Wednesday, June 30, 2021

Tips: So Long As You've Reached The Age Of Puberty, Age Doesn't Matter When You First Marry

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 In 2006 my brother who was 18 years old that time married our first cousin who would turn 21 in that year's September. Before that there was an arrangement for him to marry his childhood friend, but Allah the Most Wise decreed that their marriage wouldn't take place and instead the girl would marry a Middle Eastern guy she'd meet in Malaysia who's around nine years older than she is. Alhamdulillah my brother and his wife are blessed with five children for now, while the girl who was previously engaged to my brother is blessed with one beautiful half-Saudi half-Filipino daughter at the moment.
Alhamdulillah I was 20 when I married my husband who was 28, and became his second wife when I was around 26 years old. From my husband's side, the mother of one of his brothers-in-law got married when she was 14 or so years old while her husband was in his early 20s. MashaAllah. From what I understand, they're blessed with ten kids. My mother-in-law also married when she was around 14 years old and Allah the Most Merciful blessed her and her late husband (Allah yarhamhu. Ameen.) with twelve kids. 
A number of my students also married while still in their teens. The wife of one of them is older than him by several years and they're currently blessed with two sons. 
When I contemplate on how many Muslims have married at a young age, I recall how there are still a group of individuals around the globe who reached their forties and they're gladly contented with staying single. This reminded me of another childhood friend who married as a teenager then, if I'm not mistaken, in her twenties when she discovered that her ex-husband was interested in remarrying, she demanded for divorce. A person getting married at a young age does not guarantee that their marriage will last forever. Marriage doesn't equate to euphoria or complete happiness. It's basically another journey towards Jannah with its innumerable ups and downs, temporary trials and challenging puzzles to solve. 
The closer you are to Allah the Almighty, the more tests you may go through as a married Muslim, whether you're being temporarily tested with your husband's employment in a different city or country, with being infertile or not having as many kids as you liked, with polygyny, with some of your in-laws disputing with your family, with your husband's quick temper or jealously mistrusting attitude, with your spouse's current struggle with some Islamic rulings, or even with black magic or sorcery. 
For some Muslims, their decision to remain single while patiently waiting for their flawless spouse in Paradise may be more convenient for them if not having any spouse keeps their faith/Imaan strong and their overall well-being is a lot more stable than if they were in a complicated marriage which not everyone can handle patiently.
📋 1] Never compare your love story to another Muslim couple's romance. Watermelons, papayas, bananas, mangoes and apples are all sweet and enjoyable in their own way. 
2] Regardless of how old your husband is and the age you married him, what matters more is your actual niyyah/intention of marrying each other, aspiring to ensure that this loving bond leads to Allah's Love and Jannah's entry, while acknowledging from within that you're truly contented with Allah's Qadr/Destiny. 
3] Your marital status does not determine your true worth as a human being. What clearly distinguish Allah's servants from one another are their Taqwa, how close they are to Allah the Almighty and what kind of good deeds they consistently and sincerely do to succeed in both worlds.
~•~
📖 Aisha RadhiAllahu 'anha narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Marriage is part of my Sunnah. Whoever does not act upon my Sunnah is not part of me. Give each other in marriage, for I will boast of your great numbers before the nations. Whoever has the means, let him contract a marriage. Whoever does not have the means should fast, as fasting will discipline his impulses (desires)."
Source: Sunan Ibn Mājah 1846
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 
https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/poem-my-brief-love-story-and-allahs.html 
https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/note-not-everyone-on-earth-has-same.html 
https://binbaz.org.sa/fatwas/25486/%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%B3%D9%86-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%B4%D8%B1%D8%B9%D9%8A-%D9%84%D9%84%D8%B2%D9%88%D8%A7%D8%AC 
https://binbaz.org.sa/fatwas/14257/%D8%AD%D9%83%D9%85-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%B2%D9%88%D8%A7%D8%AC-%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%85%D8%A8%D9%83%D8%B1-%D9%88%D8%A8%D9%8A%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%B3%D9%86-%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%85%D9%86%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%A8-%D9%84%D9%84%D8%B2%D9%88%D8%A7%D8%AC