بسم الله. ربي زدني علما. امين

بسم الله. ربي زدني علما. امين
May Allah the Almighty grant us more beneficial knowledge, accept our good deeds, forgive our mistakes, protect us from fitna, and join us with the righteous believers in Jannatul Ferdaus. Ameen.

Monday, October 24, 2022

Note: Some Tips On How To Deal When A Person Lies To You

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ Question: What would your usual reaction be if a person told you a lie and you can sense that they lied to you on purpose?
📝 Answer: If an individual approached me saying something like "You and your husband were thinking of recording some (so-called) Anasheed like a duet in the past, he'd play the guitar while you'd write the (so-called) Nasheed lyrics but then you both did Tawbah and cancelled that idea since you learned that listening to music is something we should abstain from as Muslims? Are you joking? I don't believe your husband can play any musical instrument, let alone you and him planning on doing any fun activity together - ever." or "From the cities you've traveled to were London, Paris, Hong Kong, Bangkok, Cairo, Copenhagen, Aalborg, Orlando and NYC back in the 90s, yes? But in your dreams or imagination only, I bet." or "Give me the amount of money you agreed to pay so you can receive the ticket, I didn't notice your name on the list." or anything to imply that they're being untruthful, sarcastic or they are falsely accusing me of lying, I would: 
1] Firstly imagine all of the probable reasons why they'd act that way and try to figure out their actual motives for acting obnoxiously. Are they being dishonest because they're truly ignorant of some info or are they attempting to play some sort of childish prank to get back at me for doing something which offended their feelings previously while I wasn't aware of their ego getting hurt that time? Or are they inventing ridiculous lies about me to feel better about their insecure selves, almost in the same way a fictional donkey would label a lion a "mule" or "chimpanzee" so it feels superior due to its ability to describe anything it considers as a threat in the way that would make it feel bigger somehow?  
2] Put some effort into empathizing or understanding the negative emotions (feeling jealous, intimidated, inferior, threatened, ignorant etc.) which provoked their urge to lie or conduct themselves badly. (So this specimen is inventing lies again because they can't stand the fact that I * mention something which they're undeniably envious of *? I see. That explains it. I'll take it as an emphasized confirmation to avoid connecting with them on a deeper level as they are clearly unreliable.)
3] Become more inspired to avoid imitating them in their untrustworthiness and lack of good morals. 
4] Become more cautious, reserved and quiet whenever I must interact with them in the future, since they've proven to be untrustworthy. 
5] Recall that even many of Allah's Prophets 'alaihim as-salaam, including the beloved Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam who warned us against falsehood, also dealt with some of the unbelievers' fallacies, derision and deceptions. Striving to be truthful for Allah's sake as much as possible doesn't guarantee that every soul on planet earth will likewise treat you with integrity 24/7. 
~•~
📖 Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "You must be truthful. Verily, truthfulness leads to righteousness and righteousness leads to Paradise. A man continues to be truthful and encourages honesty until he is recorded with Allah as a truthful person. And beware of falsehood. Verily, falsehood leads to wickedness and wickedness leads to the Hellfire. A man continues to tell lies and encourages falsehood until he is recorded with Allah as a liar."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5743 
Sahih Muslim 2607
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 
📖 Abdullah Ibn 'Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "There are four signs that make someone a pure hypocrite and whoever has them has a characteristic of hypocrisy until he abandons it: When he speaks, he lies; when he makes a covenant, he is treacherous; when he makes a promise, he breaks it; and when he argues, he is wicked."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 34, Sahih Muslim 58
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 
📖 Anas Ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever has three traits is a hypocrite, even if he fasts, prays, goes to Hajj and Umrah, and claims to be a Muslim. When he speaks, he lies. When he promises, he breaks it. When he is trusted, he betrays it."
Source: Musnad Abī Ya’lá 4039
Grade: Hasan li ghayrihi according to Al-Albani


Note: When Does An INTJ Consider Someone As A Friend

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

📜 Question: Regardless of your MBTI personality type, how do you choose your friends, or when would you consider somebody as a "good friend"? 
📝 Answer: As an introvert (INTJ) I generally don't walk around actively or desperately searching for friends. I believe that it's possible
Inn-sha-Allah to thrive in both worlds without numerous long-lasting friendships, particularly if not every individual whom you're destined to meet can be regarded as completely honest and reliable. I also don't wait nor yearn for anybody to interact with me several times until they reach the point when we both consider each other as "friends". 
Alhamdulillah I'd say that while I have a lot of acquaintances of various tribes and nationalities, only a small number of them are individuals whose personal lives I genuinely care about for Allah's sake and out of that select few there could be less than a handful whom I'd regard as actual friends even if they probably perceive me as merely an acquaintance. 
How do I select my friends? Definitely not at random and not according to similarity. Just because someone is around my age, wears the niqaab when outdoors, can speak English fluently, was born in Saudi Arabia like I was or they enjoy writing poetry occasionally, it doesn't mean that I'll automatically become enthusiastic about befriending them, as if my main mission in life is to gather as many clones or carbon copies as I can to form some kind of battalion. 
What I'd usually do if I must categorize people is I would disqualify a person from being a "potential friend" once they've done any of these: 
1] if they deliberately lied to me more than once. 
2] if they caused me to waste time doing something pointless, absurd or unproductive more than once. 
3] if they're boring conversationalists online and offline, if they don't know how to have deep conversations, if you feel as though you're tediously interviewing or investigating them whenever you attempt to have a meaningful dialogue. 
4] if I overheard them cowardly backbiting about me or criticizing any of my loved ones, especially my dear husband. 
5] if we've known each other's names for more than five years but so far neither of us have taken the initiative to spend time together outdoors at least twice. 
6] if they regularly show signs of nervousness or discomfort whenever they speak with me, as though they're guilty of something and trying to conceal it. 
7] if they have a tendency to act overly emotional and passive-aggressive, if they've complained to any of my relatives about me instead of discussing the problem with me directly - I'd regard the snitch as someone whom I can't trust anymore because any information I try to share with them could be misconstrued. 
I'd consider someone as a friend if: 
1] I openly make effort to support their halal business or hobbies whenever I can online and/or offline. 
2] I don't feel bored asking them questions about themselves and their interests etc. 
3] I oftentimes go out of my way to visit them (at least once a year), send them a message (at least once every three months or so) or ask for their advice. 
Trying to maintain connection with lots of people can drain your energy if you're an introvert. So don't be surprised if some introverts aren't very likable or approachable, specifically if amassing fans or supporters isn't one of our primary goals.
~•~
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A man is upon the religion of his close friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2378
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Nawawi
📖 Abu Darda RadhiAllahu 'anhu said: "A righteous companion is better than loneliness, and loneliness is better than an evil companion. A good writer is better than one silent, and one silent is better than an evil writer."
Source: Rawdat Al-‘Uqalā 56