🗒️ Question: If ever you've become widowed and received a marriage proposal some time after the completion of your 'iddah (waiting period of four months and ten days) what are some qualities you'd require for a Muslim man to have so you'd be willing to accept his marriage proposal?
📝 Answer: Allah the Almighty knows best. I can't imagine myself remarrying but if Allah the Most Wise decreed that I become a wife again, the guy proposing (not directly to me but to my brothers) must have all of the following qualities or factors visible:
1. He strives to follow the right 'Aqeedah belief, aspires to adhere to the Sunnah of the beloved Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam (so he's not one of those beardless boys who sometimes apply cheesy makeup) and shows sincere interest in learning more about Islam through authentic and reliable sources. It's obvious that he is not Shi'a, Sufi, Ash'ari/Ash'arite, an extremist Khariji/Kharijite or "Ikhwaani".
2. He has never tried cigarettes nor does he plan on smoking and taking drugs.
3. He doesn't have any criminal record.
4. He currently has a stable and lawful job, preferably he doesn't work in a bank nor is he an attorney.
5. I'd prefer that he has at least one sister, whether biological sister or half-sister, so I could have at least one sister-in-law.
6. He should genuinely get along well with both my brothers and have no grudge against them. Anybody who has something negative to say or assume about anyone from my family is automatically unappealing.
7. He should be overall confident and ambitious, not an insecure, narcissistic and immature "adult".
8. I would prefer that he is not a divorcee. If he already has a wife, she should make it clear that she is perfectly accepting of seeing her husband have another legal spouse while he agrees that he'll try his best
Inn-sha-Allah to treat his multiple wives as fairly as possible.
9. I would prefer that he doesn't have a son from any previous marriage since a stepson wouldn't be an actual mahram to my daughter and her half-sister.
10. It would be preferable if he is employed in the same city as I reside in.
11. Regardless of his tribe/nationality we should be able to communicate with each other comfortably and clearly, without language barrier and artificiality.
12. It is known that he is patient with and understanding towards his womenfolk/female relatives. It would be a lie to describe him as a misogynist.
13. He is effective at controlling his emotions and gaze. He doesn't stare at non-mahram females online and offline.
If the man proposing lacks any of the above, then Inn-sha-Allah I'd rather stick to my one and only husband and pray that I reunite with him Inn-sha-Allah in Jannah Paradise.
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📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If someone proposes marriage to you whose religion (Deen / Islam / 'Aqeedah belief) and character satisfies you, then you should accept it. If you do not do so, there will be trials on the earth and the spread of corruption."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1084
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani
📖 Ibn 'Abbas RadhiAllahu 'anhuma narrated: I was riding behind the Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam when he said to me, "Young man, I will teach you some words. Be mindful of Allah (The Almighty) and He (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala) will protect you. Be mindful of Allah and you will find Him before you. If you ask, ask from Allah. If you seek help, seek help from Allah. Know that if the nations were to gather together to benefit you, they will not benefit you unless Allah has decreed it for you. And if the nations gathered together to harm you, they will not harm you unless Allah has decreed it for you. The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2516
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to At-Tirmidhi
