💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 If one day you and a group of friends are chatting then suddenly someone jokes about a mutual friend who isn't around to defend themselves, and their description of the subject is actually true, what would your immediate reaction be? Supposing somebody says "So-and-so reeks, they should have a warning sign that states "toxic smell - do not come close" and another one agrees laughing "Yeah their BO totally reminds me of dead fish. They ought to shower more often, seriously." will you join in the conversation and add a hilarious comment only to earn that Muslim's sins, walk away, or defend the absentee saying something like "Maybe they did bathe in the morning but they're all sweaty because they get stressed out easily, or they have internal health issues." or "What do you gain from talking about someone's stench? I'm sure all of us humans have smelt ike perspiration at one point or another. Why talk like experts at sniffing and identifying fragrances? Are you training yourselves to be canines? Be quiet, if you can't afford to be nice." Then if the mutual friend casually walks in during the discussion, would you tell them "Hey can you do something about your smell? Your disturbing odor is inspiring these clowns to gossip and I'm tired of tolerating their complaints. Like put on perfume, change your shirt or take a bath ASAP or we'll stink together." or will you take your friend aside, go to a more secluded area and kindly advise them stating "You know I love you for Allah's sake and care about you, right? And you understand that, as your friend, I would never want to do or say anything to purposely hurt you? Well, I notice that sometimes you emit bodily smells which can offend some people. Don't get me wrong, I also sweat a lot especially on hot days. But have you considered trying a different deodorant like the one I use or lime/calamansi juice, changing your garments more frequently, and avoiding wearing clothes that are soaking wet? If you take my advice, I guarantee you'll feel so much better when you keep yourself smelling fresh."
There is a positive impact in being advised by a loved one privately instead of receiving advice while several spectators are hearing you being criticized. The chances of a loved one taking your advice willingly if you admonish them in a one-on-one manner is much greater than if you were to point out their flaws and scolded them in public.
Naturally most people would avoid and no longer trust an individual who deliberately embarrassed them or gossiped about them. So next time you see a friend who decided to stop wearing the hijab for some personal reason, rather than gossiping to your other friends about them, arrogantly looking down on how she has become "lost, trashy, ignorant, deviant, and misguided", you can approach her directly, speak where no bystanders are nearby to gather information for their childish gossip, and educate her lovingly about the importance of wearing the hijab for Allah's sake until Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala softens her heart and she displays significant improvement, appreciating the virtues of modesty. Another alternative is to share articles about why Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala legislated Muslim women to wear the hijab and include her in your Du'as, praying that Allah the Most Merciful guides her someday, instead of gossiping with those who act as though they're flawless and who forget that they too are humanly capable of making mistakes.
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📖 Abdullah ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu reported that they mentioned a man in front of the Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam and they said, “He only eats if he is fed! He only moves if he is made to move!” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “You have backbitten him.” They said, “We only said what is true about him.” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “It is enough sin to mention bad things about your brother.”
In another narration, the Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “If what you said about him were not true, you would have slandered him.”
Source: Musnad ‘Abdullah ibn al-Mubārak 2
Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Al-Mundhiri
📖 Al-Muzanni reported: Al-Shafi’i, may Allah have mercy on him, said, “Whoever admonishes his brother in private has been sincere to him and protected his reputation. Whoever admonishes him in public has humiliated him and betrayed him.”
Source: Ḥilyat Al-Awliyā’ 13854