💌 Not everyone has the same love story. I remember my dear mom (Allah yarhamha. Ameen.) telling me how my father (Allah yarhamhu. Ameen.) used to make many attempts to court her, like the typical romantic Maranao guy with classic bell-bottoms back in the 80s, but she would reject every one of his efforts to gain her attention until he had the courage to speak to her family to officially seek her hand in marriage. Alhamdulillah my parents got married, visited several countries around the world including the US and UK, networked with Da'ees like Bilal Philips and AbdurRahman Dimashqiah, wrote several Islamic books together which were published by Darussalam Bookstores, and although their very first son passed away before I was born Alhamdulillah they did an excellent job at raising me and my brothers with a strict but worthwhile upbringing. Before my mom died from cancer she requested my dad to remarry so their kids can have a stepmother. My father however chose to have her as his only wife until after some months it was Allah's Qadr that my dad passed away following her. I believe his medical complications were also due to severe sadness from being a widower.
I pray that Allah the Most Merciful reunites my dear parents in Jannatul Ferdaus and accepts all their good deeds with Allah's Mercy. Ameen.
My husband's mother from what I know got married when she was around 14 or 15 years old. Alhamdulillah she and her husband, who happens to be my uncle (Allah yarhamhu. Ameen.) since I married my cousin, were able to have twelve children together Alhamdulillah, with one baby boy that passed away before my husband was born.
My brother Ahmad since he was a baby was engaged to get married in the future to his childhood friend whom we'll nickname "A". A's mother and my mother gave birth at almost the same time in 1988 Dammam (northeastern Saudi Arabia). Because they were close friends, they promised they would let their babies (boy and girl) get married when they become adults. However since Allah's Plans always overtake His servants', that plan didn't take place. Thus my brother Ahmad got married to our paternal cousin who's around three years older than him. Alhamdulillah they currently have five adorable kids, whereas A is married to a Saudi guy whom she met in Malaysia and has one beautiful half-Saudi half-Filipino daughter at the moment.
My brother AbdurRahman, with Allah's Will, was the one who got married to his childhood friend Eemaan. They were never close though as little kids, but our families regularly attended the same gatherings back in Riyadh city. I pray that Allah the Most Loving blesses them with many pious Muslim children. Ameen.
My love journey is a complicated one, but Alhamdulillah every struggle comes with a set of lessons learned from whatever we experience. In my teens I received several marriage proposals, one coming from a religious Pakistani guy, one from a Filipino Muslim who was employed in Madinah at that time, one from a Filipino residing in USA, and another from a childhood friend whose name is like one of my brothers Abdul-Rahman. I rejected them all, claiming this one was too baby-faced, that one was too shy, this one was younger than me and I preferred an older guy. After some time my mother (Allah yarhamha. Ameen.) with her motherly instincts thought I was having a haraam connection with one of my former best friends, but that wasn't the case, we just enjoyed talking to each other on the phone a lot. Because she was worried I might turn into a "lesbian" (no, I'm not gay, queer, or bisexual), which is probably why in her opinion I kept saying no to the marriage proposals I was getting, she and my dad finally got me arranged to marry my first cousin, a medical doctor. So Alhamdulillah in Shawwal 2006 I got married at age 20 to my cousin who was 28 then. Since I grew up in Saudi Arabia while he was raised in Mindanao, we saw each other like complete strangers in the beginning and Alhamdulillah we learned more about love along the way. When I was around 26 years old I became his first wife when he married this Visayan lady who's one year older than me. Alhamdulillah through this marriage I became more enthusiastic and supportive of polygyny after doing extensive research on its virtues and benefits.
Another brief love story I want to mention is that of a childhood friend who divorced her husband after having one daughter with him. Several years later they remarried and Alhamdulillah they're able to have more children. Another older acquaintance, a mother of one of our students here at Wisdom Islamic School, also divorced her husband at one point but after a number of years went by, they remarried and had more kids with Allah's Will.
Never compare your love journey to others' marriage lives, as our Qadr, capabilities and roles are not exactly the same. What makes a marriage blessed isn't the couple's large number of children nor how much money the head of the family makes, but what really adds blessings and barakah to your marital life is genuine love for Allah's sake. A marriage is a blessing from Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala if it protects both wife and husband from getting into zina / forbidden relationships, and if it trains you to embrace patience / Sabr and gratitude / Shukr thereby completing the other half of your Deen and leading you to Jannah Paradise where the sincere believers can enjoy perfect and flawless love for eternity.
📖 Abdullah Ibn Mas’ud RadhiAllahu anhu narrated that Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu alaihi wa sallam said, "O young men, if you are able to support a wife, then get married. Verily, it restrains the eyes and guards chastity. Whoever is not able to do so, he must fast (Sunnah fasts) as it is a means of control."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 1806
Sahih Muslim 1400
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim
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