Saturday, July 30, 2022

Tips: Seven Secrets To Not Feeling Bothered When Uninvited

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

🗒️ Seven secrets and tips from an INTJ to not feeling bothered at all when you discover that some friends, coworkers, classmates or relatives attended a gathering without you:
1] Remind yourself that you weren't the only one who wasn't invited. Think of those who are connected or acquainted with the hosts while they too couldn't attend the event probably because they were busy, reside in a different city, or they, like you, weren't included in the plans because the hosts' budget wasn't enough to cover the costs of welcoming everybody they know. 
2] When you recall the current state of many individuals worldwide who are imprisoned, confined in hospitals, strive to survive as refugees, work as street beggars, or who struggle with social anxiety disorder so they'd rather stay indoors than mingle with numerous mortals, you feel relieved and realize that not being invited to certain events isn't really a big deal. 
3] To preserve your emotional well-being, don't bother stalking the social media posts of those who attended the gatherings which you weren't invited to nor asking any of the attendees to describe how the event went. Behave as though the gathering never occurred in the first place. 
Frequently paying attention to someone's online content shows you care about them. Why care about a gathering in which you weren't invited?  
4] As a Muslim, patiently accept Allah's Plans which always take over His servants' wishes. No matter how willing or interested you are in attending an event, if that occasion isn't part of Allah's Destiny for you it would never happen despite some of His slaves trying to ensure it does. Who you meet on earth and which places you get to visit have already been decreed by Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala. Why whine about something that's not meant to be yours? 
5] Acknowledge that if you were to conduct your own gathering or meeting for a cause, you'd also exclude particular individuals either because you believe their presence won't improve the event in any way, there's a huge likelihood that they could disrupt the program's flow somehow, or you're not very close to each other yet that they deserve an insistent invitation. Regardless of the reasons behind their reluctance to accommodate you - for instance, maybe their deep-seated envy of you compelled them to exclude you as they feared your confidence would steal their limelight - refuse to be controlled by ugly ego and refrain from acting like a self-entitled narcissist who assumes that everything should be in your favor twenty-four-seven. 
6] Regard your not being invited as an enormous blessing in disguise, a protection from fitna, and encouragement to prefer the eternal joys in Jannah Paradise. Perhaps Allah the Most Wise didn't want you to participate in some inappropriate discussions or silly arguments with some guests had you attended the gathering, or He Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala didn't want you to flatter anybody at that event who isn't worthy of your compliments and appreciation. 
7] Appreciate all the meaningful tasks you got to do or lessons you've learned instead of attending the gathering. Maybe you weren't invited to join the group, but at least you gained inner strength and rewards for your patience and contentment with Allah's Love. Maybe you couldn't network with the individuals whom you looked forward to interviewing, but at least you didn't need to put up with overhearing narcissists' absurd lies about themselves, and you're reminded that Alhamdulillah as long as you have Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala guiding you, you can thrive 
Inn-sha-Allah in both worlds without constant validation from Allah's servants. 
If you won't instantly turn into a multimillionaire by attending an event, and if it's not an obvious shortcut to seeing Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala and His noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam, then not being invited to such occasion really isn't something worthwhile to lose sleep over.
~•~
📖 Ibn 'Abbas RadhiAllahu 'anhuma narrated: I was riding behind the Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam when he said to me, "Young man, I will teach you some words. Be mindful of Allah and He will protect you. Be mindful of Allah and you will find Him before you. If you ask, ask from Allah. If you seek help, seek help from Allah. Know that if the nations were to gather together to benefit you, they will not benefit you unless Allah has decreed it for you. And if the nations gathered together to harm you, they will not harm you unless Allah has decreed it for you. The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2516
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to At-Tirmidhi 
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The strong believer is more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.' Rather say: "Allah has decreed what He wills." Verily, the phrase ‘if only’ opens the way for the work of shaytan."
Source: Sahih Muslim 2664
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim

Tips: When Around People Who Dislike You

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ Some tips on how you can behave in the presence of somebody who clearly doesn't like you and it's obvious that they don't have any interest in trying to get to know you better, whether they're a colleague and you're attending a meeting, they're a schoolmate and you're in the cafeteria, or they're a relative or casual acquaintance and you're both guests at the same wedding:
1] Patiently accept the fact that Allah the Almighty didn't destine you two to get along harmoniously. You can't force individuals to connect if Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala doesn't want such connection to take place. 
2] Maintain good manners and etiquettes, as much as possible, with every soul whom Allah the Most Wise decrees you'd meet. Disliking a person for some of their attributes or actions which you disagree with shouldn't provoke you to act like an oppressive tyrant. 
3] You have every right to decide not to sit near individuals whom you know despise you, especially if you're uncomfortable with their vibes and/or you don't wish to overhear irrelevant conversations. If in some cases you must be seated beside someone who despises you as much as you loathe them, do whatever you can to avoid unwelcome physical contact and refrain from looking at them whenever they speak to others, to signal you're uninterested in what they have to say and you don't desire any drama. 
4] During breaks or intermissions, converse with somebody whom you  actually care about for Allah's sake, read some beneficial writings or do some productive tasks on your cellphone or laptop, or temporarily leave the area where the individuals who can't stand you are, then return when the necessary activities resume. Don't oblige yourself to act concerned or curious about some people if begrudgingly chatting with them is more disadvantageous than uplifting. 
5] Avoiding pointless interactions with individuals who hold a grudge against you is almost similar to intentionally staying away from touching objects at a store which aren't useful for you. Don't feel apologetic or guilty about your indifference towards them, specifically if most of their goals and values contradict yours. 
While we can't control how Allah's servants view us or feel about us, we have the freewill to choose how to respond to their feelings and perceptions. Every action we humans do on purpose has its consequences, and Allah's Justice always prevails if not in this fleeting world then on the Day of Judgment. 
Incompatibility mustn't cause us to commit sins such as deceiving, backbiting, stealing, denying people what is rightfully theirs, and oppressing.
~•~
📖 Abu Dharr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Fear Allah wherever you are, follow a bad deed with a good deed and it will erase it, and behave well with good character towards the people."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1987
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to At-Tirmidhi
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The souls are conscripted soldiers. They come together upon what they recognize, and they differ upon what they reject." 
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 3109
Sahih Muslim 2638 
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A man is upon the religion of his close friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2378
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Nawawi