Saturday, February 18, 2023

Note: Adult Bullies And "Mean Girls"? Don't Be Too Stupid To Join Them.

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 Five examples of situations in which bullying (or unfair treatment) among "adults" (in their late 20s, 30s, 40s etc.) can occur sometimes: 
1🔹 At one's workplace. For example: when some of your colleagues frequently exclude you from group meetings online and offline because of your weight, tribe/race/nationality or "intimidating" personality etc. 
2🔸 Among co-wives. For example: when you're the fourth wife and the first three wives dislike how their allowance has been significantly reduced because the husband has to divide the amount to be distributed as fairly as he can to the four women whom he loves for Allah's sake. Or when you're the third wife while the other two wives treat you as if you don't exist because you've recently embraced Islam and they assume you're just a "golddigger".
3🔹 Among entrepreneurs or managers of home-based businesses. For example: when a number of them evidently endorse one another while encouraging their supportive customers to boycott your products. 
4🔸 Among older students attending regular classes and lectures. For example: when some of them form a circle of close-knit friends and they consistently remind each other to deliberately ignore you as much as they can because they enviously perceive you as more competent and knowledgeable than them. 
5🔹 Among mothers of children enrolled at the same school. For example: when some of the moms split into various cliques and they all make you feel unwelcome whenever you try to interact with them. Deep-seated jealousy or awfully low self-esteem causes them to act disrespectfully. Perhaps your kids are more successful than theirs, they loathe how your inner beauty reminds them of their ugly insecurities, or they simply detest you for not being capable of speaking in their language or dialect. 
✅ How to cope with grownup bullies who are so immature and inwardly miserable despite their age: 
1] Thank Allah the Almighty that He did not make you as unhappy, agitated and ethically pathetic as they are. Alhamdulillah you're able to sleep soundly and peacefully while those emotionally disturbed bullies can't stand how acknowledging that you're way better than them in myriad ways compels them to constantly conspire against you. 
2] Unapologetically unfollow them on social media. Don't bother checking on their status updates filled with cowardly passive-aggressive rants and lame calumnies indirectly referring to you. 
When you discover that they went on an outing or event without you, do yourself an immense favor and gladly ignore the cheesy photos they upload which thankfully have no connection with you. Imagine yourself as an eagle or owl while those bullies are maggots or wild beasts enjoying themselves feasting on filth and mud. You're not missing out on anything valuable if a get-together fails to inspire you to become a better Muslim since most of the discussions involve gossip and petty complaints.
3] Shield yourself with Taqwa and firm trust in Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala. Don't be affected at all by what Allah's servants claim and assume about you, particularly if they themselves are the ones who are depressed and it's true that they don't know you entirely. 
4] Stay adamant and uncompromising when it comes to being selective and careful concerning your choice of close friends. Never feel sorry for yourself for avoiding toxic individuals and disengaging from those who clearly proved to you that they're untrustworthy due to their irrefutable envy towards you.
5] Remind yourself that you're not the only one in the entire universe who must counteract jealous opponents or deal with critics. Even our Only King and Creator Allah the Most Powerful Who owns the Most Magnificent Names and Attributes regularly witnesses ignorant acts and bad conduct from His slaves. 
May Allah the Most Loving forgive us always, protect our faith Imaan, cause us to hate whatever He hates, and guide us to the best deeds which lead to Jannatul Ferdaus with Allah's Mercy. Ameen. 
~•~
📖 Abu Dharr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Fear Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala) wherever you are, follow a bad deed with a good deed and it will erase it, and behave well with good character towards the people."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1987
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to At-Tirmidhi
📖 Anas Ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The believer is one who is trusted by the people. The Muslim is one from whose tongue and hand the Muslims are safe (not guilty of backbiting, telling lies, and deliberately committing injustice). The emigrant (muhaajir) is one who emigrates away from evil. By the One (Allah the Almighty) in Whose Hand is my soul, a servant will not enter Paradise if his neighbor is not secure from his harm."
Source: Sahih Ibn Hibbān 515 
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Arna'ut
📖 Ali Ibn Husayn RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, part of perfection in Islam is for a person to leave what does not concern him."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2318
Grade: Sahih li ghayri (Authentic) according to Al-Albani
📖 Abu Darda RadhiAllahu 'anhu said: "A righteous companion is better than loneliness, and loneliness is better than an evil companion. A good writer is better than one silent, and one silent is better than an evil writer."
Source: Rawdat Al-‘Uqalā 56 
📖 Abu Nu'aym reported: Fudayl Ibn 'Iyaad, may Allah have mercy on him, said, “If you mix with people, mix with those who have good character; it only invites to good. Do not mix with those who have bad character, for it only invites to evil.”
Source: Ḥilyat Al-Awliyā’ 11728

Poem: They Think I'm Jealous? They're Just Flattering Their Ego

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

💌 From my secrets to feeling unfazed by jealousy, 
Unaffected when some people try to purposely 
Make me "jealous" when their acts simply provoke pity, 
Are contentment and patience with Allah's Destiny, 
And positive self-talk which can augment self-esteem.
~•~ 
I believe Allah distributed His gifts wisely 
To His servants. No matter how much each soul receives, 
There's wisdom in what Allah gives, withholds, and retrieves, 
To observe if we'll respond with gratitude or greed, 
And if the blessings become keys to Jannah's entry.
~•~
If I sense that certain users online cheesily 
Post photos or status updates to arouse envy, 
I don't get "jealous", can't wish "if only that were me", 
As I refuse to admire anyone who's guilty 
Of inauthenticity or insecurities. 
~•~ 
If I feel that someone loves Allah the Almighty, 
While their faith/Imaan is firm and their good vibes are real, 
I reject invites from shaytan to greet jealousy, 
Since the gifts a soul enjoys come from Allah Only, 
And I don't take for granted what Allah chose for me.
~•~ 
If I truly "envied" some, I'd act ungraciously, 
Mistreating them and gossiping to soothe misery. 
Still I'm not "envious", can't question Allah's Decree, 
And when I spot things I want enjoyed by somebody, 
I thank Allah, knowing Allah knows what's best for me.
~•~ 
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Look to those below you and do not look at those above you, for it is the best way not to belittle the favors of Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala)."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 6125 
Sahih Muslim 2963
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim
📖 Anas Ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Envy consumes good deeds just as fire burns wood. Charity (Sadaqah) extinguishes sinful deeds just as water extinguishes fire. Prayer is the light of the believer and fasting is his shield from the Hellfire."
Source: Sunan Ibn Mājah 4210
Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Ibn Asakir 
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Faith and envy do not combine within a believing servant."
In another narration, the Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Greed and faith are never combined in the heart of a (true Muslim) servant."
Source: Sunan Al-Nasā’ī 3109
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani