Thursday, November 5, 2020

Note: Arranged marriages vs forced marriages

 💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 "Arranged marriages" and "forced marriages" are not the same. In an arranged marriage, it's typically the woman's parents who suggests a potential suitor for her and they plan a certain date where she and the guy can meet each other to check if there's compatibility or "instant chemistry", not by themselves but in the presence of other mahrams. If she happens to be an orphan, her brothers or uncles are usually the ones who find a suitable partner and they interview him, then allowing the guy to look at the woman he's willing to marry for Allah's sake, and finalizing the marriage contract when she clearly approves of his proposal.

Forced marriages, in contrast, occur when a woman is married off without her actual willingness to marry the man. Oftentimes the individuals who prepare this unjust transaction want it for their own personal gain, whether it's to get rid of the woman from staying at their house as she moves to another country with a guy whom she's not interested in marrying, to greedily acquire the wealth obtained from the bride's dowry, or to improve relations between the woman's family and the guy's clan despite the bride and groom being incompatible with one another.

There is no such thing as forced marriage in Islam. A Muslim woman has every right to choose who she wishes to marry, especially a pious, decent, or well-educated Muslim man whom she should be capable of being loyal to for many years.

It is the Muslimah who is getting married, not her parents, brothers, relatives and community. Thus a marriage is devoid of blessings if it goes against the Sunnah of the beloved Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam and both of the persons getting married are doing something merely to satisfy people out of coercion.

📖 Aisha RadhiAllahu 'anha narrated: I said, “O Messenger of Allah, should women be asked for their consent (permission) before marriage?” The Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “Yes.” I said, “Indeed, sometimes a virgin is too shy to speak when asked.” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “Her silence is her consent (agreement).”

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 6547

Sahih Muslim 1420

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim