Wednesday, January 18, 2023

Note: Why Many INTJs And INFJs Don't Have Long-lasting Friendships

πŸ’ In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

πŸ“ Three reasons why most INTJs (and a number of INFJs) may find some difficulty at times to maintain long-lasting friendships and why a lot of us are okay with not being "popular": 
1] INTJs are generally very goal-oriented. 
If an individual's presence is too toxic or so negative for us that they become like an intolerable obstacle to any of our goals, we won't hesitate to gradually distance ourselves from their bad vibes or instantly disconnect from them (online, in real life and emotionally) without necessarily informing them about our detachment the moment we realized they consistently distract us from our values... unless, in my case, they are part of my family then I try to maintain patience with all my relatives as much as possible. 
2] Most INTJs can be astoundingly supportive and fiercely loyal when they truly connect with someone whose temperament, communication style and main mission in life resonate with theirs. 
We don't want to show loyalty to the wrong person nor waste our emotions on meaningless causes or inauthentic and untrustworthy individuals.
3] Excessive socializing can sometimes be draining for many INTJ/INFJ personality types, particularly if we must pretend (out of courtesy) to like certain souls whom we don't gravitate towards. This is why we introverts tend to select our close friends carefully and with a purpose. 
Having more friends - actual friends, not mere acquaintances or neighbors - could entail more obligations, more responsibilities and more loved ones to worry about and check on regularly. A lot of INTJs can be satisfied with even one friend on earth, even if that "kindred spirit" happens to be their spouse, parent, sibling, cousin or aunt. 
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πŸ“– Abu Umamah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever loves for the sake of Allah, hates for the sake of Allah, gives for the sake of Allah, and withholds for the sake of Allah has perfected the faith (Imaan)."
Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4681
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 
πŸ“– Abu Musa RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, the parable (similitude, example) of a good companion and a bad companion is that of a seller of musk and a blacksmith. The seller of musk will give you some perfume, you will buy some, or you will notice a good smell (pleasant scent). As for the blacksmith, he will burn your clothes or you will notice a bad smell."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5534, Sahih Muslim 2628
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim
πŸ“– Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A man is upon the religion of his best friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2378
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Nawawi
➡️ Some MBTI and cognitive functions test with more accurate results:
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https://personalitylingo.com/free-communication-style-quiz/
https://personalitylingo.com/thinker-communication-style/