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🗒️ Question: If a Muslimah prayed two Sunnah Rak'ahs of Salat Al-Istikhaara before accepting the marriage proposal of a Muslim who seems likable to both of her parents, but then after some time of being together she discovered that her husband has a bad temper and another wife with kids, what is the point of praying Salat Al-Istikhaara if this woman starts feeling regretful about her decision?
📝 Answer: Allah the Almighty knows best.
This woman will Inn-sha-Allah receive rewards for striving to follow the Sunnah of the beloved Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam in praying Salat Al-Istikhaara prior to making important choices. Praying Salat Al-Istikhaara does not mean that whatever you decide to pursue or forgo will always be followed by outcomes which are completely devoid of defects and trials. When you pray Salat Al-Istikhaara, you're asking Allah the Almighty for guidance and reassurance. As long as you are alive on this imperfect planet earth, you as well as every other human being will not be exempted from Allah's occasional tests and challenges to examine the strength of your faith Imaan and to check if you indeed deserve a special ranking in the afterlife. Even Allah's Prophets 'alaihim as-salaam went through various difficulties occasionally.
Praying Salat Al-Istikhaara before enthusiastically or willingly agreeing to a Muslim's proposal does not guarantee a one hundred percent flawlessly "happy marriage life" but you're entrusting your affairs to Allah the Most Wise whilst hoping that you're making the most ideal choice which brings you closer to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala and Jannah Paradise.
Maybe Allah the All-Seeing wanted you to become this man's first or second wife so that you, with Allah's Will, can inspire your spouse to become a better Muslim, so that by striving to love your other half sincerely for Allah's sake you earn countless rewards for your steadfast patience, and eventually you're qualified to motivate other Muslim wives to likewise remain grateful and patient throughout marriage.
Don't allow our archenemy shaytan to destroy the blessed connection which Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala destined. Stop comparing your unique journey to other couples' love stories. The strategies which you can utilize to strengthen your marriage with your husband may not necessarily work out well for every other married individual.
Ostriches and penguins can't be described as utter failures just because they are flightless birds. Nocturnal animals are not "useless" if they sleep a lot during daytime. Although a woman's husband may get irritated easily at times, she shouldn't deny the fact that he also has a lovable side and there are actually numerous aspects about him which she admires, such as his ambitiousness at work, physical strength and his eagerness to maintain strong ties with his relatives.
By setting a good example
Inn-sha-Allah, generously sharing her knowledge of Islam with her husband whenever he's available to listen, and regularly mentioning her husband's name in her loving prayers, gradually, little by little, she can observe some positive changes in her chosen soulmate.
Your husband is Inn-sha-Allah an enormous blessing for you if through this marriage you've learned to become:
1] More patient.
2] More forgiving.
3] More tolerant and understanding.
4] More eager to strive for eternal joy in Jannah Paradise and less attached to this fleeting dunya.
5] More aware of your actual purpose in life and less egoistic.
6] More generous in many ways or less selfish through courageously accepting polygyny for Allah's sake.
7] Motivated to inspire other Muslim wives to not give up on a marriage which can train us to love Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala much more than our nafs.
Consistently remind yourself that
Inn-sha-Allah the absolutely perfect version of your husband can be fully enjoyed in Jannah Paradise.
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📖 Sa'd Ibn Abi Waqqas RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: I said, “O Messenger of Allah, which of the people are most severely tested?” The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "They are the prophets, then the next best (in terms of piety/righteousness), then the next best. A man is put to trial according to his Deen/religion. If he is firm in his religion, his trials will be more severe (challenging). If he is weak in his religion, he is put to trial according to his strength in religion. The servant will continue to be put to trial until he is left walking upon the earth without any sin."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2398
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If a woman prays her five prayers, fasts her month of Ramadan, guards her chastity, and obeys her husband, she will enter Paradise from any gate she wishes."
Source: Sahih Ibn Hibbān 4252
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani
📖 Abdullah Ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The world is enjoyment and the best enjoyment in the world is a righteous wife."
Source: Sahih Muslim 1467
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim
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