💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 It can be really sad and disheartening to see your mother or father in a dream and upon waking up you realize they're not in your present life anymore. You no longer hear the angry yet caring scoldings of your father whenever he tried to correct your wrongs, or his inspiring talks at the dinner table when the family gathered together. You deeply miss the delicious dishes that your dear mother cooked with her tireless hands, her comforting advice that helped you in self-development and her warm concerns whenever she noticed you weren't feeling well. Each time you see an elderly person, you're reminded of how nice it would be if your parents were still alive so you can earn the immense rewards of sincerely respecting and taking care of them for Allah's sake.
Unpleasant guilt can often creep into those who feel as though they didn't serve their parents enough, who resent how they weren't able to say goodbye before their parents were buried, who experience depressive feelings when they recall how their parent/s couldn't attend their wedding or graduation ceremony, who cry at the thought of seeing their kids grow up without compassionate grandparents, and who become sadly nostalgic when they remember the memorable times they've had with the wonderful souls who brought them up well and educated them on Islam and good character.
🔹Tips on how to deal with feeling low or despondent as an adult orphan:
1] Remember that your parents, just as yourself and every other living being, belong to Allah the Almighty Who has the right to return whatever belongs to Him anytime. Patiently accept Allah's Qadr/Destiny instead of miserably wishing your parents lived a longer life.
2] Be grateful Alhamdulillah that you at least witnessed your parents raise you until your teenage years. A lot of children have to deal with the struggle of being orphaned at a very young age, many of them not knowing what it's like to receive the affection of a protective parent.
3] Feel contented and relieved to know that you are not like those disobedient children who sent their parents to an 'old age home' or 'senior care residence', expecting strangers to be caregivers of the people who raised them since they were born.
4] There have been numerous news in the past and cases where a teenager or adult was imprisoned for killing their parent/s over some worldly-related issue. I still can't forget that case when I was a teen back in Saudi Arabia where a young man shot his parents while they were sleeping just because they wouldn't give him enough freedom to enjoy life his own way. Be thankful you weren't that sort of burden to your parents.
5] Express gratitude to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala that your parents were not alcoholics, drug addicts, criminals, and intentionally abusive narcissists. Other kids around the world are frequently being neglected and abused by their misguided parents. Alhamdulillah you didn't go through such abuse.
6] Take opportunity to gain more rewards whenever you miss your mother and/or father to mention them in your loving Du'as, particularly when you're fasting or praying Tahajjud at night. Pray to Allah the Most Merciful that He forgives your parents, accepts their good deeds, protects them from entering Hell, increase the good deeds in their account through charity done on their behalf, and supplicate that Jannah Paradise is where you can finally reunite.
7] Demonstrate extra kindness and generosity towards orphans, especially young orphan Muslims. Being affectionate, helpful and endearing to them can compensate for whatever shortcoming you've had concerning your parents in the previous years. Let your parents' death pleasantly inspire you to be stronger through being more generous, kindhearted, tolerant, forgiving, and understanding towards others for the sake of Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala.
Note: Rather than uploading photos of your parents on social media and writing indirect letters to them which they can't read, you can honor them for Allah's sake by praying for them daily, doing charity or performing Hajj/'Umrah on their behalf, and by not willfully abandoning the people whom they cared about during their lifetime, steadfastly guiding their relatives to Islam and if possible encouraging them to be the best Muslims whom Allah wants us to be.
Today Jumuah Friday before Salat Al-Maghreb include your parents and the Muslim Ummah in your Du'as.
~*~
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, Allah the Almighty will raise the status of His righteous servants in Paradise and they will say: 'O Allah, what is this?' Allah will say: 'This is due to your child seeking forgiveness for you.'"
Source: Musnad Ahmed 10232
Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Al-Albani
Islamic reminders, Hadith, notes, poems, poetry, lessons, reflections etc.
Thursday, June 4, 2020
Poem: Learn From Your Mistakes.
💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 As Allah's servants who are prone to err and forget,
As Allah's slaves who are likely to misinterpret,
Misjudge, misread, mistype, misspell, and be incorrect,
Our mistakes are for us to learn from, not stay upset.
~*~
A mistake is often the outcome of clumsiness,
Ignorance, hastiness, or lack of self-awareness.
When you make errors, instead of remaining distressed
Or ashamed, learn from the past and keep doing your best.
~*~
Regardless of how many wrongs you have committed,
Let every fault push you to decrease conceitedness,
Take blunders as reminders to increase humbleness,
And allow flaws to proclaim 'no human is perfect'.
~*~
If previously you showed some people foul disrespect,
If you've hurt someone before with statements offensive,
Behaved unfairly, was too passive or aggressive,
Be strong enough to reform, get yourself corrected.
~*~
When you should, say sorry and be apologetic.
Admit you were wrong. Don't self-destruct with injustice.
Attempt to be more mindful, extra deliberate,
And think twice before an act or you could regret it.
~*~
If ever your careless choices lead to long-term stress,
Cry to Allah about them on a prayer carpet,
Praying for Allah's Mercy and hoping He forgives,
Eager to improve and be more mature from your mess.
~*~
Say more Dhikr and do good to express thankfulness
To Allah and with His slaves be willing to assist.
Grow from each letdown, heartbreak, moment of awkwardness.
Patiently keep striving to pass dunya's short-lived tests.
~*~
📖 Anas ibn Malik RadhiAllahu ‘anhu narrated: Allah’s noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Deliberation is from Allah, and recklessness is from shaytan."
Source: Al-Sunan Al-Kubrá 18651
Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Al-Albani
📖 Sahl ibn Sa’d RadhiAllahu ‘anhu narrated: Allah’s noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Clemency is from Allah and haste is from shaytan."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2012
Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Al-Suyuti
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu ‘anhu narrated: Allah’s noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “The strong believer is more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.’ Rather say: "Allah has decreed what He wills.” Verily, the phrase ‘if only’ opens the way for the work of shaytan.“
Source: Sahih Muslim 2664
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim
💌 As Allah's servants who are prone to err and forget,
As Allah's slaves who are likely to misinterpret,
Misjudge, misread, mistype, misspell, and be incorrect,
Our mistakes are for us to learn from, not stay upset.
~*~
A mistake is often the outcome of clumsiness,
Ignorance, hastiness, or lack of self-awareness.
When you make errors, instead of remaining distressed
Or ashamed, learn from the past and keep doing your best.
~*~
Regardless of how many wrongs you have committed,
Let every fault push you to decrease conceitedness,
Take blunders as reminders to increase humbleness,
And allow flaws to proclaim 'no human is perfect'.
~*~
If previously you showed some people foul disrespect,
If you've hurt someone before with statements offensive,
Behaved unfairly, was too passive or aggressive,
Be strong enough to reform, get yourself corrected.
~*~
When you should, say sorry and be apologetic.
Admit you were wrong. Don't self-destruct with injustice.
Attempt to be more mindful, extra deliberate,
And think twice before an act or you could regret it.
~*~
If ever your careless choices lead to long-term stress,
Cry to Allah about them on a prayer carpet,
Praying for Allah's Mercy and hoping He forgives,
Eager to improve and be more mature from your mess.
~*~
Say more Dhikr and do good to express thankfulness
To Allah and with His slaves be willing to assist.
Grow from each letdown, heartbreak, moment of awkwardness.
Patiently keep striving to pass dunya's short-lived tests.
~*~
📖 Anas ibn Malik RadhiAllahu ‘anhu narrated: Allah’s noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Deliberation is from Allah, and recklessness is from shaytan."
Source: Al-Sunan Al-Kubrá 18651
Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Al-Albani
📖 Sahl ibn Sa’d RadhiAllahu ‘anhu narrated: Allah’s noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Clemency is from Allah and haste is from shaytan."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2012
Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Al-Suyuti
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu ‘anhu narrated: Allah’s noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “The strong believer is more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.’ Rather say: "Allah has decreed what He wills.” Verily, the phrase ‘if only’ opens the way for the work of shaytan.“
Source: Sahih Muslim 2664
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim
Note: The Eclipse Prayer
💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala knows best. According to some reports Inn-sha-Allah on Saturday June 6 there may be a lunar eclipse. It is Sunnah to pray two Rak'ahs of Salat Al-Kusoof (solar eclipse) / Al-Khusoof (lunar eclipse) reciting the Surahs in an audible voice when an eclipse is taking place.
Research on YouTube for the keywords "lunar eclipse 2020" or "June eclipse 2020" to watch some live broadcasts of the eclipse, and read more on how to perform the eclipse prayer.
You can Inn-sha-Allah continue fasting the six days of Shawwal or start with the 13th (which is tomorrow Friday), 14th (Saturday June 6) and 15th (Sunday June 7) of every month. What is discouraged is to fast on a Friday by itself without fasting a day before or after.
Include the Muslim Ummah in your Du'as.
📖 Al-Mughira ibn Shu’ba RadhiAllahu 'anhu narated: On the day the Prophet’s son Ibrahim died, the sun eclipsed and the people said the eclipse was because of the death of Ibrahim. The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “The sun and the moon are two signs among the signs of Allah and they do not eclipse because of the death or birth of any person. When you see them, call upon Allah and pray until the eclipse is clear.”
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 1012, Sahih Muslim 915
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim
https://abdurrahman.org/2014/01/21/salat-ul-kusuf-eclipse-prayer/
"Do Not Belittle The Importance Of The Eclipse – Islamic reminder by brother Dawud Adib"
https://abdurrahman.org/2015/03/19/do-not-belittle-the-importance-of-the-eclipse-dawud-adib/
💌 Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala knows best. According to some reports Inn-sha-Allah on Saturday June 6 there may be a lunar eclipse. It is Sunnah to pray two Rak'ahs of Salat Al-Kusoof (solar eclipse) / Al-Khusoof (lunar eclipse) reciting the Surahs in an audible voice when an eclipse is taking place.
Research on YouTube for the keywords "lunar eclipse 2020" or "June eclipse 2020" to watch some live broadcasts of the eclipse, and read more on how to perform the eclipse prayer.
You can Inn-sha-Allah continue fasting the six days of Shawwal or start with the 13th (which is tomorrow Friday), 14th (Saturday June 6) and 15th (Sunday June 7) of every month. What is discouraged is to fast on a Friday by itself without fasting a day before or after.
Include the Muslim Ummah in your Du'as.
📖 Al-Mughira ibn Shu’ba RadhiAllahu 'anhu narated: On the day the Prophet’s son Ibrahim died, the sun eclipsed and the people said the eclipse was because of the death of Ibrahim. The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “The sun and the moon are two signs among the signs of Allah and they do not eclipse because of the death or birth of any person. When you see them, call upon Allah and pray until the eclipse is clear.”
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 1012, Sahih Muslim 915
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim
https://abdurrahman.org/2014/01/21/salat-ul-kusuf-eclipse-prayer/
"Do Not Belittle The Importance Of The Eclipse – Islamic reminder by brother Dawud Adib"
https://abdurrahman.org/2015/03/19/do-not-belittle-the-importance-of-the-eclipse-dawud-adib/
Poem: Tips On How To Respect Your Husband
💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 So I was asked to give some tips on how to respect
Your spouse and soulmate whom Allah wisely selected.
Loving him for Allah's sake, try to have his needs met.
If some can't be fulfilled, explain, so he's not upset.
~*~
Greet him with salaams and diversify your greetings -
A hug or warm embrace that sings "I missed you, darling.",
A kiss on his forehead, soft pat or brief massaging,
A bashful smile or grin that paints how much you've missed him.
~*~
Don't disturb him if sleeping unless it's prayer time.
Remind him nicely when he doesn't do some things right.
Pay attention when he's talking. Look into his eyes.
Don't ruin his good mood by letting him see you cry.
~*~
So long as they're halal, if he has hobbies, give space.
Let him chill with his friends. Your turn's on another date.
When he returns tired, don't stress him nor investigate.
Allah has seen all and knows how to deal with His slaves.
~*~
What your husband wants, strive to give him. What he hates leave.
If he asks you to do chores, don't demand "First, say 'please'."
Serving him for Allah's sake proves you're a tough wifey,
Wise to fulfill your role and responsibilities.
~*~
Befriend his loved ones, specially those who brought him up.
Again when he speaks to you, don't try to interrupt.
The only time you can scold him is when he's corrupt.
Advise and correct him, while not giving up your love.
~*~
Don't be too demanding, yet encourage him always
To enhance his faith so he does well on Judgment Day.
Forgive his flaws and delays. Be strong enough to wait.
Respecting one's spouse in Islam has a lofty place.
~*~
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If I were to order anyone to prostrate to another, I would have ordered a wife to prostrate before her husband."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhī 1159
Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Al-Tirmidhi
Ali Al-Qari said, "That she prostrates to her husband is due to the number of his rights over her and her difficulty in maintaining gratitude for them. This rhetorical point conveys the obligation of the wife to obey her husband in his rights. Indeed, prostration is not lawful to anyone other than Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala."
Source: Mirqāt Al-Mafātīḥ 5/2125
💌 So I was asked to give some tips on how to respect
Your spouse and soulmate whom Allah wisely selected.
Loving him for Allah's sake, try to have his needs met.
If some can't be fulfilled, explain, so he's not upset.
~*~
Greet him with salaams and diversify your greetings -
A hug or warm embrace that sings "I missed you, darling.",
A kiss on his forehead, soft pat or brief massaging,
A bashful smile or grin that paints how much you've missed him.
~*~
Don't disturb him if sleeping unless it's prayer time.
Remind him nicely when he doesn't do some things right.
Pay attention when he's talking. Look into his eyes.
Don't ruin his good mood by letting him see you cry.
~*~
So long as they're halal, if he has hobbies, give space.
Let him chill with his friends. Your turn's on another date.
When he returns tired, don't stress him nor investigate.
Allah has seen all and knows how to deal with His slaves.
~*~
What your husband wants, strive to give him. What he hates leave.
If he asks you to do chores, don't demand "First, say 'please'."
Serving him for Allah's sake proves you're a tough wifey,
Wise to fulfill your role and responsibilities.
~*~
Befriend his loved ones, specially those who brought him up.
Again when he speaks to you, don't try to interrupt.
The only time you can scold him is when he's corrupt.
Advise and correct him, while not giving up your love.
~*~
Don't be too demanding, yet encourage him always
To enhance his faith so he does well on Judgment Day.
Forgive his flaws and delays. Be strong enough to wait.
Respecting one's spouse in Islam has a lofty place.
~*~
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If I were to order anyone to prostrate to another, I would have ordered a wife to prostrate before her husband."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhī 1159
Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Al-Tirmidhi
Ali Al-Qari said, "That she prostrates to her husband is due to the number of his rights over her and her difficulty in maintaining gratitude for them. This rhetorical point conveys the obligation of the wife to obey her husband in his rights. Indeed, prostration is not lawful to anyone other than Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala."
Source: Mirqāt Al-Mafātīḥ 5/2125
Note: On Being The Husband's Loyal Wife
💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 A number of sisters in Islam have sent me messages on inbox complaining about their current marriage life, and each one is wondering if she should divorce her husband for seemingly not respecting her rights. I want to emphasize that while divorce is halal/lawful in Islam, it is something that satisfies shaytan because he feels accomplished for having destroyed the bond which Allah the Almighty destined and witnessed.
Divorcing your spouse and instantly giving up on them for worldly purposes indicate impatience, ingratitude and arrogantly refusing to understand their side or forgive your other half.
🔹I believe it is unreasonable for a woman to seek divorce if she wants her husband to grant her 'freedom' for:
1) ...marrying another woman, when it is the right of every capable Muslim man to be married to up to four wives in Islam. It is illogical to prohibit something that Allah the Most Wise permitted simply due to over-sensitivity, extreme attachment to your husband or selfish unwillingness to share him with another woman who could be a helpful family member to your household (not homewrecker).
2) ...losing his job or temporarily struggling with some financial problems.
3) ...being sent to jail or confined in a hospital.
4) ...being employed in a different city or country.
5) ...showing more affection to his mother than you.
🔹Divorce is reasonable if your husband:
1) ...is an alcoholic, drug addict or dangerous criminal who refuses to transform himself positively.
2) ...is deliberately abusive and intentionally neglecting you, treating you as though you don't exist, uninterested in communicating with you properly yet at the same time refusing to grant divorce.
3) ...is from a misguided sect that goes against the Sunnah of the beloved Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam or he knowingly commits bid'ah while insisting you to follow his misguided ways. If he insists on having incorrect belief or his 'Aqeedah is wrong, and he obstinately rejects your sincere advice for him to learn more about Islam, then you may ask for divorce if you think that doing so is the more logical thing to do.
4) ...does not allow you to visit your parents and family because he is too insecurely clingy, extremely jealous of even seeing you interact with your mahrams, and irrationally suspicious of your motives. Living with a husband who doesn't provide necessary space can cause your faith/Imaan to decrease. So in this case, it makes sense to leave him for Allah's sake to preserve your overall well-being.
5) ...expects you to be the breadwinner who takes care of the family's needs while he stays at home playing games, just chilling or being unappealingly unproductive.
Before considering asking for divorce, pray two Sunnah prayers of Salat Al-Istikhaarah then measure the pros and cons of being separated. If you can imagine yourself in the future sadly regretting divorcing him, then it is wiser to remain married to him for Allah's sake, strive to maintain rewarding patience and do whatever you can to strengthen the relationship, assertively talking to your husband about how to make things work between you two, and looking forward to helping one another reach Jannah Paradise together.
Also question yourself truthfully "Why did I marry him?". If you married your husband mainly for his money as if he is a walking ATM or bank account that is overloaded with cash every second, then expect to get disappointed when he experiences some financial struggles. Doing something solely for the benefit of enjoying temporal dunya eventually gets lost, damaged, cancelled, forgotten or dismissed.
Doing a good deed, like staying married with contentment and patience, sincerely to please Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala, regardless of how difficult or challenging it is, can become easy, worthwhile and manageable eventually.
Whether you choose to stay with the man whom Allah the Most Merciful decreed to be your husband, or you leave him to save your faith/Imaan for Allah, what matters is that your decision should bring you closer to Allah Subhaanhahu wa Ta'aala and your choice does not bring about any ounce of regret.
🔹Some of the disadvantages of divorcing your husband if somewhere inside your heart is apparent love for him:
1] Regretting your abrupt selection to seek divorce, especially if you see him around often online or offline, or you can't avoid meeting his relatives and seeing them always reminds you of him.
2] By divorcing your husband due to materialistic issues, you may find it very hard to remarry, since a lot of single men aren't comfortable at all with the idea of marrying a divorcee or previously married woman. Generally it is easy for a man, whether single or previously married to marry again, and more complicated for a divorced woman to receive marriage proposals.
3] It is better to be patient with your husband while your children still have a caring father than to be divorced and your ex-husband completely avoids your kids as he has own children from another woman he remarried.
4] If you have children and you get divorced, your kids are supposed to be with their father should you accept the marriage proposal of another guy. The father has more right to be with his children if their mother marries another man. Try to research on this if you are skeptical of its authenticity.
5] Would you rather please Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala by striving to be with the man whom He wisely selected as your soulmate? Or would you rather allow shaytan to joyfully celebrate your separation because he finally succeeded at whispering evil thoughts in you and your husband ultimately leading to disrupting what Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala planned (i.e. connecting you to your husband through marriage in the first place)?
Please note that I do not advocate marital abuse and spousal neglect in any way. I want to remind all wives that if you truly love your husband from the very start, you wouldn't easily give up on him, just as you wouldn't disown your own child for being disobedient or for carrying out some wrong actions. Steadfastly advise, help and guide your husband to fear Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala and patiently assist him to be upright. Blessed are those men who are married to pious Muslims wives.
You will Inn-sha-Allah be rewarded for striving to be your man's loyal and faithful wife, particularly in an era where many people don't value the concept of fierce loyalty, taking marriage lightly as a joke or cheap toy that can easily be thrown away anytime.
~*~
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If a woman prays her five prayers, fasts her month of Ramadan, guards her chastity, and obeys her husband, she will enter Paradise from any gate she wishes."
Source: Sahih Ibn Ḥibbān 4252
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If I were to order anyone to prostrate to another, I would have ordered a wife to prostrate before her husband."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhī 1159
Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Al-Tirmidhi
Ali Al-Qari said, "That she prostrates to her husband is due to the number of his rights over her and her difficulty in maintaining gratitude for them. This rhetorical point conveys the obligation of the wife to obey her husband in his rights. Indeed, prostration is not lawful to anyone other than Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala."
Source: Mirqāt Al-Mafātīḥ 5/2125
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The strong believer is more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.' Rather say: 'Allah has decreed what He wills.' Verily, the phrase ‘if only’ opens the way for the work of shaytan."
Source: Sahih Muslim 2664
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim
💌 A number of sisters in Islam have sent me messages on inbox complaining about their current marriage life, and each one is wondering if she should divorce her husband for seemingly not respecting her rights. I want to emphasize that while divorce is halal/lawful in Islam, it is something that satisfies shaytan because he feels accomplished for having destroyed the bond which Allah the Almighty destined and witnessed.
Divorcing your spouse and instantly giving up on them for worldly purposes indicate impatience, ingratitude and arrogantly refusing to understand their side or forgive your other half.
🔹I believe it is unreasonable for a woman to seek divorce if she wants her husband to grant her 'freedom' for:
1) ...marrying another woman, when it is the right of every capable Muslim man to be married to up to four wives in Islam. It is illogical to prohibit something that Allah the Most Wise permitted simply due to over-sensitivity, extreme attachment to your husband or selfish unwillingness to share him with another woman who could be a helpful family member to your household (not homewrecker).
2) ...losing his job or temporarily struggling with some financial problems.
3) ...being sent to jail or confined in a hospital.
4) ...being employed in a different city or country.
5) ...showing more affection to his mother than you.
🔹Divorce is reasonable if your husband:
1) ...is an alcoholic, drug addict or dangerous criminal who refuses to transform himself positively.
2) ...is deliberately abusive and intentionally neglecting you, treating you as though you don't exist, uninterested in communicating with you properly yet at the same time refusing to grant divorce.
3) ...is from a misguided sect that goes against the Sunnah of the beloved Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam or he knowingly commits bid'ah while insisting you to follow his misguided ways. If he insists on having incorrect belief or his 'Aqeedah is wrong, and he obstinately rejects your sincere advice for him to learn more about Islam, then you may ask for divorce if you think that doing so is the more logical thing to do.
4) ...does not allow you to visit your parents and family because he is too insecurely clingy, extremely jealous of even seeing you interact with your mahrams, and irrationally suspicious of your motives. Living with a husband who doesn't provide necessary space can cause your faith/Imaan to decrease. So in this case, it makes sense to leave him for Allah's sake to preserve your overall well-being.
5) ...expects you to be the breadwinner who takes care of the family's needs while he stays at home playing games, just chilling or being unappealingly unproductive.
Before considering asking for divorce, pray two Sunnah prayers of Salat Al-Istikhaarah then measure the pros and cons of being separated. If you can imagine yourself in the future sadly regretting divorcing him, then it is wiser to remain married to him for Allah's sake, strive to maintain rewarding patience and do whatever you can to strengthen the relationship, assertively talking to your husband about how to make things work between you two, and looking forward to helping one another reach Jannah Paradise together.
Also question yourself truthfully "Why did I marry him?". If you married your husband mainly for his money as if he is a walking ATM or bank account that is overloaded with cash every second, then expect to get disappointed when he experiences some financial struggles. Doing something solely for the benefit of enjoying temporal dunya eventually gets lost, damaged, cancelled, forgotten or dismissed.
Doing a good deed, like staying married with contentment and patience, sincerely to please Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala, regardless of how difficult or challenging it is, can become easy, worthwhile and manageable eventually.
Whether you choose to stay with the man whom Allah the Most Merciful decreed to be your husband, or you leave him to save your faith/Imaan for Allah, what matters is that your decision should bring you closer to Allah Subhaanhahu wa Ta'aala and your choice does not bring about any ounce of regret.
🔹Some of the disadvantages of divorcing your husband if somewhere inside your heart is apparent love for him:
1] Regretting your abrupt selection to seek divorce, especially if you see him around often online or offline, or you can't avoid meeting his relatives and seeing them always reminds you of him.
2] By divorcing your husband due to materialistic issues, you may find it very hard to remarry, since a lot of single men aren't comfortable at all with the idea of marrying a divorcee or previously married woman. Generally it is easy for a man, whether single or previously married to marry again, and more complicated for a divorced woman to receive marriage proposals.
3] It is better to be patient with your husband while your children still have a caring father than to be divorced and your ex-husband completely avoids your kids as he has own children from another woman he remarried.
4] If you have children and you get divorced, your kids are supposed to be with their father should you accept the marriage proposal of another guy. The father has more right to be with his children if their mother marries another man. Try to research on this if you are skeptical of its authenticity.
5] Would you rather please Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala by striving to be with the man whom He wisely selected as your soulmate? Or would you rather allow shaytan to joyfully celebrate your separation because he finally succeeded at whispering evil thoughts in you and your husband ultimately leading to disrupting what Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala planned (i.e. connecting you to your husband through marriage in the first place)?
Please note that I do not advocate marital abuse and spousal neglect in any way. I want to remind all wives that if you truly love your husband from the very start, you wouldn't easily give up on him, just as you wouldn't disown your own child for being disobedient or for carrying out some wrong actions. Steadfastly advise, help and guide your husband to fear Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala and patiently assist him to be upright. Blessed are those men who are married to pious Muslims wives.
You will Inn-sha-Allah be rewarded for striving to be your man's loyal and faithful wife, particularly in an era where many people don't value the concept of fierce loyalty, taking marriage lightly as a joke or cheap toy that can easily be thrown away anytime.
~*~
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If a woman prays her five prayers, fasts her month of Ramadan, guards her chastity, and obeys her husband, she will enter Paradise from any gate she wishes."
Source: Sahih Ibn Ḥibbān 4252
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If I were to order anyone to prostrate to another, I would have ordered a wife to prostrate before her husband."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhī 1159
Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Al-Tirmidhi
Ali Al-Qari said, "That she prostrates to her husband is due to the number of his rights over her and her difficulty in maintaining gratitude for them. This rhetorical point conveys the obligation of the wife to obey her husband in his rights. Indeed, prostration is not lawful to anyone other than Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala."
Source: Mirqāt Al-Mafātīḥ 5/2125
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The strong believer is more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.' Rather say: 'Allah has decreed what He wills.' Verily, the phrase ‘if only’ opens the way for the work of shaytan."
Source: Sahih Muslim 2664
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim
Hadith: Stay Patient With Your Husband.
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If a woman prays her five prayers, fasts her month of Ramadan, guards her chastity, and obeys her husband, she will enter Paradise from any gate she wishes."
Source: Sahih Ibn Ḥibbān 4252
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If I were to order anyone to prostrate to another, I would have ordered a wife to prostrate before her husband."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhī 1159
Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Al-Tirmidhi
Ali Al-Qari said, "That she prostrates to her husband is due to the number of his rights over her and her difficulty in maintaining gratitude for them. This rhetorical point conveys the obligation of the wife to obey her husband in his rights. Indeed, prostration is not lawful to anyone other than Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala."
Source: Mirqāt Al-Mafātīḥ 5/2125
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The strong believer is more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.' Rather say: 'Allah has decreed what He wills.' Verily, the phrase ‘if only’ opens the way for the work of shaytan."
Source: Sahih Muslim 2664
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim
Source: Sahih Ibn Ḥibbān 4252
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If I were to order anyone to prostrate to another, I would have ordered a wife to prostrate before her husband."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhī 1159
Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Al-Tirmidhi
Ali Al-Qari said, "That she prostrates to her husband is due to the number of his rights over her and her difficulty in maintaining gratitude for them. This rhetorical point conveys the obligation of the wife to obey her husband in his rights. Indeed, prostration is not lawful to anyone other than Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala."
Source: Mirqāt Al-Mafātīḥ 5/2125
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The strong believer is more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.' Rather say: 'Allah has decreed what He wills.' Verily, the phrase ‘if only’ opens the way for the work of shaytan."
Source: Sahih Muslim 2664
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim
Poem: I Am Just One Of Allah's Servants.
💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 Notes to self and reminders so fellow humans know
That we are Allah's servants and we're imperfect souls.
Tips on how to lessen pride and deflate our ego:
First, be teachable. Learn without letting your eyes roll.
~•~
See I'm not perfect, just like no other human is.
I get tired at times. Once in a while I require rest.
Like every other human I sneeze, excrete and sweat,
Misspell, fall over, misjudge, shed tears and get upset.
~•~
I'm not spoiled rich. Sometimes I shop with a low budget,
Frequently dealing with an empty fridge and wallet.
Nonetheless Allah guides me to pass financial tests.
Dunya's nothing compared to Jannah's eternal bliss.
~•~
In no way am I flawless. Many mistakes I've made,
A wide range of sins done in the past that trigger shame,
Numerous fights with those who cringe when they hear my name,
And moments when my heart would softly break or complain.
~•~
I'm awful at math and counting, not good at cooking,
Not fluent in some dialects, not that well-spoken,
Not a collector of branded clothes and fine items,
Not an expert in sports, climbing and public speaking.
~•~
So ego can decrease to increase self-improvement,
I remind myself of my flaws and imperfections,
Admit there's always someone else better at something,
To train contentment and prevent over-confidence.
~•~
Help others for Allah's sake to erase arrogance,
Study Islam and be willing to play with children,
Be kind to animals and stray cats, feed them often.
Serve Allah without looking down on His creation.
~•~
📖 Abdullah ibn Mas’ud RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "No one who has the weight of a seed of arrogance in his heart will enter Paradise." Someone said, “But a man loves to have beautiful clothes and shoes.” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, Allah is Beautiful and He loves beauty. Arrogance means rejecting the truth and looking down on people."
In another narration, the Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "No one who has the weight of a seed of faith in his heart will enter Hellfire."
Source: Sahih Muslim 91
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim
💌 Notes to self and reminders so fellow humans know
That we are Allah's servants and we're imperfect souls.
Tips on how to lessen pride and deflate our ego:
First, be teachable. Learn without letting your eyes roll.
~•~
See I'm not perfect, just like no other human is.
I get tired at times. Once in a while I require rest.
Like every other human I sneeze, excrete and sweat,
Misspell, fall over, misjudge, shed tears and get upset.
~•~
I'm not spoiled rich. Sometimes I shop with a low budget,
Frequently dealing with an empty fridge and wallet.
Nonetheless Allah guides me to pass financial tests.
Dunya's nothing compared to Jannah's eternal bliss.
~•~
In no way am I flawless. Many mistakes I've made,
A wide range of sins done in the past that trigger shame,
Numerous fights with those who cringe when they hear my name,
And moments when my heart would softly break or complain.
~•~
I'm awful at math and counting, not good at cooking,
Not fluent in some dialects, not that well-spoken,
Not a collector of branded clothes and fine items,
Not an expert in sports, climbing and public speaking.
~•~
So ego can decrease to increase self-improvement,
I remind myself of my flaws and imperfections,
Admit there's always someone else better at something,
To train contentment and prevent over-confidence.
~•~
Help others for Allah's sake to erase arrogance,
Study Islam and be willing to play with children,
Be kind to animals and stray cats, feed them often.
Serve Allah without looking down on His creation.
~•~
📖 Abdullah ibn Mas’ud RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "No one who has the weight of a seed of arrogance in his heart will enter Paradise." Someone said, “But a man loves to have beautiful clothes and shoes.” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, Allah is Beautiful and He loves beauty. Arrogance means rejecting the truth and looking down on people."
In another narration, the Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "No one who has the weight of a seed of faith in his heart will enter Hellfire."
Source: Sahih Muslim 91
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim
Note: Fasting On The 13th, 14th And 15th Of Every Month
💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 Today Thursday is the 12th of Shawwal.
Shawwal may Inn-sha-Allah end on Sunday June 21 depending on the moon sighting of the next month Dhul Qi'dah. So there are about 17 days remaining for you to fast the Sunnah fasting of six days in Shawwal after you've completed your obligatory fasting of Ramadan.
Tomorrow Friday Inn-sha-Allah (June 5) is the 13th of Sha'baan. It is another rewarding Sunnah to fast the 13th, 14th and 15th of each month.
A questioner on a Fatawa program previously asked sheikh Saleh Al-Fawzaan if we're allowed to combine two intentions for two different voluntary fasts when one's interest to fast six days of Shawwal coincides on the 13th, 14th and 15th. Can we continue fasting the six days of Shawwal and mix it with the intention to fast on the three white days (ayyaam al-beedh)? Accordingly it is much better to separate the intentions because fasting six days of Shawwal is different from fasting on those three special days. Furthermore why do you want to summarize doing some good deeds when it is possible to do them separately for additional rewards? Do you want your rewards of fasting those Sunnah fasts to reduce and be summarized in a similar manner?
What you can do is to first fast the 13th, 14th and 15th and then proceed with the six days fasting on the other upcoming days of Shawwal, especially since there are still several more days left.
If you have already started fasting the six days of Shawwal, say you're on your third or fourth day, pause the other days and try to fast on the 13th, 14th and 15th with the niyyah to fast on the three white days. Afterwards you can resume with the completion of the six days of Shawwal.
If you decide not to fast on the 13th, 14th and 15th, and instead skip them to fast the six days of Shawwal, it is also permissible, though you miss out on the immense rewards of fasting on the three white days.
If you still haven't started fasting the missed obligatory fasts, please start completing your fasting of Ramadan and patiently make effort to fast six days of Shawwal before Dhul Qi'dah comes.
Do whatever you believe can make you closer to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala without being an extremist or too hard on yourself. Remember that there are seven or eight levels in Jannah Paradise, not just one. The more good deeds you sincerely do for Allah's sake, the higher your station in Jannah with Allah's Mercy and the more you receive guidance and inspiration from Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala.
📖 Abu Ayyub RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever fasts the month of Ramadan and then follows it with six days of fasting in the month of Shawwal, it will be as if he fasted for the entire year."
Source: Sahih Muslim 1164
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim
📖 Abu Dharr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "O Abu Dharr, if you are going to fast three days of the month, then fast on the thirteenth, fourteenth, and fifteenth days."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 761
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani
https://abdurrahman.org/category/islam/optional-fasting/
💌 Today Thursday is the 12th of Shawwal.
Shawwal may Inn-sha-Allah end on Sunday June 21 depending on the moon sighting of the next month Dhul Qi'dah. So there are about 17 days remaining for you to fast the Sunnah fasting of six days in Shawwal after you've completed your obligatory fasting of Ramadan.
Tomorrow Friday Inn-sha-Allah (June 5) is the 13th of Sha'baan. It is another rewarding Sunnah to fast the 13th, 14th and 15th of each month.
A questioner on a Fatawa program previously asked sheikh Saleh Al-Fawzaan if we're allowed to combine two intentions for two different voluntary fasts when one's interest to fast six days of Shawwal coincides on the 13th, 14th and 15th. Can we continue fasting the six days of Shawwal and mix it with the intention to fast on the three white days (ayyaam al-beedh)? Accordingly it is much better to separate the intentions because fasting six days of Shawwal is different from fasting on those three special days. Furthermore why do you want to summarize doing some good deeds when it is possible to do them separately for additional rewards? Do you want your rewards of fasting those Sunnah fasts to reduce and be summarized in a similar manner?
What you can do is to first fast the 13th, 14th and 15th and then proceed with the six days fasting on the other upcoming days of Shawwal, especially since there are still several more days left.
If you have already started fasting the six days of Shawwal, say you're on your third or fourth day, pause the other days and try to fast on the 13th, 14th and 15th with the niyyah to fast on the three white days. Afterwards you can resume with the completion of the six days of Shawwal.
If you decide not to fast on the 13th, 14th and 15th, and instead skip them to fast the six days of Shawwal, it is also permissible, though you miss out on the immense rewards of fasting on the three white days.
If you still haven't started fasting the missed obligatory fasts, please start completing your fasting of Ramadan and patiently make effort to fast six days of Shawwal before Dhul Qi'dah comes.
Do whatever you believe can make you closer to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala without being an extremist or too hard on yourself. Remember that there are seven or eight levels in Jannah Paradise, not just one. The more good deeds you sincerely do for Allah's sake, the higher your station in Jannah with Allah's Mercy and the more you receive guidance and inspiration from Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala.
📖 Abu Ayyub RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever fasts the month of Ramadan and then follows it with six days of fasting in the month of Shawwal, it will be as if he fasted for the entire year."
Source: Sahih Muslim 1164
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim
📖 Abu Dharr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "O Abu Dharr, if you are going to fast three days of the month, then fast on the thirteenth, fourteenth, and fifteenth days."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 761
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani
https://abdurrahman.org/category/islam/optional-fasting/