💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
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🗒️ Question: As an INTJ-A personality type, how often are you talkative?
📝 Answer: I recall a Palestinian friend back in Riyadh city Saudi Arabia telling me, while I was writing some notes in the classroom, something like "I wish you spoke more as much as you write" or "MashaAllah. You write a lot. I wish you talked more, Mariam." and at a different school (Manaraat Ar-Riyadh) I remember one seemingly extroverted classmate jokingly complaining, when she was instructed to change seats, about how it'd be incredibly boring to sit between me and another girl since she and I were both silent most of the time.
Nowadays if it seems to some individuals that I'm "talkative", it would be due to the fact I'm asking several questions to gather information from those who I am talking to, either because I'm genuinely interested in getting to know them at a deeper level, instead of sticking to my own assumptions about them, or I'm trying to evaluate how authentic and relatable they are so I could
Inn-sha-Allah consider building a connection with them that's hopefully worthwhile.
🚫 From the factors which would cause me to seem quiet, distant and aloof:
1] If the person who is speaking with me is somebody whom I regard as untrustworthy and unreliable. It can be difficult to think of what to say, besides asking them "how are you?" and commenting on the weather, when I'm around individuals who can't be trusted.
2] If there's at least one individual at a gathering, outing or meeting whom I despise for Allah's sake, or whose vibes bring discomfort, or they're not a mahram and there's an obvious language barrier. For example, Alhamdulillah I can be rather chatty with my dear husband, but if we're traveling to a faraway destination say from one city to another, and at the front next to the seat where my husband is driving happens to be one of his male cousins or colleagues, I would refrain from chatting unless there's a necessity to speak or ask questions.
3] If it is clear that the individuals who are talking to me enjoy gossip and discussing people's personal issues, I would be extra cautious regarding the kind of info I'd share with them.
4] If I'm preoccupied with multiple tasks and busy doing what I can to complete a number of projects etc. I would minimize small talk and unnecessary interactions, particularly with those who aren't close to me.
5] If there's too much noise and/or there are many distractions at a social event, I would appear mostly quiet and use my cellphone a lot more frequently than initiating vague, incomprehensible or regularly interrupted dialogues.
6] Sharing positive feedback or going out of my way to compliment someone isn't something I would do enthusiastically if I dislike a particular individual (for Allah's sake and with valid reasons) or what they're wearing or doing doesn't really intrigue me.
7] If I can sense that the person interacting with me is awfully insecure and has a tendency to get all jealous of others' lives, I would avoid prolonging conversations with them as much as possible.
✅ At times I may put effort in keeping a conversation going and asking a person lots of questions with concern and genuine curiosity:
🔹 ...if I can tell that the individual whom I'm talking to feels at ease in my presence as much as I feel safe near them, which very seldom occurs.
🔹 ...if I truly care about them for Allah's sake while busyness doesn't prevent me from wanting to talk to them longer.
🔹 ...if we're in an area that isn't too noisy, say at a cozy halal restaurant, and none of the individuals who I'm meeting up with that time is someone who gives off bad energy (from feeling envious, doubting my intentions, or consistently reminding me of the mistake they did which they didn't straightforwardly apologize for etc.).
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📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him speak goodness or remain silent. Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him honor his neighbor. Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him honor his guest."
In another narration, the Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Let him not harm his neighbor."
And in another narration, the Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Let him uphold family ties."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5672
Sahih Muslim 47
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim
📖 Abu Umamah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever loves for the sake of Allah, hates for the sake of Allah, gives for the sake of Allah, and withholds for the sake of Allah has perfected the faith (Imaan)."
Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4681
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani