💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 Five possible reasons why we can never force ourselves to like some people, regardless of how available or friendly they try to be with us:
1] They distinctly remind us of someone we despise or couldn't get along with in the past.
For instance, if you have a maternal cousin called Ayra who kept avoiding you, ignoring your calls, and pushing you away whenever you tried to reach out to them, you wouldn't be so eager to befriend a person called Ava if their name and face significantly bring back awful memories of your failed attempts to reconnect with that one aloof relative.
2] They've previously done something hurtful and still didn't apologize, or they continue doing that offensive action which we dislike.
Any decent person having a healthy dose of self-respect would want to stay away from somebody who addresses them with insulting nicknames, makes a laughing stock out of them, displays even the slightest amount of grudge against any of their family members, criticizes their outward appearance, acts passive-aggressively often, underestimates them, or seldom supports their business or values.
3] They purposely try to make us feel jealous or their presence makes us insecure.
Good vibes don't emanate from those whom we clash with because there's something about their energy that warns us to back off, as they're dangerous or too different. So it comes as no surprise that a woman who ignorantly questions the virtues of polygyny and views men married to multiple wives as selfish womanizers would actively distance herself from women who are contented being in polygynous marriages. Similarly, if you're somewhat sad that you don't always get to see your husband on a daily basis, you're much more at ease mingling with the single ladies or other wives whose husbands work abroad than hanging out with a wife who boastfully flaunts her "flawless love life" in front you.
4] They don't meet our standards of what qualifies a person to become an ideal friend.
Since the definition of 'the right friend' isn't exactly the same for everyone, not everybody will find you agreeable and vice versa. If you're looking for a friend who can spoil you with gifts and invite you over to their house regularly, you won't be able to establish that sort of friendship with someone who is struggling financially. A person who easily gets bored listening to Islamic lectures and who doesn't reveal any interest in learning more about Islam will appear as another uninteresting stranger to you if helpful, sincere and ambitious Muslims who strive to improve their Deen are the kind of friends you want.
5] There is no mutual care, trust or respect. Naturally you can't like someone who is unable to return your favors, reciprocate your kindness or at least express gratitude. Whoever isn't thankful to people is someone who is generally ungrateful to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala. People who leave our messages in seen mode and who rarely show concern eventually get forgotten or turn into total strangers again, except this time we're no longer keen on building any connection with those who proved to be unreliable companions.
So Inn-sha-Allah if one day we wonder why so-and-so excluded us from a gathering or they're unfriendly to us, we understand that:
1) It's their freedom to loathe us if we remind them of someone they can't stand.
2) It's their choice to hate us if they're still hurting from something wrong we may have done.
3) Whatever we do or say could trigger distressful feelings of jealousy in those who lack self-confidence.
4) We haven't proven ourselves yet to be worthy of their companionship, or we're basically too dissimilar to get along harmoniously.
5) We weren't destined by Allah the Most Wise to vibe with them, and it's okay.
Even Allah's Prophets (Peace be upon them) especially His beloved Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam weren't accepted by every single soul they encountered.
Animals in jungles and forests, as well as the sea creatures in the ocean and rivers, also deal with competition and opposition from other living beings.
Exposure to enemies, critics and competitors is part of Allah's myriad tests. To pass these tests, we should try to be patient for Allah's sake, knowing that Allah's Love is what truly matters, and refrain from committing injustice or oppression in spite of negative feelings which often emerge from shaytan's evil whisperings.
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The souls are troops collected together. They come close upon what they recognize, and they differ upon what they reject."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 3109
Sahih Muslim 2638
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim
Al-Nawawi said, “When bodies meet in the world, they come together or differ according to how they were created. The righteous will incline to the righteous, and the evil will incline to the evil.”
Source: Sharh Al-Nawawī ‘alá Sahih Muslim 2638
📖 Abdullah Bin Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated that Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said:
"The Muslim is the one from whose tongue and hands the Muslims are safe."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 10 Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi
📖 Amr Ibn Absah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: A man said, “O Messenger of Allah, what is Islam?” The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "That you surrender your heart to Allah and that the Muslims are safe from your tongue and hands."
Source: Shu’ab Al-Imān 20 Grade: Sahih
📖 Mu’adh ibn Anas RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “The best of faith is to love for the sake of Allah, to hate for the sake of Allah, and to keep your tongue busy in the remembrance of Allah.” Mu’adh said, “And what else, O Messenger of Allah?” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “And that you love for the people what you love for yourself, and you hate for them what you hate for yourself, and you speak goodness or remain silent.”
Source: Musnad Ahmed 21627
Grade: Sahih li ghayri (Authentic due to external evidence) according to Al-Arna’ut
