💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
🗒️ Five examples to clarify the differences between having self-respect (commendable) and struggling with a big ego (actual kibr / arrogance which we must avoid for Allah's sake):
1🔹 When a salesperson, janitor or stranger calls you "sir" mistakenly if you're female or "ma'am" whether on purpose or unintentionally if you are male:
❌ If you have an ego problem: You'd instantly snap, feeling intensely offended, and insult them in such a way they'll be too scared to make the same mistake when dealing with you, because you're "superior" while they're "nobody".
✅ If you have self-respect: You'd calmly understand that they probably didn't mean it, and if they did, you would feel sorry for them, assuming they're likely struggling with some insecurities. This, awareness of their struggles and the rewards of patience, inspires you to forgive their mistake and confidently move on, refusing to partake in conflict which can negatively affect your overall well-being.
2🔹 When a customer cuts in line and pushes your shopping cart to place theirs ahead of you:
❌ If you have an ego problem: You'd argue with them without first carefully thinking about the consequences of participating in drama.
✅ If you have self-respect: You would courageously ask the person if they noticed the other shoppers already queuing before they arrived and request them to join the queue appropriately, or if you believe that a conversation with them won't change anything, you simply transfer to a different cashier's counter, uninterested in playing games with childish adults.
3🔹 When a certain colleague or acquaintance whose vibes don't mesh with yours frequently brags about how awesome their life is whenever they find the opportunity to talk to you:
❌ If you have an ego problem: You'd pridefully compete in boasting about your own joys and accomplishments, particularly on social media, with the sole intention of making them feel jealous and "inferior" then gossip about how much you can't stand them to your circle of confidants.
✅ If you have self-respect: You'd maintain basic courtesy as you minimize unnecessary conversations with them because of how toxic they can be, and unfollow their posts on social media. From respecting yourself is to avoid paying attention to insecure individuals who can't inspire you to become a better Muslim, while ignoring content on the internet which trigger bad moods.
4🔹 When you discover that a group of persons whom you thought were your friends go on a trip without you for the third time:
❌ If you have an ego problem: You'd angrily post passive-aggressive Facebook status updates about them, tag their names on public posts that are related to "fake friends" or temporary friendships, or go on an outing not with them but with another set of acquaintances then broadcast your instant payback to soothe your hurt pride, unaware that they didn't invite you because they genuinely assumed you were busy.
✅ If you have self-respect: You'd approach some, if not all, of the members of the squad to inform them how you're interested in joining them on future outings so you can be included in their plans next time. Otherwise, you could regard them as mere acquaintances instead of friends without feeling bothered about their choice to exclude you, accepting the fact that Allah the Most Wise already destined who from His servants are meant to actually connect with you.
5🔹 When a guest at a wedding takes the seat which you reserved and it was left unattended because you had to go to the restroom:
❌ If you have an ego problem: You'd furiously command them to get up and give "your" chair back when there are other chairs available.
✅ If you have self-respect: With calmness you'd look for a different chair or request a waiter at the venue to bring another one, uninterested in starting a petty fight all because of an inanimate object.
✖️ When you have a huge ego, a lot of your actions, such as your decision to discontinue communicating with a particular individual, are the result of acting irrationally upon negative emotions including anger, sadness and jealousy.
✔️ When you are practicing self-respect, you strive for Allah's sake to ensure that your deeds are driven by logic, not fluctuating feelings, and your choices are based on what makes most sense to you in compliance with your values. Self-respect is not something to be ashamed of when it motivates you to do what Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala and His noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam love.
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📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Charity does not decrease wealth, no one forgives another but that Allah increases his honor, and no one humbles himself for the sake of Allah but that Allah raises his status."
Source: Sahih Muslim 2588
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim
📖 Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "No one who has the weight of a seed (or atom) of arrogance in his heart will enter Paradise." Someone said, "But a man loves to have beautiful clothes and shoes." The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, Allah is Beautiful and He loves beauty. Arrogance means rejecting the truth and looking down on the people."
In another narration, the Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "No one who has the weight of a seed of faith in his heart will enter Hellfire."
Source: Sahih Muslim 91
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim
https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/06/poem-i-am-just-one-of-allahs-servants.html
https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/11/poem-be-humble-all-humans-are-allahs.html
https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/05/poem-nine-signs-of-actual-narcissists.html
https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/01/poem-what-real-arrogance-is-and-what-it.html
https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/note-actual-narcissists-vs-actually.html