Tips: When To Reject And When To Accept The Marriage Proposal Of A Muslim Man Who Is Already Married?

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

🗒️ Nine instances when you have a right to reject a marriage proposal from a married guy: 

1] If you see yourself eagerly planning to replace his first wife through sorcery (note: practicing black magic / witchcraft is a major sin which Muslims must avoid) or gradual efforts to convince the man to leave his first wife. 

2] If there's another Muslim who already spoke to your parents or guardians regarding his willingness to marry you, and his current status is single. It may be better to accept the marriage proposal of one who has never been married previously than become somebody's second wife while being seen by some individuals as a "homewrecker". 

3] If you are aware that the man proposing is financially struggling with many debts and a large family to care for. You don't want to be an additional problem when he still has lots of problems to solve. 

4] If you, without a doubt, can guarantee or confirm that you and his first wife won't get along, because of previous misunderstandings or the clear differences in your attitude and personalities bring about conflict. 

5] If the only ones who are enthusiastic about you marrying the guy are his first wife, his relatives, and your family. It is better to remain single, waiting for a sincere spouse in this world or in Jannah Paradise, than to dutifully wed a man whose main reason for marrying you is to modify your marital status or fill the "empty space" which your late husband or ex-husband left.

6] If the guy's belief / 'Aqeedah is different from yours, if he's guilty of bid'ah, or it is known that he was involved in multiple crimes which shouldn't have anything to do with you. 

7] If you're okay with accepting the guy's marriage proposal but his first wife happens to be your sister, half-sister, or foster sister. You can marry your sister's husband only after she has passed away, not during her lifetime. Allah the Almighty knows best. 

8] If the guy proposing requests you to do whatever you can to ensure the wedding is kept as a secret, afraid that his first wife may find out. Better to offer food regularly to stray cats that are still scared of you than spend your future with a coward. 

9] If you sense that the man is pursuing you mainly because his first wife is infertile, and he can't promise that he'll try his best to treat all his wives as fairly as he can. What if he files for divorce after you give birth to some children and he takes custody of the kids while he keeps his first wife?

✅ When can you say yes to a married man's marriage proposal?

1] If you've prayed two Sunnah Rak'ahs of Salat Al-Istikhaara, carefully analyzed the pros and cons of marrying the guy, and you feel ready to be his second wife without regret, and without any intention to separate the man from his first wife.

2] If you admire the man's strong faith/Imaan and pleasant personality, while his first wife made it very clear that she's okay with him marrying you, and they're not going through financial difficulties. 

3] If you have been single for many years and this marriage proposal is the first ever you've received. Maybe it is a response from Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala to one of your frequent supplications. Pray two Rak'ahs of Salat Al-Istikhaara before finalizing your decision.

~•~ 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If someone proposes marriage to you whose religion and character satisfies you, then you should accept it. If you do not do so, there will be trials on the earth and the spread of corruption."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1084

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 

📖 Thawban RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The best wealth is a tongue that remembers Allah, a grateful heart, and a believing wife to help one in his faith."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 3094

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/poem-patience-for-allahs-sake-can.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/note-my-answer-to-what-made-you-accept.html

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/11/poem-from-signs-of-pious-wives-is-they.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/note-seven-misconceptions-about.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/06/note-some-notes-concerning-polygyny.html 

Note: There's Always A Reason Why Allah The Most Wise Doesn't Want Us To Reconcile With Some People From Our Past

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 If you've gone through a friendship breakup in your life or there are several individuals whom you're no longer on good terms with, you may have stumbled upon an ex-friend's comments, status updates, or noticed content which reminded you of them, while browsing around some social networking websites. Maybe you found yourself wondering why Allah the Almighty destined that you'd encounter such people who'd reject your sincere apology or whom you wouldn't want back in to your circle. You probably don't wish to reconcile with them due to the awful lies they've told against you, after you discovered their true colors and toxic personality, or you lost interest in strengthening your connection once you got tired of being the only one reaching out. 

It's a different story if that ex-friend is the one who quit on you, unfriended you, or added you to their list of blocked users, and adamantly declined your request to reconnect. 

📝 While being at the receiving end of a broken friendship can seem unfair or confusing, it becomes a blessing in disguise when you learn some worthwhile lessons: 

1] We can't force anybody on earth to stay friends with us, since all human beings have freewill to make their own decisions according to what they perceive is right. A feral cat which you find in the park or streets may not approach you, despite desperate efforts to grab its attention, if it can't see that you clearly have something valuable to offer or they speculate you're a serious threat to their overall well-being.

2] Oftentimes we may desire to keep or obtain something, but Allah the Most Wise decrees that we're unable to achieve what we want, because Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala knows about all of the disadvantages and possible dangers of keeping or attaining what we think is good for us. A toddler may snatch a packet of cigarettes from a store assuming that it's something they can enjoy, when in actuality the cigars bring more demerits than benefit. 

3] From every quarrel, falling-out, and separation we've had with those whom we thought could be potential friends, we are reminded to trust and depend only on Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala, instead of clinging to any of Allah's servants who are full of defects, shortcomings, and imperfections like ourselves. Our mistakes, along with the faults of ex-friends, further teach us what we should avoid in the future, so 

Inn-sha-Allah we don't repeat them with other humans whom Allah the Most Kind planned we'd meet.

~•~

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The strong believer is more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.’ Rather say: "Allah has decreed what He wills.” Verily, the phrase ‘if only’ opens the way for the work of shaytan."

Source: Sahih Muslim 2664

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/poem-what-friendship-breakups-teach-us.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/poem-patiently-let-go-of-former-friends.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/09/poem-to-my-ex-best-friend-wherever-she.html