Sunday, June 14, 2020

Note: Avoiding People Who Enjoy Backbiting

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 As a Muslim Alhamdulillah your aim in life is to do what pleases Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala so Jannah becomes your destiny. Anything that hinders, slows you down or prevents you from achieving your goal to enter Paradise must be stopped or avoided for Allah's sake completely. You can't be a pious Muslim if you constantly hang out with misguided youths who prefer succumbing to their desires and this dunya instead of striving to improve in the Deen. The kind of company you keep can reflect the type of person you are or want to be. So typically if you chill with gamers, druggies, gangsters, fashionistas, selfie-addicts, celeb-wannabes or gossipers, you may end up catching some of their traits or acting like them to some degree. Thus be very careful with regards to who you consider your closest friends.
People who find pleasure in mocking or backbiting about others are in reality cowards, who are so insecure or emotionally wounded that they feel desperate to pass on their misery unto the subjects of their gossipy discussions. If they were clever, confident and happy with themselves, they wouldn't demoralize their values by gaining others' sins and giving out their good deeds through sinful backbiting. Every time a person talks badly about you in your presence or absence, they simply prove they're jealous of you for having a good quality that they lack, while they receive the wrongdoings which you previously did and the rewards of their past good actions are added to your account of deeds. Therefore, don't feel bad when clowns or jokers backbite about you. Their gossip and ridicule clearly indicate how envious they are of you, as they can't stand seeing you doing well in front of them, so they cowardly insult you from behind.
Before ditching the friends whom you've been acquainted with for a long time, advise them sincerely and inform them about the prohibition of backbiting. Gossiping is a major sin because Allah the Most Merciful disallowed it, since those who indulge in gossip behave improperly as if Allah the All-Knowing isn't seeing them and hearing their immoral conversations, making fun of His creations as though they themselves don't have any imperfections of their own.
If your companions stubbornly refuse to take your advice into consideration, gladly gift them with your avoidance. Don't feel guilty about distancing yourself from whatever distances you from wanting to become a better Muslim. 
Bad friends can always be replaced by good ones eventually in the future. It's better to walk alone in the correct direction than to side with a large crowd heading towards trouble or they're making the wrong decision. In the end, our good deeds are what accompany us to our graves, not our family, friends nor famous reputation. So even if you don't have any close friends who can make you laugh often, what matters is the safety of your faith/Imaan and your good deeds aren't wasted, especially through backbiting other Muslims.
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated that Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, the most beloved to me are those of you with the best character, soft in nature, friendly and befriended. The most hateful of you to Allah are those who spread tale-bearing and gossip, who cause discord between loved ones, seeking misery for the innocent."
Source: Al-Mu’jam Al-Awsaṭ 7693
Grade: Hasan li ghayrihi (Fair due to external evidence) according to Al-Albani

Note: Tips On How To Detach From A "Crush"

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 Developing feelings for someone isn't always a choice. We don't get to choose who we fall in love with. While our emotions can't be controlled all the time, we have the ability and freewill to select our response to how we feel.
If you're angry at a person, you can either express your anger directly or passive-aggressively, or you can forget what they did, forgive and repress it. If you're sad about something, your sadness could lead to self-destructive actions, or it could inspire you to be patient and resort to saying Dhikr and supplications. When you find some people attractive, intense emotions could lead to intentional staring, checking them out whenever you're in the same room, flirting, stalking their social media accounts which intensifies your attraction and fantasizing about them. However if you have Taqwa (Fear of Allah Only) and your faith/Imaan is strong, you can willfully avoid anything that could lead to fitna even if your heart still desired them. You leave them for Allah's sake because your love for Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala is greater than satisfying your nafs, and you refuse to obey shaytan's whisperings.
The less you look at your crush or the less you see them, the more you'll forget about them and the romantic feelings for them gradually go away. So train yourself to be an expert at lowering your gaze. If some conversations are necessary with somebody whom you secretly admire; such as an ustadh/ustadha, salesperson, teacher, doctor or colleague; do your best to make the dialogue as brief as possible, avoid speaking with a flirtatious tone, and don't look straight into their eyes for prolonged periods. Gazing into each other's eyes with mutual lust or passion is often what makes people fall in love with one another.
Other ways to detach yourself from a potential haraam affair include: Keeping yourself busy with reading from the Noble Qur'an, saying Dhikr and Du'as regularly, reminding yourself of the evil consequences of zina/fornication/adultery, studying more about Islam to strengthen your faith/Imaan, and fasting more Sunnah fasts to discipline your nafs. Also remember that this world and its pleasures are temporary. Don't sacrifice eternal peace in Jannah Paradise for a few minutes of prohibited fun that results in regret from choosing to fail an examination.
📖 “The eye is the mirror of the heart, so if the slave lowers his gaze, the heart will lower its desires and whims, and if he lets his gaze wander, the desire in his heart will be released.”
Imam Ibn Al-Qayyim [May Allah have mercy on him. Ameen.]
[Rawdat Al-Muhibbīn, (p. 109)]