Sunday, March 7, 2021

Tips: What To Do When You Discover Some "Friends" Or Colleagues Gossiping About You

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 An awkward situation that a person can get themselves into is blurting some offensive remarks about another individual while having an online group meeting on Zoom, Big Blue Button or Skype, and they were unaware that their microphone wasn't set to mute. Imagine a scenario where you're attending a virtual class and while waiting for the instructor or main speaker to sign in, you overhear one of your classmates or colleagues say about you, "oh look, she's already logged in, the internet addict, the narcissist, the fatty, miss bossy pants, the hypocritical perfectionist etc." and others chime in laughing with "Ugh, I hate her so much!", "Yeah, she's annoying. A bore and show-off." and "I hate how she acts like she's better than us." What would your instant reaction be, whether you keep their ridiculous comments to yourself or you talk back saying, "Mayday, mayday, you forgot to mute your mic! Stop broadcasting your fakery and undeniable jealousy, guys." or "Ahem. Ahem. Wow. It seems like you clowns know more about me than I do myself. Please tell me more. I'm listening."?
It's from Allah's Mercy that He allows us to discover the true colors of some of the people whom He destined for us to meet. Instead of regularly chatting with them about personal matters, inviting them to go shopping or visit an Islamic bookstore with you, and buying them free snacks or drinks once in a while, Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala eventually exposes their nature so your energy, money and loyalty wouldn't be wasted on toxic people like them. Once a person has proved that they have the obnoxious tendency to gossip and describe you in the nastiest way possible, you can cancel your willingness to be more acquainted with them, and instead consider them as another stranger with whom you're not interested in connecting. Forgive them for Allah's sake, while adamantly avoiding actors and gossipers whose values don't align with yours.
Any statement which you don't want a certain someone to know about, whether it's said in a group chat or you typed it in a status message which is visible to a carefully selected list of followers, may be something that's better off left unsaid, if you don't want to be guilty of the major sin of backbiting and gossiping. 
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📖 AbdurRahman ibn Ghanm RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The best servants of Allah are those who remind you of Allah when they are seen. The worst servants of Allah are those who carry gossip, separating between loved ones and seeking misery for the innocent."
Source: Musnad Ahmed 17998
Grade: Hasan li ghayrihi according to Al-Arna’ut
📖 An-Nawwas ibn Sam’an RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "Righteousness is good character and sin is what wavers in your heart (makes you feel doubtful) and you hate for the people to find out about it."
Source: Sahih Muslim 2553 
Grade: Sahih
📖 Abdullah ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu reported that they mentioned a man in front of the Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam and they said, “He only eats if he is fed! He only moves if he is made to move!” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "You have backbitten him." They said, “We only said what is true about him.” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "It is enough sin to mention bad things about your brother."
In another narration, the Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If what you said about him were not true, you would have slandered him."
Source: Musnad ‘Abdullah ibn Al-Mubārak 2
Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Al-Mundhiri