Saturday, July 15, 2023

Tips: So What If They Didn't Invite Me? At Least I Don't Have To Put Up With Their Gossip And Meaningless Convos

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ Question: As an introverted intuitive (INTJ-A), what's your usual reaction when you discover that some mutual acquaintances or family members are about to attend a gathering which you were not invited to?
📝 Answer: 1] If the host of the social event or gathering is a person whom I genuinely care about and like for Allah's sake, I'd ask one of the invitees, as well as the host directly, if it's okay for me to join them. If they make it clear that I can go, then 
Inn-sha-Allah I'd tag along, and if I can sense that they're uncomfortable with me going, then Alhamdulillah I'd gladly keep my distance, respecting their choice of not including me in their activities which Allah the Most Wise obviously didn't destine for me.
2] If the person hosting the event is a complete stranger or somebody whom I'm not interested in befriending, then I won't bother approaching the invitees with questions like "Why didn't you tell me about this?", "How come they didn't invite me?" Or "Do you think it would be a nice surprise for them if I accompany you?" etc. Instead of unnecessarily worrying about why I wasn't invited, I'd patiently accept the fact that: 
1•) Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala did not decree that I'd attend their gathering. Additionally it's an actual blessing that I am not part of such event if it involves fitna, ridiculous gossiping and silly attempts to make each other jealous to soothe subtle insecurities.
2•) The hosts and I aren't closely associated or familiar with one another, so it makes sense that I wouldn't be part of their list of guests to invite, particularly if we haven't spoken to each other in a long time or most of our conversations feel awfully artificial.
3•) All in all, their goals, temperament and interests most likely differ from mine. I would also refrain from inviting certain individuals to a project or group activity if their values oppose what I value.
3] Since I wasn't directly invited to their gathering, I would avoid stalking the social media posts and uploads of the hosts who didn't include me and similarly respect myself enough to stay away from browsing around any online content of those who attended the event without me. No benefit can be gained from acting like a snoop or nosy spy obnoxiously prying into issues which do not concern him at all. 
4] Imagine the disadvantages of attending their gathering including unwillingly pretending to listen to meaningless dialogues and putting up with the pointless bragging or fibbing of selfish narcissists. 
5] Acknowledge the truth that I'm not the only soul in this whole universe who has been purposely excluded or viewed as the "outcast" or "weirdo". Oftentimes it's one of Allah's tests that He surrounds you with inwardly sorrowful, insecure or narcissistic people whose envious grudge against you compels them to do whatever they can to demotivate you because your strong faith Imaan and connection with Allah the Most Loving, or your beautiful heart and lofty aspirations remind them of their dissatisfaction with themselves.
~•~
📖 Suhayb RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Amazing is the affair of the believer, as there is good for him in every matter. This is not the case for anyone but for the (true Muslim) believer. If he goes through ease (or happy moments), he thanks Allah (The Almighty) and it is good for him. If he goes through difficulty, he shows patience and it is good for him."
Source: Sahih Muslim 2999
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The strong believer is more beloved to Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala) than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah (The Almighty), and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.' Rather say: "Allah has decreed what He (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala) wills." Verily, the phrase ‘if only’ opens the way for the work of shaytan."
Source: Sahih Muslim 2664
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim