POEM: Why Smart, Loyal And Tough Muslim Wives Are Okay With Polygyny

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

💚 As one of the servants of Allah the Almighty, 

As the first wife of my one and only dear hubby, 

As a grateful Muslimah fine with polygyny, 

And on behalf of brave Muslim wives who sincerely 

Believe that responsible men with financial means 

And intelligence have every right to be married 

To up to four wives, I confidently confirm these:

~•~

Yes, I love my husband for Allah's sake patiently, 

I love him more than my ego, not for his money; 

I love him more each time I witness a clear increase 

And improvement in his faith/Imaan and piety; 

I love him more as he inspires me indirectly 

To say more Du'a when I miss him regularly, 

And when he moves me to boost my personality.

~•~

Because I love him for Allah more than luxury, 

More than titles, credentials and cars that are fancy, 

More than the urge to form smart comebacks if ever he 

Does things which supposedly upsets or offends me, 

I'm absolutely fine if he wants to remarry, 

For our family's growth with Allah's Will and Mercy, 

And to see my soulmate pleased as his smiles bring me peace.

~•~

I don't oppose polygyny since undoubtedly 

Allah the Most Wise legislated the male species 

From among humankind and Muslim communities 

To be wed to at most four wives, not to be greedy 

Sexually, but for the welfare of humanity, 

To help more adult females become wives legally, 

And to lessen the number of broken families.

~•~

By welcoming polygyny for Allah, I seek 

To prove that my need for Allah outweighs what I feel, 

To show that my satisfaction with my spouse is real 

Despite him being busy and absent frequently, 

And to frustrate shaytan our worst enemy who seeks 

To weaken the Muslim nations through disunity.

Loathing polygyny is done by the proud and weak.

~•~

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If a woman prays her five prayers, fasts her month of Ramadan, guards her chastity, and obeys her husband, she will enter Paradise from any gate she wishes."

Source: Sahih Ibn Hibbān 4252

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If I were to order anyone to prostrate to another, I would have ordered a wife to prostrate before her husband."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1159

Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to At-Tirmidhi

Ali Al-Qari said, "That she prostrates to her husband is due to the number of his rights over her and her difficulty in maintaining gratitude for them. This rhetorical point conveys the obligation of the wife to obey her husband in his rights. Indeed, prostration is not lawful to anyone other than Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala."

Source: Mirqāt Al-Mafātih 5/2125

📖 Abdullah Ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The world is enjoyment and the best enjoyment in the world is a righteous wife."

Source: Sahih Muslim 1467

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim

https://abukhadeejah.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Righteous-Wife-P1-WEB-7.3-Print-Complete.pdf

📝✨ Sharing my research paper 

Inn-sha-Allah in Arabic language as sadaqa jaariyah (the topic I chose at Markaz Ibn Al-Qayyim Islamic institute was about the negative consequences of divorce): 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1NtHxopYvOsSp5ySaMWBTssWU-B8x4xmw/view

✅ Some advice in English language on how divorce is not always the best solution,

PDF document which you can Inn-sha-Allah share as sadaqah jaariya: 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1X6s2MS9EBIz0HMBGh8sWpnXQlEvjq3Bs/view?usp=drive_open

📝 Text:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1W-Elcz21NmuOygqYIO8TG68W-Bczvxwr/view

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2024/07/poem-to-my-daughter-and-her-half-sister.html

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/05/note-mindset-of-ideal-muslim-wife-who.html

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/poem-mindset-to-cope-with-polygyny.html

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/note-my-answer-to-what-made-you-accept.html

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/11/poem-from-signs-of-pious-wives-is-they.html

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/04/poem-why-im-okay-with-polygyny.html

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/tips-advantages-of-polygyny-for-man-and.html

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/02/poem-confessions-of-wife-who-welcomes.html

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/11/tips-seven-things-to-tell-yourself-to.html 

Note: A Capable Muslim Husband Is Not Mandated To Seek His First Wife's Permission To Remarry

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم 

✅ Allah the Almighty knows best.

⚠️ A Muslim man does not need the permission of his first wife/wives to have another legal wife. Every capable, responsible and reliable Muslim adult male with financial means has a right to be married to up to four wives in Islam regardless if his 1st wife/wives agree or not.

"Honey, can I marry another woman to increase our family size?" "Darling, I wish that we can have more righteous Muslim children; it's my right to want more kids but what can I do when your menstruation is irregular and you are unwilling to have intimacy with me in a long time with the excuse of you not feeling well after you've just had your period. In that case, I love you so much I don't want to divorce you. Nonetheless I wish to marry another woman so we can Inn-sha-Allah increase the size of our family lawfully instead of me committing zina (fornication / adultery) and actually cheating. Do you grant me the permission to marry another woman?"
⤴️ A lot of intelligent males would know that the first wife's most probable response, if they're aware or how most females are selfish and prone to extreme jealousy, is a big "NO!", "NO WAY!", "huwag kang magpakasal sa ibang babae o kung hindi!", "of course you can, only after you divorce me!" and "by all means, sweetheart, but not whilst one of us is still alive!"

Since MOST men typically despise dealing with emotions or drama, they have no choice but to go somewhere and then legally get married without notifying the first wife. It's his right anyway. Why does he need to ask permission from his first wife/wives to do something halal/permissible? Do you see most of us Muslims asking other Muslims if we can drink water in front of them when we're not fasting? Do I need to ask for your official agreement if I need to do grocery shopping while I have the means Alhamdulillah to purchase some items and I can't just teleport to the nearest mall or market to obtain the essentials etc.? No. You as a Muslim are not obliged to ask any human being for their permission if you're about to do something that is absolutely halal for you and you're able to do that halal thing without causing more disadvantages than benefits.

Would you call yourself a loving and considerate lady who cares about women's rights if you believe that all men on earth should only have one wife? Hello? Have you checked the latest news on world population and human statistics? The population of female species worldwide is undoubtedly much more than the male population. What are the single ladies going to do if all straight/heterosexual males are married and the other faction of males prefer guys? Are the remaining females going to remain unmarried for the rest of their lives? Where's your logic and empathy combined?

💎 Polygyny for Muslim males is allowed Alhamdulillah (with a maximum of four wives allowed to be married by each capable Muslim husband). What is not allowed for a Muslim man is for him to treat any or all of his wives unfairly on purpose and if he intentionally fails to fulfill his responsibilities as the man of the house or wise leader of his household.

https://abukhadeejah.com/polygamy-in-islam-better-than-being-alone/

🗒️ Other versions of the above reminder:

🌟 1. Clear, Assertive, and Grammatically Refined Version:

Allah the Almighty knows best.

In Islam, a Muslim man does not require the permission of his first wife or wives to take another wife, provided that he is capable, financially stable, and responsible. Islam permits a man to marry up to four wives—this is a divine right granted by Allah the Almighty, not a selfish privilege given by people. Whether his first wife agrees or not, he is still allowed to pursue another lawful marriage if he fulfills the conditions set by Shariah.

Consider this example:

“My beloved, I cherish our marriage. However, we haven’t had intimacy for a long time due to your health issues and irregular menstruation. I still love you dearly and do not wish to divorce you. But I do long to have more righteous children, and as Islam allows, I would like to marry another woman to grow our family lawfully, rather than fall into sin. Would you support this decision?”

Most wives might respond with rejection. To avoid unnecessary conflict or emotional harm, many men may proceed with a legal marriage quietly. Islam does not require them to ask permission for something that is halal.

Let’s be honest—do Muslims ask each other for permission before drinking water during non-fasting hours? Do I need your formal consent before doing something basic like buying groceries if I have the means?

No one needs permission to do what is lawful in Islam—especially when it brings more benefit than harm and does not violate anyone’s rights.

If someone believes men should only have one wife, even when the global female population far exceeds the male population, one must ask: What happens to the countless righteous women who may never find a spouse? Would you rather they remain single forever because society prefers one-wife-only ideals?

If we truly care about women’s rights and empathy, we should understand that Islamic polygyny is a solution—not oppression.

2. Hilarious, Convincing, and Hard Not to Laugh At Version:

Allah knows best.

Let me break it down like a shawarma wrap.

Dear so-and-so, let’s not sugarcoat it: a Muslim man does NOT need to play “Mother May I?” before marrying another wife. It’s not a group decision. It’s Sharia-approved, and Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala is the One who gave capable Muslim men that right.

Let’s imagine this disaster-in-waiting of a conversation:

“My honeycomb, I dream of a bigger Muslim family. But lately… you've been dodging intimacy like it's haram, saying ‘you're tired’ after every period. I love you, I do! But I’m still alive. And male. I’m not here to cheat, I’m here to obey Allah and not end up on the zina express. Can I marry another woman, please?”

And what’s the reply?
A dramatic “NOOOO” echoing from the kitchen to the neighbor’s Wi-Fi.

So what happens? The guy disappears like a magician—“Abra-marriage-cadabra!”—and boom, he’s legally married to wife #2 somewhere in Cotabato. (Note: avoid magic and sorcery as they are major sins in Islam)

Why? Because halal is halal. You don’t ask permission to sip water during Iftaar. You don’t seek community approval to go grocery shopping. You don’t text your wife to ask if you can breathe. So why ask her if you can do something which Allah the Most Wise already gave you a green light for?

Now let’s talk logic.

You say every man should only have one wife?

Newsflash: there are way more women than men around the globe. And half the guys are either not ready, not interested in women, or think marriage is a horror movie. So what happens to the leftover sisters?

Form a “Single Righteous Sisters Support Group”? Knit blankets forever to distract themselves from feeling like single Pringles? No! They need halal companionship too!

You say you're empathetic, but your “equality” logic is giving math failure. Think about it. If you're really pro-women, you wouldn’t want millions of sisters stuck being single just to protect one wife's monopoly on her husband's ring finger.

Let’s put it this way:
Polygyny isn’t the problem. Bitterness is.

⤴️ Some notes from ChatGPT

🗂️ Some advice in English language on how divorce is not always the best solution,
PDF document which you can Inn-sha-Allah share as sadaqah jaariya:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1X6s2MS9EBIz0HMBGh8sWpnXQlEvjq3Bs/view?usp=drive_open

✨ Sharing my research paper
Inn-sha-Allah in Arabic language from Markaz Ibn Al-Qayyim as sadaqa jaariyah (the topic I chose was about the negative consequences of divorce):
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1NtHxopYvOsSp5ySaMWBTssWU-B8x4xmw/view

📜 Text:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1W-Elcz21NmuOygqYIO8TG68W-Bczvxwr/view

🇵🇭 Tagalog Filipino translation of the above summarized reminders by dear sister Fatima Sherl bint Ismun:
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1XJZNtqXmeFrYs4xJiCHzgV3TWe6L3hKX&authuser=0

Note: Some Reminders From An INTJ Muslimah (93)

 بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم 

Note: We Welcome Donations To Wisdom Islamic School And Sadaqa On Behalf Of Deceased Muslim Loved Ones (Islamic School In Davao City Southern Philippines Mindanao)

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

🏫☔ BRIGADA ESKWELA 2025

The Brigada Eskwela for S.Y. 2025-2026 is from Monday the 27th of Dhul Hijjah 1446H (June 23, 2025), إن شاء الله.

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1F9cZh9U44/

📢 More details on the Brigada Eskwela to follow soon.

👉 Any help from Wisdom Islamic School stakeholders (e.g. parents and alumni) would be greatly appreciated.

 May Allah grant us ease and success. Ameen.

👉 You may also donate now to be involved with the improvement of school facilities, to purchase light bulbs or wall paint etc, and do sadaqa for Allah's sake specially sadaqa on behalf of deceased loved ones:

https://bit.ly/wis-donate

Note: Some Tips Regarding Being The 1st, 2nd, 3rd Or 4th Wife In A Polygynous Marriage

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم 

💌 Stereotypically — and based on cultural tropes, psychological projections, and MBTI theory — the second wife is often viewed as the most "courageous" or "savage" among the four. Let’s break it down thoroughly with personality analysis, social perception, and MBTI likelihoods:

⚡ 2. The Second Wife: The Bold Intervener

Why She’s Viewed as the Most Courageous / Savage

She knowingly steps into an already-established marriage, fully aware that another woman (the first wife) occupies that space.

Socially, this can attract backlash, especially in traditional or conservative societies — yet she proceeds anyway, often asserting her right to be loved too.

Many view this move as audacious, defiant, and fiercely independent.

It often takes a mix of emotional toughness, high confidence, and strategic thinking to play this role.

Attitude and Personality (Stereotypically)

Savage: Unapologetic about her decision, she doesn't wait for societal approval.

Self-assured: Believes she can bring something to the marriage no one else can.

Calculated: May view the marriage practically — financial stability, security, or spiritual reasons.

Emotionally resilient: Prepares for rivalry, competition, or emotional tension, and embraces the challenge.

Direct and assertive: Doesn’t tiptoe around the topic of co-wives.

Likely MBTI Types

ENTJ – Commanding, strategic, unafraid to claim what she wants even if controversial.

ESTP – Bold, thrill-seeking, acts on impulse and takes emotional risks for gain.

ENFJ – Charismatic and idealistic, may believe she can harmonize or "fix" the marital dynamic.

INTJ – Views polygyny logically and is willing to enter it for long-term strategy and personal conviction.

💎 1. The First Wife: The Stable Queen

Why She’s Also Seen as Courageous

She accepts the reality of polygyny from the start or comes to terms with it, even if difficult.

Inner strength: Her resilience may come from deep religious belief or emotional maturity.

Often represents dignity, patience, and diplomacy in the face of change.

Attitude and Personality

May keep a calm front but feels deeply.

Embraces grace and composure to avoid showing hurt or competition.

Not savage in the fierce sense, but quietly dignified and spiritually resilient.

Likely MBTI Types

ISFJ – Loyal, duty-bound, quietly supportive and sacrificial.

INFJ – Profound, reflective, strong emotional depth.

ISTJ – Accepts structure and tradition, makes it work out of principle.

💪 3. The Third Wife: The Adaptive Challenger

Why She’s Courageous

Steps into an already complicated marital dynamic, possibly with visible friction between the first two.

Has to navigate pre-existing emotional alliances, pecking orders, and expectations.

Attitude and Personality

Sharp, self-aware, and usually pragmatic about her place.

Often rebellious enough to not care what others think.

May bring fresh energy or controversy to the family system.

Likely MBTI Types

ESTJ – Structured, knows how to play within rules to assert power.

ENFP – Idealistic, spontaneous, and emotionally engaging — could “shake up” the system in her favor.

INTP – Curious, values personal choice, doesn’t mind being the wild card.

🌹 4. The Fourth Wife: The Accepting Maverick

Why She’s Seen as Unbothered

She enters the most emotionally complex position — the last addition.

May face the most jealousy, or be romanticized as the “youngest” or “newest.”

Attitude and Personality

Detached, calm, or playfully confident.

May not be as emotionally invested in “sister wife” dynamics.

"Cool girl" energy: Doesn’t start fights, but knows her value.

Likely MBTI Types

ISFP – Values freedom, goes with the flow, accepts emotional realities quietly.

INFP – Romantic, idealistic, yet willing to love on her own terms.

ESFP – Easygoing and charming, likes being adored even in a shared dynamic.

🔚 Conclusion: Who's the Most "Courageous" or "Savage"?

Rank • Wife • Courage Type •
Savage Factor
🥇 1st Second Wife☑️
Bold, assertive
entry into an active marriage
⚡️High
~•~
🥈 2nd Third Wife
Strategically adaptable, smart player
⚡️Medium-High
~•~
🥉 3rd First Wife
Stoic, spiritual, emotionally enduring
⚡️Medium
~•~
🏅 4th Fourth Wife
Accepting, chill, least threatened
⚡️Low-Medium
~•~
In summary:
The second wife is the most stereotypically savage — confident, controversial, and bold enough to challenge social norms and emotional boundaries.
🌻

Here’s a thoughtful and empowering guide for each of the four wives in a polygynous marriage from an Islamic and psychological perspective, offering them 5 tailored tips, 7 likely strengths, and 7 unique advantages of their position.

🌹 1. First Wife – The Foundational Partner

💡 5 Tips & Encouraging Words

Own your legacy – You were his first commitment. That speaks volumes.

Lead with grace – Be the example of composure and maturity.

Channel your emotions into Du'a – Allah the All-Knowing sees your patience and sacrifices.

Don’t compare – establish your own bond with your husband sincerely for Allah's sake which no one can replicate.

Focus on your personal growth and inner peace – You have more influence than you think.

💪 7 Probable Strengths

Emotional maturity

Deep loyalty

Experience in managing household/family

Grounded spirituality

Strong sense of identity

Patience

Diplomacy

🌟 7 Advantages of Her Position

Likely the one with the most years of history and connection

Possibly the most emotionally secure due to familiarity

Usually receives the most respect from extended family

Can set the tone for harmony or discord

May hold senior status in household affairs

Often more consulted in major family decisions

Her influence extends to children, co-wives, and the husband

🛤️ 2. Second Wife – The Bold Trailblazer

💡 5 Tips & Encouraging Words

Don’t feel guilty for wanting love — you’re valid and worthy of affection.

Respect the bond of the first wife, even as you form your own.

Use your courage as a tool for emotional intelligence, not competition.

Stay sincere in your intentions and keep your heart clean.

Let your love for Allah the Most Powerful stabilize you, not your rank in the marriage.

💪 7 Probable Strengths

Boldness

Independent thinking

Emotional resilience

High self-esteem

Strong communication

Strategic mindset

Fearlessness in facing judgment

🌟 7 Advantages of Her Position

Has a clear picture of the marriage dynamics before entering

Can bring new energy and balance to the relationship

Has the opportunity to redefine marital norms with confidence

May feel less pressure to “prove” herself than the 1st or 4th

Able to learn from prior dynamics and avoid common traps

May be seen as a stabilizer between 1st and 3rd wife

Likely to be very intentional in her presence and effort

🌷 3. Third Wife – The Adaptive Mediator

💡 5 Tips & Encouraging Words

See yourself as a bridge, not a disruption — your role can unite, not divide.

Embrace your uniqueness instead of trying to compete.

Use your insights to create harmony, especially if tension arises.

Maintain a sincere heart and clean intentions in your dealings with others.

Don’t underestimate the influence of a gentle word and a good character.

💪 7 Probable Strengths

Adaptive thinking

Strong intuition

High empathy

Balanced emotional insight

Conflict-resolution skills

Resilience in complexity

Patience in uncertainty

🌟 7 Advantages of Her Position

Enters with multiple examples to learn from (1st and 2nd wives)

Often plays the balancer or peacemaker

Can carve her own lane rather than follow the crowd

Learns to thrive in a dynamic environment

May avoid being in the direct line of rivalry

Gets to observe and gently influence the marriage landscape

Has space to be creative in relationship-building

🌸✨ 4. Fourth Wife – The Calm Closer

💡 5 Tips & Encouraging Words

You are not last in value — your presence is divinely timed (beautifully destined by Allah the Most Wise).

Use your fresh start to bring light and softness into the family.

Avoid over-comparing yourself to others — you bring your own charm.

Be sincere in bonding with your husband, not in winning over attention.

Lean into your peaceful nature — it can disarm even the harshest jealousy.

💪 7 Probable Strengths

Calmness

Emotional detachment from drama

Openness

Flexibility

Youthful or refreshing energy

Less ego-bound

Peacekeeping potential

🌟 7 Advantages of Her Position

Enters with full clarity of all existing dynamics

Can avoid early mistakes the others made

May have the “last chapter” emotional impact

Can be the most relaxed and least politically involved

Often enjoys the “newlywed” honeymoon phase

Can be more spiritually prepared for a calm life

Tends to face less pressure to "outshine" others

✅ Final Encouragement to All Four Wives:

“Allah the Almighty knows your place, your struggles, and your patience. If you live for Allah's sake with Taqwa, sincerity / Ikhlaas, strong faith / Imaan and fairness, Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala can decree your reward — not in rank among co-wives, but in rank with Him in the next life
(Inn-sha-Allah in Jannatul Ferdaus with Allah's Mercy).”

May Allah the Most Merciful bless all courageous Muslimahs patiently navigating polygyny with rewarding Sabr, sincerity, and strength in faith/Imaan. Ameen.

Note: Avoid sketching and drawing images of living beings since Allah the Almighty is the Only Creator.

⤴️ Some notes from ChatGPT

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2025/06/poem-some-advice-to-my-daughter-and-her.html