Friday, August 6, 2021

Tips: How To Deal With Envious People

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 Obvious signs that someone is jealous of you, even if they deny their jealousy or act friendly:
1] They hate seeing you happy. Complimenting you for your good qualities, acknowledging your accomplishments and congratulating you on memorable occasions are too difficult for them to do.
2] Because your happiness makes them sad, they try to make you feel bad whenever possible. So they're likely to ignore you, underestimate you, or exclude you from group outings, meetings and social gatherings.
3] You can sense negative vibes coming from them, even if they fake a forced smile. Interactions with them are typically awkward or too brief, as though your presence brings them discomfort, due to their intense feelings of jealousy towards you. If you're observant enough, you may at times catch them scowling, frowning or rolling their eyes once you walk away from them.
4] Apologizing, appreciating you and maintaining general courtesy are things they can't do when you're around. Being rude, disrespectful, and indifferent, or falsely accusing you (Example: Claiming you're doing something to show off or you're infatuated with yourself) come naturally to them, which reflect their envious resentment.
5] If you're "friends" on Facebook, they never initiate chat conversations with you, check how you're doing or react to any of your status updates. If you're not connected on Facebook, their envy triggers them to stalk your timeline and comments on other users' walls to take advantage of whatever info you put out there or wait for you to post negative news to laugh at you when you're not doing well.
🔹 How to deal with those who envy you:
1] Avoid giving them too much information about what's going on in your life, thoughts and dreams. The less they know about you, the better. Likewise, actively stay away from their negativity. If they stalk your Facebook timeline through another account, don't bother stalking theirs. Literally have nothing to do with them, especially if they can't benefit your overall well-being.
2] Just treat them like an acquaintance or a stranger whom you're not interested in getting close to. Continue practicing basic manners with them and answer their salaams if they say salaam to you.
3] Although they probably backbite and gossip about you, don't lower yourself to their low standards by similarly indulging in backbiting or spreading rumors.
Let Allah the Almighty deal with them, while you busy yourself with doing more good deeds, particularly saying Du'as and Dhikr often.
4] Focus on your own goals and be grateful for those friends who value your companionship even if trustworthy companions are few.
5] Feel sorry for envious individuals who are emotionally disturbed by the enormous negative energy which result from envy. Thank Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala that you're not like them in struggling with insecurities, dissatisfaction with Qadr/Destiny and a lack of self-esteem.
🔹 Tips to avoid being jealous of anyone:
1] Realize that Allah the Most Wise blessed all His servants differently. Each blessing could be a trial or examination to test people's niyyah/intention or levels of faith, gratitude and patience. Instead of comparing your exam to someone else's, concentrate on passing Allah's tests as you strive to be the best version of yourself. 
2] Being content with whatever gift or favor that Allah the Most Merciful chose for you is one of the factors of being pleased with Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala as your Rabb and Creator Who has every right to provide what He Wills to whomever He chooses.
3] When you're aware that deliberately acting upon negative feelings of jealousy erases your good deeds, you try your utmost to save those rewards and avoid hating people for the things which Allah the All-Knowing destined to give them.
4] The more thankful you are to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala for the favors He bestowed upon you, the more you admit there's no reason to envy others for what they have or can do.
5] Part of truly loving a Muslim for Allah's sake is to be joyful when you see them smiling. Train yourself to express genuine joy whenever friends or loved ones attain success, without complaining or harboring jealous emotions.
Note: It's not always material things and worldly joys that cause some people to get jealous. Some people's hearts are so dark that they dislike your goodness and closeness to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala. So it is not surprising to discover a lady who left her ex-husband for remarrying finds herself envying tough wives who are patiently content with a polygynous marriage life, or unsupportive distant relatives who act like you're not related in spite of your efforts to uphold family ties.
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Beware of envy, for it erases good deeds just as fire devours wood or grass."
Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4903
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Suyuti
📖 Anas Ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Envy consumes good deeds just as fire burns wood. Charity (Sadaqah) extinguishes sinful deeds just as water extinguishes fire. Prayer is the light of the believer and fasting is his shield from the Hellfire."
Source: Sunan Ibn Mājah 4210
Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Ibn Asakir
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Beware of suspicion, for suspicion is the most false of tales. Do not seek out faults, do not spy on each other, do not contend with each other, do not envy each other, do not hate each other, and do not turn away from each other. Rather, be servants of Allah as brothers."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5719
Sahih Muslim 2563
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

Poem: Some Secrets To Not Feeling Jealous At All

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 
💌 From my secrets to feeling unfazed by jealousy, 
Unaffected when some people try to purposely 
Make me "jealous" when their acts simply provoke pity, 
Are contentment and patience with Allah's Destiny, 
And positive self-talk which can augment self-esteem.
~•~ 
I believe Allah distributed His gifts wisely 
To His servants. No matter how much each soul receives, 
There's wisdom in what Allah gives, withholds, and retrieves, 
To observe if we'll respond with gratitude or greed, 
And if the blessings become keys to Jannah's entry.
~•~
If I sense that certain users online cheesily 
Post photos or status updates to arouse envy, 
I don't get "jealous", can't wish "if only that were me", 
As I refuse to admire anyone who's guilty 
Of inauthenticity or insecurities. 
~•~ 
If I feel that someone loves Allah the Almighty, 
While their faith/Imaan is firm and their good vibes are real, 
I reject invites from shaytan to greet jealousy, 
Since the gifts a soul enjoys come from Allah Only, 
And I don't take for granted what Allah chose for me.
~•~ 
If I truly "envied" some, I'd act ungraciously, 
Mistreating them and gossiping to soothe misery. 
Still I'm not "envious", can't question Allah's Decree, 
And when I spot things I want enjoyed by somebody, 
I thank Allah, knowing Allah knows what's best for me.
~•~ 
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Faith and envy do not combine within a believing servant."
In another narration, the Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Greed and faith are never combined in the heart of a servant."
Source: Sunan Al-Nasā’ī 3109
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Look at those below you and do not look at those above you, for it is the best way not to belittle the favors of Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala)."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 6125
Sahih Muslim 2963
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 
📖 Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "There is no envy but in two cases: A man whom Allah has given wealth and he spends it rightly (for Allah's sake), and a man whom Allah has given wisdom and he judges and teaches others with it."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 73 
Sahih Muslim 816
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Beware of envy, for it devours good deeds just as fire devours wood or grass."
Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4903
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Suyuti
https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/poem-thank-allah-for-blessings-he-chose.html 
https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/poem-five-insecure-habits-that.html 
https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/06/poem-tips-on-how-to-manage-negative.html