💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
📜 Question: As an INTJ, why is it so easy for you to forgive your husband in spite of his numerous mistakes or frequent delays in answering many of your messages while you become completely disinterested in befriending certain individuals after they disappoint you more than thrice? Aren't they human beings also who deserve a lot of chances for reconciliation?
📝 Answer: Allah the Almighty knows best. It's because I'm very selective when it comes to choosing who I can regard as close friends for Allah's sake. I imagine my husband being a precious diamond and valuable gift granted to me by Allah the Most Wise, as a trust which I should strive to keep and carry with me on this special journey to our Creator Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala. In contrast, the people whom I occasionally meet and communicate with are like bamboo stems or long rods made of metal or wood which could be useful for constructing bridges leading to a particular goal - in a way that is meaningful and positive, not manipulative. If a person turns out to be insincere and unreliable, they'd be like a torn down plant or damaged tool which isn't useful despite multiple attempts to restore it. No peace can be found in trying to reconnect with somebody whose disconcerting presence often reminds you of their selfishness, bad motives and unreliability. Better to find a different route to your destination than to build a flimsy bridge which could result in swift destruction.
My husband can also be likened to an incredibly expensive fountain pen given to me as a souvenir from another loved one. The writing instrument being costly but refillable and its case being decorated with pure gold cause me to feel reluctant about discarding it that easily. On the other hand, the people whom Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala wants me to interact with are like coloring pencils. If they're blunt, broken or not sharpened while I don't have a sharpener or have no reason to color anything, attempting to connect with them can be challenging, especially if one must be careful regarding colored pencils which can't color properly or don't have pigment (actual substance or significance) in them.
My understanding of true love is to continue loving the man whom Allah the All-Knowing wisely selected as your other half and soulmate, only for Allah's sake, with patience (Sabr) and gratitude (Shukr), until one of you is brought back to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala for the evaluation on how well you passed Allah's varying examinations.
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📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If a woman prays her five prayers, fasts her month of Ramadan, guards her chastity, and obeys her husband, she will enter Paradise from any gate she wishes."
Source: Sahih Ibn Ḥibbān 4252
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A woman is married for four things: Her wealth, her family status, her beauty, and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman otherwise you will be a loser."
Sahih Al-Bukhari 5090
In-book reference: Book 67 Hadith 28
USC-MSA web (English) reference: Vol. 7, Book 62, Hadith 27
📖 Abdullah Ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The world is enjoyment and the best enjoyment in the world is a righteous wife."
Source: Sahih Muslim 1467
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim
