yawm 'Arafah and every other Monday and Thursday. Fasting is another way to effectively discipline your soul, training your nafs to gain inner strength in avoiding what should be avoided.
11] Realize that if you genuinely love that particular soul whom you admire, wouldn't you want what is best for them? Getting into zina will only result in you two being exposed to humiliation in both worlds, so why jeopardize your faith/Imaan and dignity by pursuing what is clearly haraam/forbidden.
Staying patient for Allah's sake as you ignore those whom your heart desires or struggling with feeling heartbroken in dunya is better than fulfilling animalistic urges then eternally regretting.
📖 Abdullah Ibn Mas’ud RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "O young men, if you are able to support a wife, get married. Verily, it lowers the gaze and guards chastity. Whoever is not able to do so, he must fast as it will restrain his passions."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 1806,
Sahih Muslim 1400
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim
📖 Sahl Ibn Sa’d RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever guarantees for me what is between his jaws and his legs, I can guarantee for him Paradise."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 6109
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Bukhari
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, Allah has pardoned my nation for what occurs within themselves (evil thoughts or feelings), as long as they do not speak of it or act upon it."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 6287
Sahih Muslim 127
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim
Ibn Al-Qayyim said, “Know that passing thoughts are not harmful. Indeed, they are only harmful if they are sought after and engaged. For a thought is like a passerby on the road; if you ignore him, he will depart from you.”
Source: Al-Jawāb Al-Kāfī 1/157
9] Do what you can to be prepared for death and look forward to being granted entry Inn-sha-Allah to Jannah Paradise, where all wishes and desires can be fulfilled.
10] Make sincere effort to fast Sunnah fasts regularly like on Yawm 'Arafah and every other Monday and Thursday. Fasting is another way to effectively discipline your soul, training your nafs to gain inner strength in avoiding what should be avoided.
11] Realize that if you genuinely love that particular soul whom you admire, wouldn't you want what is best for them? Getting into zina will only result in you two being exposed to humiliation in both worlds, so why jeopardize your faith/Imaan and dignity by pursuing what is clearly haraam/forbidden.
Staying patient for Allah's sake as you ignore those whom your heart desires or struggling with feeling heartbroken in dunya is better than fulfilling animalistic urges then eternally regretting.
📖 Abdullah Ibn Mas’ud RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "O young men, if you are able to support a wife, get married. Verily, it lowers the gaze and guards chastity. Whoever is not able to do so, he must fast as it will restrain his passions."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 1806,
Sahih Muslim 1400
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim
📖 Sahl Ibn Sa’d RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever guarantees for me what is between his jaws and his legs, I can guarantee for him Paradise."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 6109
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Bukhari
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, Allah has pardoned my nation for what occurs within themselves (evil thoughts or feelings), as long as they do not speak of it or act upon it."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 6287
Sahih Muslim 127
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim
Ibn Al-Qayyim said, “Know that passing thoughts are not harmful. Indeed, they are only harmful if they are sought after and engaged. For a thought is like a passerby on the road; if you ignore him, he will depart from you.”
Source: Al-Jawāb Al-Kāfī 1/157