بسم الله. ربي زدني علما. امين

بسم الله. ربي زدني علما. امين
May Allah the Almighty grant us more beneficial knowledge, accept our good deeds, forgive our mistakes, protect us from fitna, and join us with the righteous believers in Jannatul Ferdaus. Ameen.

Friday, February 17, 2023

Tips: How To Tell If Some Souls Weren't Destined To Connect With You

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

📜 Question: How can you determine or sense that you and certain individuals were not destined by Allah the Most Wise to get along while you don't feel guilty at all about your disinterest in befriending them? 
📝 Answer: Allah the Almighty knows best. I believe that I and certain souls weren't meant to truly connect and become more than mere strangers:- 
1] ...when I am uninterested in learning more about their life story, interests, goals and personal background. Coming up with questions to ask them about themselves can be a challenge particularly if there are several things they've done which cause me to perceive them as "fake", pretentious, inauthentic and untrustworthy. 
2] ...when I am aware of their account/s on social media, including their YouTube channel or Facebook page/s if they manage one, but I never bothered to comment on or check out any of their posts, not even a single one, while more than seven months have already passed by. 
3] ...when it's obvious that I despise mentioning the word they selected to address themselves as, and I actively abstain from stating their first name vocally and in print as much as possible. 
4] ...when they've requested a number of individuals to go out with them someplace or to work on a project together and I actually feel delighted and relieved from within that they felt the need to exclude me so I am spared from enduring their rehearsed acts, absurd lack of basic good manners, and lousy lies they invent to massage their overly gargantuan ego.
5] ...when I don't expect any goodness from them, so I'm unsurprised whenever they do something supposedly disappointing or "offensive". To me, their awful efforts to act like overgrown yet still immature bullies indicate they've got to be intensely jealous of me for several reasons, perhaps because I'm okay with polygyny, have traveled to more than eleven countries and can understand some Arabic language Alhamdulillah, am married to a medical doctor and I am not the type of insecure female who feels envious easily etc. 
☑️ Note: Although I don't show interest in starting a friendship with those females (most of whom are ESFPs and ISFPs) who are incompatible with me, I avoid: 
1) Backbiting and gossiping about them. 
2) Treating them unjustly on purpose. 
3) Knowingly stealing from them and damaging any of their belongings. 
4) Disrupting their image and inviting "fans" to join me in despising them. 
5) Ignoring their salaams if they're Muslim or sharing constructive feedback if they politely request for my opinions. 
Lions aren't obliged to learn how to bark to achieve inner peace and contentment if some puppies enjoy barking at them for their attention, and for self-fulfilment a wolf doesn't have to chase disdainful donkeys when the latter start acting aloof and distant. 
~•~
📖 Abu Umamah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever loves for the sake of Allah, hates for the sake of Allah, gives for the sake of Allah, and withholds for the sake of Allah has perfected the faith (Imaan)."
Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4681
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A man is upon the religion of his close friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2378
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to An-Nawawi
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The souls are conscripted soldiers. They come together upon what they recognize, and they differ upon what they reject." 
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 3109
Sahih Muslim 2638 
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim
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Tips: Don't Bother Trying To Reconnect With Jealous Narcissists Who Are Too Proud To Forgive You

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

📜 Question: A group of friends and I had a falling-out (silly argument). I approached them to apologize for whatever I did that offended them but they still refuse to treat me in a friendly way like they used to. They even deleted me from their group chat and unfriended me on social media. What can I do to become close to them again? 
📝 Answer: A group of sad clowns, sorry, individuals with such gigantic ego and lousy oversensitivity, who are too obsessed with themselves that they can't let go of the past drama, aren't worthy of your companionship and attention. There's a stronger reason to avoid them for Allah's sake if they happen to be toxic narcissists who are excessively attached to this transient dunya while they fail so badly to inspire you to become a better Muslim. 
If Allah the Almighty observed any goodness in their hearts, He Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala could have guided them to becoming softhearted and humble enough to forgive you. Perhaps Allah the Most Wise allowed them to drift apart to protect you and your faith Imaan from their negative vibes, obnoxious competition accompanied by jealousy among themselves regarding materialism and ridiculous stuff, and their awful tendency of probably gossiping about you when you weren't listening to their absolute nonsense.
Imagine them being worms, snakes or leeches that decide to slither away from you once they discovered that you're a genuine diamond, with a tough surface, or "you can't mess around with me" persona that intimidates them, and they realized you can't provide them with the substance they're desperately searching for. To them, you can't spoil them with false flattery so they choose to avoid you. They're absolutely terrified of getting caught for concealing some ugly lies and invented tales about themselves to appear less plain or tedious, so they frequently exclude you from their shallow gatherings to make you feel as insecure and inwardly gloomy as they are because they despise seeing you cheerful, thriving and contented. 
Attain inner peace in patiently accepting Allah's Qadr/Decree and remind yourself that you weren't created in such a way to be appealing to every single soul whom Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala wants you to meet. Inevitably the more you appear successful or the more you emit good vibes due to strong faith Imaan, Taqwa and inner beauty, the more you may encounter envious females who resent you for being able to do multiple things which they can't carry out (for instance being capable of communicating in Arabic language Alhamdulillah or being one of the few formidable Muslimahs who are fine with polygyny etc.) or haven't yet accomplished. 
Don't force yourself to become "friends" again with people whose despicable pride and ignorance about Islam overshadow their willingness to demonstrate beautiful character. Who cares if they don't like you back, and why bother wishing to be liked by them if they, due to their insecurities, envy and inward misery, likely abhor themselves so much so that they are unwilling to beautify their souls with the strength to pardon other Muslims for Allah's sake? 
For Allah's sake move on confidently, unapologetically unfollow those who are too spiteful and sorrowful to be followed, and focus on doing what you believe can lead you closer to Allah's Love regardless of how His servants perceive us.
~•~
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The souls are conscripted soldiers. They come together upon what they recognize, and they differ upon what they reject." 
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 3109
Sahih Muslim 2638 
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Faith (Imaan) and envy do not combine within a believing servant."
In another narration, the Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Greed and faith are never combined in the heart of a servant."
Source: Sunan Al-Nasā’ī 3109
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 
📖 Aslam Al-Habashi RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Umar Ibn Al-Khattab RadhiAllahu 'anhu said, "Let not your love be infatuation and let not your hatred be destruction." It was said, "How is this?" Umar RadhiAllahu 'anhu said, "When you love someone, you become infatuated (obsessed) like a child. When you hate someone, you want destruction for your companion (sister or brother in Islam)."
Source: Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 1322
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani
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Tips: Dealing With Awkward Moments As An INTJ Personality Type

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

📜 Question: As a Muslim whose MBTI personality type is INTJ, how do you handle awkward situations? 
📝 Answer: Three examples of "awkward" moments I went through and sometimes do but I don't find them that bothersome: 
1] During our first years of settling in the Philippines after moving from Saudi Arabia when I was trying to practice Tagalog language, I told a salesperson something like "oh buntis ka? Ilan months buntis (pregnant)?" to which the person answered "lalaki ako" meaning "I'm a guy." and I responded with something like "oh sorry, ha! 
(A)kala ko babae ka" (I thought you're female). 
2] Asking an individual "how are you? And so how are you?" (like a malfunctioned android robot) a number of times in one conversation or too frequently in one day when I've already asked them how they're doing upon our initial greeting. 
3] Appearing ignorant when it comes to "formal dining" as the handle of the spoon or fork I'd be using would become messy at times, which is usually why I prefer to ask the staff at most restaurants where the washbasin is to wash my hands and eat with the right than struggle with utensils. 
➡️ How to avoid "awkward" moments: 
1] Think very carefully before you decide to do something and reflect in advance on the probable outcomes of your actions. 
2] Thoroughly analyze your surroundings and see if the environment or condition you're in is convenient or ideal for you to proceed with the task you're about to carry out. 
3] Considerately put yourself in the shoes of the other individual or group and imagine how they may react to your statements or feel about you after behaving in a certain way. 
Those three points are some of the things which a lot of INTJs consider unimportant or unnecessary since they prefer to be direct and straightforward, eager to achieve their goals efficiently without giving too much thought on people's emotions and opinions. This is why looking "awkward" isn't that big of a deal for us.
☑️ Some tips on dealing with "awkward" situations: 
1• Always live life to please and serve Only Allah the Almighty regardless of how His servants perceive you. As long as you believe that you're doing the right thing, without causing deliberate injury to anybody, you shouldn't care about how people view you. They're imperfect and prone to encountering "awkward" situations too.
2• Be aware that every feeling which you allow or encourage yourself to feel on earth is temporary. Feelings of "awkwardness" or slight "embarrassment" will 
Inn-sha-Allah gradually subside, especially if you busy yourself with more productive, meaningful and rewarding activities including reading from the Noble Qur'an with sincere intention and saying some Adhkaar regularly.
3• Be humble enough to recall that you're a human being, so it's normal to make errors now and then. Learn from your mistakes and others' faults, and avoid repeating them as much as possible. 
Being able to laugh at yourself when you make a mistake shows confidence and implies you are not the type of person to let temporary and trivial issues affect how you feel from inside. 
Shame or disgrace on the Day of Judgment is a lot worse than feeling temporarily "ashamed" or "awkward" in this transitory dunya. 
May Allah the Most Merciful always protect us from actual humiliation in both worlds. Ameen.
~•~
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day (the Day of Judgement), let him speak goodness or remain silent. Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him honor his neighbor. Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him honor his guest."
In another narration, the Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam, "Let him not harm his neighbor."
And in another narration, the Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Let him uphold family ties."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5672
Sahih Muslim 47
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim
📖 Anas Ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "May Allah have mercy on a person who spoke rightly and was rewarded, or who was silent and remained safe."
Source: Shu’b Al-Imān 4579
Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Al-Albani
📖 Abu Umamah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "I guarantee a house on the outskirts of Paradise for one who leaves arguments even if he is right, and a house in the middle of Paradise for one who abandons lies even when joking, and a house in the highest part of Paradise for one who makes his character excellent."
Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4800
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Nawawi
📖 Abu Dharr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Fear Allah wherever you are, follow a bad deed with a good deed and it will erase it, and behave well with good character towards the people."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1987
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to At-Tirmidhi
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