✅ Five qualities which healthy ESFJs have in common, from observing the overall attitude and personality of my husband and a sister in Islam from Malaysia:
1] As affectionate and empathic individuals who care about the well-being of both loved ones and strangers, they are eager to help out, offer advice, and provide practical assistance whenever they can.
2] They don't easily judge people according to their looks. They value inner beauty and reliability a lot more than superficial efforts to look "flawless".
3] They're readily forgiving, resilient, and understanding. Mature ESFJs are not nosy, not impatient, and not annoyingly melodramatic.
4] They diplomatically know when to be quiet and when to give somebody space. If a project or an agreement doesn't seem to be working out, they can effortlessly let go and try a different activity.
5] They are not people-pleasers. Confident Muslim ESFJs strive to prioritize pleasing Allah the Almighty instead of living their lives solely to meet everybody's demands.
❎ Five characteristics which are common among unhealthy (insecure) ESFJs, from analyzing the overall attitude and mannerisms of some female acquaintances:
1} Very often they readily display their emotions, negative or otherwise, without carefully thinking about the possible outcomes of their acts.
2} Generally they tend to partake in toxic gossip and seemingly enjoy criticizing the lives of most people behind their backs, as if one's ego benefits from broadcasting people's flaws.
3} They can be too impulsive when making unfair judgment about people according to their outward actions and appearance.
4} If they dislike you due to intense jealousy or feel intimidated by your confidence, they can be obnoxiously uncommunicative, uncooperative, and unsupportive, or treat you disrespectfully in a passive-aggressive way.
5} Envy is an unpleasant trait which most insecure ESFJs can struggle with. Seeing other individuals whom they don't regard as loved ones doing better than them in fields or activities they're trying to thrive in compels them to be loudly resentful, selfish, unreliable, needlessly competitive, and overly sensitive.
⭐ What you can do to connect with ESFJ personality types (ESFJ-A / ESFJ-T) if you are willing to get along, specially if they are family or neighbors:
1) Occasionally do what you can to make it obvious that you have nothing against them and their values, without sacrificing your own dignity.
2) When you overhear them gossiping or angrily ranting about so-and-so, if you genuinely care, try to approach them one-on-one and kindly advise them regarding why backbiting is something we must avoid for Allah's sake, as Muslims. Out of the 16 personality types, a lot of ESFJs tend to be stereotypically gossipy.
3) While you frequently include them in your loving Du'as and compassionately correct them whenever they're wrong, patiently put up with their impulsivity, insecurities, and mistakes. Loved ones who are somewhat challenging to manage can train us to improve in applying patience and good character for Allah's sake.
4) Ensure that you don't intentionally make them feel ignored or emotionally neglected. Some unhealthy ESFJs can quickly take offense if you haven't checked on them online and offline for several days.
5) Always provide a justifiable reason if ever you cancel plans or did something which affected them negatively. Insecure ESFJs may start doubting themselves or your connection when dealing with misunderstandings and disappointments.
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📖 Anas Ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The believer is one who is trusted by the people. The Muslim is one from whose tongue and hand the Muslims are safe (not guilty of backbiting, telling lies, and knowingly committing injustice). The emigrant (muhaajir) is one who emigrates away from evil. By the One (Allah the Almighty) in Whose Hand is my soul, a servant will not enter Paradise if his neighbor is not secure from his harm."
Source: Sahih Ibn Hibbān 515
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Arna'ut
https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/06/poem-describing-my-husbands-personality.html
https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/12/note-how-intj-wife-connects-with-her.html
https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/06/note-on-self-discovery-and-mbti.html
https://personalitygrowth.com/heres-what-each-personality-type-looks-like-when-they-are-unhealthy/
https://www.16personalities.com/articles/assertive-consul-esfj-a-vs-turbulent-consul-esfj-t