💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
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📜 Question: What advice can you give to every Muslimah so she can stay calm and chill like you if ever her husband expresses his willingness to remarry, or what's your secret to not feeling bothered at all when you discovered that you became your husband's first wife?
📝 Answer: Allah the Almighty knows best.
1💟 Always remember that the actual and main goal of our life isn't to construct a seemingly "flawless" relationship with any human being but to sincerely strive to please and worship only our Creator and True God Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala. We're not here on earth to pamper our desires and keep our ego satisfied but we were created by Allah the Almighty to worship just Him Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala by trying our best to obey His Commands, avoid what He prohibited, and patiently accept what He legislated and permitted including allowing responsible and capable Muslim men to be married to up to four wives. As Allah's servants, we try our utmost to comply with His Orders and legislations instead of arrogantly and openly defying them.
2💟 Adamantly believe that Allah the Most Wise will not grant you tests which your soul can't withstand. Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala precisely knows the level of your faith/Imaan and when He examines you with certain situations it is because He Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala can see that you have the ability to actually pass that test if you cleverly utilize the correct tools in responding wisely.
So if ever you discover that your husband remarried without informing you yet directly, do well in such examination by training yourself to patiently accept Allah's Qadr/Decree.
Acknowledge the fact that while you can't control your husband's actions 24/7 nor ensure that he never "cheats", you have absolute freewill concerning the way you react when you find him behaving strangely or questionably. Stay grateful Alhamdulillah and be glad that he's not guilty of adultery, while humbly accepting the truth that he has every right, as an adult Muslim male who's financially stable, to be married to up to four wives.
3💟 Confidently know that your success in this world and the next doesn't entirely depend on what your husband does and chooses to do. You can still be from those believers whom Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala loves even if your husband decides to have another wife. You can still persist in journeying towards Jannah Paradise even if your husband lawfully loves another woman. Your husband still loves you for Allah's sake and genuinely cares about you even if he is blessed with two, three or four wives. The kind of marriage which Allah the Most Loving decreed for you, whether it's monogamous or polygynous, does not ultimately define your value as a Muslimah. Your worth may be in how much effort you put in maintaining a strong connection with Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala, regardless if you're single, married or one of your husband's wives.
4💟 It is better to be one of your husband's patient and loyal wives than to be a divorcee who feels awfully remorseful whenever she observes how other wives in polygynous marriages have a lot more determination than her while she couldn't fully empathize with the former spouse.
5💟 Admit that our archenemy shaytan and his puppets are the ones who feel smug whenever they assume they've succeeded in disuniting Muslims and destroying Muslim families. Don't allow the delusional devils to easily spoil the beautiful connection which Allah the Most Merciful destined for you. Whenever your husband upsets or disappoints you, always remind yourself that he isn't an infallible robot and even androids or gadgets have their own defects. Even if you left him and remarried another guy, that new spouse would also be filled with loads of imperfections. If you ditched husband number two, husband number three and four and so on similarly have their own shortcomings. Why discard crumpled paper only to collect other bits of crumpled paper?
It is better and less problematic to be contented with one imperfect husband than to leave him for another flawed substitute while occasionally finding yourself missing the first husband.
It is better and more rewarding, in my opinion, for a Muslim man to be gratefully married to four wives with many children who can be productive assets
Inn-sha-Allah to the Muslim Ummah than for him to remain with a wife who can't really conceive or for him to have one wife while combating the urge to commit adultery.
If you truly love your husband for Allah's sake, you'd want him to be happy by way of lawful means rather than annoyingly attaching yourself to him and preventing him from pursuing what Allah the Most Kind allowed him to do, namely to have more than one wife.
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📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A woman is married for four things: Her wealth, her family status, her beauty, and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman otherwise you will be a loser."
Sahih Al-Bukhari 5090
In-book reference: Book 67 Hadith 28
USC-MSA web (English) reference: Vol. 7, Book 62, Hadith 27
📖 Abdullah Ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The world is enjoyment and the best enjoyment in the world is a righteous wife."
Source: Sahih Muslim 1467
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim
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