💌 "Do you regret marrying the man you're with today?" if I were asked that question, I'd say let's go way back to my teenage years in Saudi Arabia, when I rejected all the marriage proposals I got from several interested suitors, one of them being a childhood friend whom I used to play with when we were kids in Dammam and Al-Khobar, and another from a pious Pakistani family, whom we befriended through frequent attendance of regularly held Islamic lectures at WAMY (World Assembly Of Muslim Youth). The main reason why I declined each proposal was my inability to see the value of marriage at a young age; I figured I wasn't ready at all to move in with another guy and start a family at fifteen to eighteen years old. I was also suffering from anorexia and bulimia back then, for almost three consecutive years, which temporarily prevented me from thinking logically. The complicated phase I was in with eating disorders contributed to my indecisiveness, uncontrollable mood swings and "teenage angst".
Since I was a rebelliously unruly teen back in the days who showed loads of enthusiasm in trying out wild feats for the sake of temporary fun, my beloved parents didn't allow me to travel abroad for college. Instead, they had me taking online studies to major in Islamic education. Alhamdulillah although as a Muslimah I still have so much more to discover and learn, I'm grateful to Allah for guiding me to repent, study Islam and realize the value of marriage as well as patience. After completing my online studies, my parents encouraged me to marry my cousin who was then pursuing a course in medicine. In the beginning I refused, making as many excuses as I could, such as 'but he's my cousin!' and 'if he's a medical doctor he won't have enough time for me and our family' until Allah inspired me to patiently submit to His plan and decision. Through this marriage Alhamdulillah I wasn't an anorexic-bulimic anymore as my husband played a huge role in building up my self-esteem and overcoming certain insecurities. Another factor that led me to being unconditionally in love with him is his admirable tolerance regarding my overall weird personality, quirky habits and imperfections. He particularly intrigues me when he manages to cheer me up and make me laugh on stressful days. As for the sleepless nights when I usually stay awake, anxiously wondering how my husband's doing when he works far away, my faith/Imaan would be strengthened every time I say my heartfelt du'as and supplicate. Upon noticing various couples demonstrate their affection to one another in public, instantly I recall my husband and with much devotion, my loyalty to him only increases. In every instant of missing my significant other, I find patience followed by comforting gratitude when I cherish our worthwhile memories and romantic gestures from my dear husband. If Sabr (patience) and Shukr (gratitude) are noteworthy qualities that are constantly developing in your marriage, then accept the fact that your bond is Inn-sha-Allah an enormous blessing, more so if staying married protects you from indulging in prohibited relations. Alhamdulillah I don't have any remorse, not one bit, in marrying my spouse, because I married him solely for Allah's sake, and especially to complete the other half of my Deen. My husband I believe is Allah's response after I sincerely prayed Salat Al-Istikhaara years ago prior to agreeing to be his first wife. Thus, I refuse to quit loving him for Allah's sake until Allah takes one of our souls away. When you truly love your other half, age, weight and distance are just numbers. Even if you may not always spend quality time with your spouse in daylight nor sleep beside him in bed each night, with Allah's Will just as He was capable of connecting you strangers to become husband and wife, He can reunite lovers again in Jannah Paradise with eternal delight.
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The strong believer is more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.' Rather say: "Allah has decreed what He wills." Verily, the phrase ‘if only’ opens the way for the work of shaytan."
Source: Sahih Muslim 2664
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim
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