💌 When asked by a non-Muslim, "How can you marry someone you barely know?" or "Why start a family with a complete stranger? Shouldn't you go on dates first, observe if you're compatible, fall in love then propose and live happily ever after?" we unapologetically respond with "Alhamdulillah as Muslims, we live according to Allah's rules and strive to do only what He commanded. We avoid premarital relationships, waiting for marriage, not only because Allah the Almighty prohibited unlawful love or zina/fornication, but playing games with people's hearts temporarily then breaking up with them to find a different potential partner is a despicable abomination.
Since women in Islam have an honorable status being ordered by Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala to wear the hijab and clothes that are modest, preventing them from premarital relations is one way to emphasize they mustn't be treated as cheap objects.
A woman isn't a car that any man can give her a test drive to see if he likes the vehicle or not. Similarly a man who knows his duties to Allah the All-Knowing wouldn't put himself in an ignoble and obnoxious situation, lowering his manliness levels by running after several lovers before getting lawfully married, as though he is a stray puppy licking anything it gets its paws on in a dumpster until it finally found 'the one' it's been looking for.
True love in Islam is discovered, learned and valued after marriage. Muslims who are knowledgeable of what Allah expects them to be don't need to imitate the misguided societies that ironically idolize cheesy forbidden love stories while questioning the value of Islamic modesty and polygyny.
One beautiful aspect about Allah's prohibition of zina is that when a woman willingly accepts the marriage proposal of a man she never dated, after praying Salat Al-Istikhaara, is the feeling of contentment and gratitude within the wife and husband upon knowing that their soulmate was chosen by Allah the Most Wise with wisdom. Their marriage especially becomes a blessing by submitting to Allah's Will patiently. Mutually discovering more about each other in gradual stages after the wedding ceremony is what makes the journey of love more exciting, memorable and noteworthy."
How can a man find a pious wife if dating isn't permitted? He can consult his mother, sisters and aunties asking if they could suggest a lady whom they know who is willing to accept his marriage proposal or he can ask his friends and male colleagues if they're interested in having him as their future brother-in-law. In case that guy is a student or employee in an environment where males and females often interact for professional reasons, and he realizes he's "in love" with a hijabi or niqabi who is single, he can approach her guardians/wali, parents or brothers and propose after he prayed two Sunnah Rak'ahs of Salat Al-Istikhaara. Before the lady agrees or declines, it is recommended for her and the suitor to see each other face to face not in a secluded area but in the presence of her mahrams. If the woman said yes to the guy's proposal, Alhamdulillah, and if she rejected his proposal after seeing him personally, then he must patiently accept Allah's Decree. Forced marriages are not allowed in Islam. The guy can try proposing another time with a different woman when Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala knows both souls are beneficial for one another and ready to marry.
📖 From Al-Mugheerah ibn Shu’bah RadhiAllahu anhu: “I proposed marriage to a woman, and the Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: ‘Have you seen her?’ I said, ‘No.’ He SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, ‘Look at her, because it is more fitting that love and compatibility be established between you.’” According to another narration: “So he did that, and he married her and mentioned that they got along.”
(Reported by Al-Daaraqutni, 3/252 (31, 32); Ibn Maajah, 1/574)
https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/02/poem-genuine-love-is-in-getting-married.html
