Friday, December 18, 2020

Tips: How A Pious Wife Reacts When Her Husband Wishes To Remarry

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 If your husband works in the medical field, say as a doctor or dentist, undoubtedly he'll be surrounded by female patients and colleagues once in a while. Similarly, an eloquent speaker who is active in the field of Da'wah would unintentionally attract the attention of women who admire his proficiency, determination in sharing his Islamic knowledge, or even his handsomeness.

It is also possible for some females to express their interest in marrying a married man, not necessarily to be known as "the other woman" or "notorious homewrecker", but they genuinely believe he's "the most idealistic one" for them. His visibly noteworthy qualities such as his charisma in teaching others about Islam, admirable productivity in publishing Islamic writings, and his compassion for his family could be from the many reasons why they found him attractive.

As for the woman who tries to approach a guy whom she knows is happily married, instead of automatically considering her as a threat or troublemaker, we can assume that she probably wasn't strong enough to control her feelings of attraction.

Rather than instantly accusing her husband of infidelity and the other woman of unjustly interfering in an already stable marriage, a righteous Muslim wife would see this as a beautiful opportunity to level up her connection with Allah the Almighty. Since she cares enough about her husband to not want him involved in a haraam relationship, she encourages him to make that affair halal through a second marriage if he is unable to stop all forms of contact with her.

Accepting Allah's Qadr/Decree in permitting Muslim men to be married to up to four wives doesn't reduce the love which a loyal, grateful, devoted, strong and patient wife has for her husband.

🌻 The following are a few tips for the wife who discovers that her husband wishes to remarry or he recently reconnected with a former "girlfriend" from his high school or college days:

1] Advise him on Taqwa, his obligations to Allah the Most Wise, his responsibilities to his family, the importance of lowering one's gaze, and the need to abstain from unnecessarily mingling with non-mahram females.

2] Don't impulsively threaten him with divorce if he doesn't leave the other woman. Ask him questions that could bring him back to his senses like "Are you truly in love with this lady? Or are you only playing with her heart, as though it's a toy that you entertain yourself with anytime you like? If you adore her that much, would you be willing to take her as your second wife and promise to treat us as fairly as you can for Allah's sake? Or should you get another job and we move to a different city so our marriage life isn't ruined by a temporary distraction?"

3] Remind your husband that you still love him for Allah's sake, and since your love for Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala is a lot greater than your affection towards your spouse, you're totally fine if he is wed to multiple wives. Just noticing how you won't easily give up on him can make him feel undeniably guilty on the inside, and he may either forget about the other woman, so you're his only legal wife, or he remarries, tries his utmost to take good care of his womenfolk for Allah's sake, and persistently shows gratitude to Allah the Most Merciful for being blessed with you as his first wife.

~•~

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If a woman prays her five prayers, fasts her month of Ramadan, guards her chastity, and obeys her husband, she will enter Paradise from any gate she wishes."

Source: Sahih Ibn Ḥibbān 4252

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If I were to order anyone to prostrate to another, I would have ordered a wife to prostrate before her husband."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1159

Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to At-Tirmidhi

Ali Al-Qari said, "That she prostrates to her husband is due to the number of his rights over her and her difficulty in maintaining gratitude for them. This rhetorical point conveys the obligation of the wife to obey her husband in his rights. Indeed, prostration is not lawful to anyone other than Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala."

Source: Mirqāt Al-Mafātīḥ 5/2125

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "If a man has two wives and he is not just between them, he will come on the Day of Resurrection with one of his sides collapsed."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1141

Grade: Sahih

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "The most complete of believers in faith are those with the best character, and the best of you are the best in behavior to their women."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1162

Grade: Sahih

📖 Abdullah ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The world is enjoyment and the best enjoyment in the world is a righteous wife."

Source: Sahih Muslim 1467

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim

Hadith: On The Du'a And Supplications Of The Oppressed

📖 Mu’adh ibn Jabal RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam sent me to Yemen and he said, "Verily, you are going to people among the people of the Book, so call them to testify there is no God but Allah and I am the Messenger of Allah. If they accept that, then teach them that Allah has obligated five prayers in each day and night. If they accept that, then teach them that Allah has obligated charity to be taken from the rich and given to the poor. If they accept that, then beware not to take from the best of their wealth. Fear the supplication of the oppressed, for there is no barrier between it and Allah."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 4090

Sahih Muslim 19

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

📖 Khuzaymah ibn Thabit RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Beware of the supplication of the oppressed, for it is carried above the clouds. Allah the Almighty says: 'By My Might and Majesty, I will help you in due time.'"

Source: Al-Mu’jam Al-Kabīr 3630

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

📖 Ibn Umar RadhiAllahu 'anhuma narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Beware of the supplication of the oppressed, for it ascends to Allah as if it were a flare."

📖 Ibn Abbas RadhiAllahu 'anhuma narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Two supplications have no barrier between them and Allah: The supplication of the oppressed, and the supplication of a man for his brother behind his back."

Source: Al-Mu’jam Al-Kabīr 11232

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Suyuti

📖 Abu Darda RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, when a servant curses something, the curse ascends to the heaven and the gates of heaven close upon it. It turns right and left and if it does not find a place to go, it will return to that which was cursed, only if it deserved to be cursed; otherwise the curse will return upon the one who uttered it."

Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4905

Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Al-Albani

Poem: Be Grateful To Allah And Avoid Social Comparison

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 Why be jealous of someone who displays confidence, 

When Allah the Almighty is the One Who grants strength?

Beneath their charisma are resilience from moments 

That scared them, embarrassment, insults and rejection, 

And efforts in researching helpful information.

~•~

Why resent a person's commercial accomplishments, 

Assuming they don't deserve the income that they earn?

The wealth they spend are from the tests which Allah gave them.

Their success in business is what Allah has destined, 

Through trust in Allah, through Du'as, hope and persistence.

~•~

Why envy those whom Allah granted many children?

The process of having kids isn't an easy thing.

Why begrudge a wife who demonstrates her affection 

To her husband often when that's her way of coping 

With polygyny's trials and her soulmate's absence?

~•~

Why question or suspect another Muslim's talents, 

When the gifts they utilize are by Allah given, 

Their skills are enhanced through regular application, 

Lessened hours of sleep to learn with enthusiasm, 

And patience when they deal with scorn or criticism.

~•~

Why envy other humans filled with imperfections, 

Worries, insecurities and tons of shortcomings?

Don't undermine yourself through social comparison.

Be happy for others. Be grateful for your blessings.

Accept Allah's Qadr patiently, as a Muslim.

~•~

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Beware of envy, for it devours good deeds just as fire devours wood or grass."

Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4903

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Suyuti

📖 Anas Ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Envy consumes good deeds just as fire burns wood. Charity (Sadaqah) extinguishes sinful deeds just as water extinguishes fire. Prayer is the light of the believer and fasting is his shield from the Hellfire."

Source: Sunan Ibn Mājah 4210

Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Ibn Asakir

📖 Abdullah Ibn Mas’ud RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "There is no envy but in two cases: A man whom Allah has given wealth and he spends it rightly, and a man whom Allah has given wisdom and he judges and teaches with it."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 73

Sahih Muslim 816

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

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