💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
🗒️ Question: As an INTJ-A personality type, what would you do if some of your friends were frequently communicating online and then agreed to meet up one day, but when that day arrived they failed to show up and despite several attempts to reach out to them, they weren't responsive, although I notice them updating their social media accounts regularly?
📝 Answer: Allah the Almighty knows best. If you've known those friends for more than seven years while you firmly believe that they matter to you a lot, and you all reside in the same city, you could try paying them a surprise visit one by one and then ask them politely why they haven't responded to your messages in a long time. Maybe they're extremely sensitive and got offended by a number of your recent online posts and they lack the courage to confront you about what upset them.
On the other hand, if they're merely acquaintances or colleagues who have never been on outings with you more than twice and until now you doubt their reliability, their sudden disappearance or decision to disconnect shouldn't impact you negatively. Rather it should remind you that the people whom we meet on earth, with Allah's Will, are all temporary and not every single one of those who regard themselves as friends of yours is guaranteed to stick by you until the Day of Judgment, particularly if your objectives in life are too different.
After attempting to contact those who suddenly discontinued chatting with you at most three times, simply detach yourself from them as well and quit stalking their Facebook timelines, pages and Instagram accounts etc. Why bother forcing yourself to pay attention to cowardly individuals who are obviously doing whatever they can to flee from you? Don't play "Tag, you're it!" with someone who doesn't want to play the game. Respect yourself enough to courageously walk away for Allah's sake from anybody who's too scared or too distracted to reciprocate your kindness, and avoid anything that fails to enhance your Imaan/faith.
Patiently accept Allah's Qadr/Destiny and know that there is always wisdom in Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala deciding who you get to network with and who are temporarily passing by as agents to train you in strengthening your capacity for desisting from sins.
If Allah the Most Wise decrees that you encounter those "former friends" again in the future, don't treat them in an inhumane way. Maintain your good manners for Allah's sake even in their presence while putting some distance, because you refuse to befriend prideful narcissists with a lousy tendency to vanish in the midst of conversation then reappearing as their gargantuan ego compels them to enjoy being chased. It makes them feel so obnoxiously "superior" when others shamefully beg for their "highly sought-after" approval.
The only time you can consider reconnecting with a friend who's been silent or absent for a lengthy period is when they clearly explain to you the reasons behind their inability to respond to your messages in the past while overall you view them as righteous friends who inspire you to become a better Muslimah, and arrogantly refusing to reconcile could result in regret on both sides.
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📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The believer is not stung twice from the same hole."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5782
Sahih Muslim 2998
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A man is upon the religion of his close friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2378
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Nawawi
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Love whom you love moderately, perhaps he will become hateful to you someday. Hate whom you hate moderately, perhaps he will become your beloved friend someday."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1997
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani