💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
📜 Question: As an INTJ personality type, did you ever go through bullying at school? What advice can you give on dealing with bullies?
📝 Answer: Being the only Filipino among large classrooms of Saudi and Arab females at the Arabic (private and public) schools I went to back in Riyadh city, yes, I was usually bullied by a few students. I usually had some of my money stolen or missing from my bag, was regularly laughed at when somebody would loudly pronounce my full name incorrectly, and every now and then almost wherever I went around the school there'd be a number of girls from different grade levels rudely staring at me, giggling or calling me in Arabic "Chinese" (Sseeniyyah), "Japanese" (Yaabaaniyyah), Filipina (Filibbeeniyyah) and on one occasion "French" (Faransiyyah). Imagine a Sri Lankan student with dark skin walking around the halls while random students frequently yell out "African!", "Yo blackie!" and "Chocolate mousse". It wouldn't be fun if you were in that student's place.
I remember one instance when I was trying to pull out a folding seat at a school bus and this chubby girl was purposely preventing me from sitting beside her. Alhamdulillah after a few minutes of struggling to sit properly, an older student motioned me to be seated near her at the back.
Eventually when I realized the negative impact of being bullied by two or three students when I was in elementary school, I informed my loving parents (Allah yarhamhuma. Ameen.) about what was going on. Alhamdulillah they were able to solve the bullying issue, with my dear mom (Allah yarhamha. Ameen.) actually contacting some of the administrators and female staff to handle the problem directly.
I find it strange that in spite of all the times when several students would laugh at me for looking different, for my nationality and for the way my surname sounds, I couldn't feel offended and distraught at all, as if easily getting hurt when criticized for how Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala created me isn't one of my functions. Although some students and teachers would often scowl or burst into laughter when I'd do something which they'd consider silly, particularly since I struggled to communicate well in Arabic language, I remained emotionally undisturbed and unaffected by how I was perceived by people, not knowing that being an INTJ personality type could be why I generally seemed "unemotional".
✅ Some tips on dealing with bullying (Advice to kids, teens and those young at heart):
1] Maintain strong connection with Allah the Almighty Who sees everything which occurs on earth and Who always deals with His servants justly. Whenever you have problems, seek guidance and help from Allah Who knows how to answer your Du'as wisely.
2] Understand why bullies act like they enjoy bullying when in reality, deep down inside, they feel miserable, awful and guilty about behaving irrationally. A lot of them likely misbehave due to their struggles with abusive parents, disappointing academic performance or older siblings who bully them in their homes, or some aspects about you cause them to feel jealous and insecure.
3] A ) Stubbornly ignore toxic people until they get tired of bullying you. Don't pay attention to their idiotic attempts at grabbing your attention which they probably couldn't receive from their parents who didn't do very well in teaching them good manners.
B ) Confidently talk back and defend yourself if you believe that doing so won't cause more trouble than if you stayed silent and indifferent. Your bullies may start liking you if they notice that you're capable of defending what you value.
C ) Tell at least two adults whom you can trust about what's bothering you instead of keeping the bullying problem a secret.
4] Do some research on how others effectively tackled bullying without intending to injure anybody. If you can't make a friend out of a bully, avoid interacting with them as much as possible, and when you must speak, be concise unapologetically.
5] Steadfastly believe that all humans (and jinns) will be rewarded and requited for their actions if not sooner in this world then later on the Day of Judgment. A sense of relief can be felt when you know that, with Allah's Will, the outcomes of people's actions ultimately return to them at the most ideal timing.
~•~
📖 Abdullah Bin Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated that Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "The Muslim is the one from whose tongue and hands the Muslims are safe."
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Al-Bukhari 10 Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi
📖 Amr Ibn Absah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: A man said, “O Messenger of Allah, what is Islam?” The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "That you surrender your heart to Allah and that the Muslims are safe from your tongue and hands."
Source: Shu'ab Al-Imān 20 Grade: Sahih
📖 Abu Nadrah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated that Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "O people, your Rabb (Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala) is One and your father Adam ('alaihis salaam) is one. There is no favor of an Arab over a foreigner (non-Arab), nor a foreigner over an Arab, and neither white skin over black skin, nor black skin over white skin, except by (Taqwa) righteousness. Have I not delivered the message?"
Source: Musnad Ahmed 22978
Grade: Sahih
https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/10/tips-on-dealing-with-adult-bullying.html
https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/10/tips-how-most-intjs-would-respond-to.html
https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/06/note-advice-on-how-not-to-get-offended.html
https://abukhadeejah.com/allah-has-forbidden-oppression-for-himself-and-has-forbidden-it-for-the-people-hadith-qudsi/
https://personalitygrowth.com/heres-how-you-handle-bullying-based-on-your-personality-type/
