💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 Five ways to detect if a friend is too toxic:
1] Their mere presence makes you feel bad about yourself. They deliberately act as though they're perfect while you're always the one making mistakes, they pridefully brag about their accomplishments without consideration for what you lack, or they purposely treat you in a manner which leads to doubting your self-worth e.g. ignoring your salaams, making hurtful jokes about you, never taking initiative to reach out.
2] They insist (not advise or suggest) that you behave, dress and live exactly the way they do. "Don't eat that or you'll get fat.", "That outfit looks awful on you. You have zero fashion sense. Change it and copy our style." and "This person and so-and-so - don't ever visit them. Otherwise we'll stop hanging out with you too." are sample phrases that toxic "friends" say to control you.
3] Being overly controlling and domineering, they have unrealistically high expectations of you. They don't respect your need for space at times, instantly get offended if you didn't answer their messages straight away, and try to dictate most of your decisions, pressurizing you to do tasks that you're unable to carry out.
4] Instead of adding positive value to your life, they drain your energy. Their excessive complaints, incessant criticism, obsession with immature gossip, addiction to mocking people's flaws, or disrespectful indifference to your well-being cause you to wish you never met in the first place so you wouldn't have to tolerate their negative vibes.
5] They stubbornly repeat the same mistakes and do what bothers you. Even after apologizing, they still indulge in activities that you've warned against e.g. gossiping, posting cowardly passive-aggressive status updates, and openly supporting those who contradict the Sunnah of the beloved Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam.
🔹 How to deal with "frenemies" or toxic individuals:
1] Quit stalking their social media posts. Emotionally detach because we have nothing to do with them.
2] Minimize unnecessary interactions with those guilty of being untruthful, unreliable, gossipy, jealous, and manipulative.
3] Never disclose or reveal sensitive information, secrets or more personal details about yourself to them. Let them keep guessing what you're up to rather than updating them with your daily progress.
4] Forgive them for Allah's sake while maintaining self-preserving distance.
5] Learn from their mistakes. Also, if you truly cared about them, mention their names in your Du'as praying that Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala guides them.
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A man is upon the religion of his close friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2378
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Nawawi
