Friday, September 4, 2020

Tips: How Mature Adults And Muslims Should Deal With Grudges

 💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 Five ways unconfident people deal with those whom they dislike:

1] They obsessively stalk their social media accounts with jealous resentment while not having any form of connection with the individuals they hate. They desperately aim to count their flaws, fabricate a list of their errors, or laugh at their mistakes.

2] They give the people whom they resent offensive nicknames or titles that don't really suit them. For instance if somebody they loathe walks by, they're likely to tell their friends 'the "monster" has arrived' or 'warning: miss tornado approaching.' often in a language which the subject doesn't understand. They seem to be obnoxious pros at being cowardly passive-aggressive, which reflects their depressing upbringing or low self-confidence.

3] They deliberately ignore the salaams, greetings, genuine efforts to be more acquainted, and invitations of the people they can't stand. They either treat the person whom they despise rudely and disrespectfully, or they regard them as non-existent. 

4] They immaturely gossip about those who clash with them or who threaten their self-esteem. Scornfully mimicking, making deplorable jokes or spreading malicious rumors about those whom they're undeniably envious of are some things they do to remedy their wounded ego or gigantic load of insecurities.

5] A lot of the status updates they post on their timelines are indirect insults and false accusations meant for those people who trigger negative feelings of envy or suspicion. If someone seems to be bothering you online or offline, it is a logical move to either confront them directly, in a one-on-one manner, or confidently walk away from their negative influence.

🔹 How should educated, mature and responsible adults deal with petty grudges:

1] Avoid surrounding yourself with those whom you believe are incompatible, troublesome or annoying. If you don't enjoy watching a YouTuber's channel, stop viewing their content instead of trolling around with spiteful comments. If some Facebook users upload stuff which bother you, simply unfollow, unfriend and quit acting like a virtual paparazzi on their timeline. You're accountable for the kind of info you decide to read and digest, not for what users choose to post.

2] No matter how different, indifferent or insulting some people have been, you are not entitled at all to invent hurtful nicknames for them. If you wouldn't be okay with strangers and haters addressing you with an inappropriate title, why do it to others. You may end up with an unpleasant outcome if the person you've offended happens to be someone whom Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala loves.

3] As Muslims Alhamdulillah we must value the rights of other Muslims, one of which is responding to their salaams and invitations. If we were unable to accept an invitation for whatever reason or we didn't answer a Muslim's salaam because we were rushing, we should at least apologize for our shortcomings, ensure we avoid repeating the same offense, or carry out a generous deed in the future to compensate for our mistreatment.

4] Even if some resentful individuals or critics gossiped about us in the past, we mustn't stoop down to their level, dissing them back from behind like insecure cowards. A person backbiting about us, thereby loading their account of deeds with our sins each time they backbite, isn't a request for us to emulate their ignorant behavior.

5] When we love some people wholeheartedly for Allah's sake, we tend to mention their names regularly in our Du'as, and hearing their names pronounced from us or others brings a sense of comfort. In contrast, if there are a number of souls who aren't in good terms with us, it is more rational to intentionally refrain from uttering their names, because we don't wish to associate with them, than accumulate their wrongdoings through sinfully gossiping.

A person's misconduct should inspire us to be patient for Allah's sake and motivate us to persistently maintain good character as much as possible, not diminish our values and morals.

📖 Anas ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said to me, “Young man, if you are able every morning and evening to remove any malice in your heart towards anyone, do so.” Then, the Prophet SallAllahu' alaihi wa sallam said to me, “Young man, that is my Sunnah. Whoever revives my Sunnah has loved me, and whoever loves me will be with me in Paradise.”

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2678

Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to At-Tirmidhi

📖 Abdullah ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: I said, “O Messenger of Allah, who are the best people?” The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “One with a heart swept clean and truthful in speech.” We said, “O Messenger of Allah, we know truthful in speech. What is a heart swept clean?” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “One that is mindful of Allah and pure, in which there is no sin, nor aggression, nor envy.” We said, “Who shows a sign of it?” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “One who hates worldliness and loves the Hereafter.” They said, “And who shows a sign of it?” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “A believer with good character.”

Source: Shu’ab Al-Imān 4457

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

📖 Mu’adh ibn Anas RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “The best of faith is to love for the sake of Allah, to hate for the sake of Allah, and to keep your tongue busy in the remembrance of Allah.” Mu’adh said, “And what else, O Messenger of Allah?” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “And that you love for the people what you love for yourself, and you hate for them what you hate for yourself, and you speak goodness or remain silent.”

Source: Musnad Ahmed 21627

Grade: Sahih li ghayri (Authentic due to external evidence) according to Al-Arna’ut