Note: Tips On How Not To Be That Extremely Jealous Wife

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 Answering a sister in Islam who asked for advice on how to deal with feeling extremely jealous whenever she notices females liking and reacting to her husband's status updates. Posting my response here in case other wives can relate. Alhamdulillah as I've mentioned before, I am not "Facebook friends" with my husband and brothers, though I genuinely love them for Allah's sake, because I don't want them commenting on my posts or responding to others' comments and whatnot. Yes I regularly communicate with my husband on Facebook messenger application, yet when it comes to knowing what he posts on his timeline and paying attention to who tags him etc. I choose to be completely unaware, indifferent and oblivious, not because I don't care about his online presence but to protect myself from unnecessary drama, since I can imagine myself getting into a dramatically furious debate every time a female colleague or acquaintance from his college years would comment or react to a status update of his.
Whenever I check my husband's timeline on browser to send him a direct message, I willfully refuse to scroll down his timeline, even if I notice a part of the topmost status update from one of his Facebook friends, and they happen to be female, tagging him along with several other users. "Ignorance is bliss" can be useful in cases like these, where not having all the facts concerning a circumstance is a way of protecting yourself from needless emotional stress.
Alhamdulillah I also don't scan through his mobile phones even if he makes them easily accessible for me, although I can visualize my husband at times communicating with some females due to a necessity, seeing how he works as a medical doctor.
From my perception, one of the signs you truly love your spouse for Allah's sake is to decisively trust them and display that you recognize the potential in your other half in being trustworthy, just as you'd like it if your soulmate doesn't mistrust and suspect you. Generally it is improbable for a decent person to show willingness in being close to someone who finds it difficult to trust them. If you can't trust me, then why should I trust you? If you constantly assume I shouldn't be trusted, why would I bother investing love and energy on somebody who rejects my loyalty and reliability?
🔸 Tips on how not to be that obsessively protective wife who jealously hates it when other women interact with her husband:
1] Always trust Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala Who sees everyone and everything. Understand that even if you hired some individuals to spy on your husband, to ensure he isn't cheating on you or flirting around with others, you still won't have all the intricate details of what your husband is doing when you and your recruited forces aren't watching. Let Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala deal with His servants.
2] While being triggered with feelings of jealousy is a natural tendency for many females, acting irrational upon envy indicates massive insecurity and lack of self-esteem.
Wives who are confident in themselves, while trusting Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala at all times, do not behave with an annoyingly clingy and possessive attitude.
Children who don't want their favorite toy destroyed or lost is a cute and understandable thing, while seeing a kid have tantrums each time another child tries to converse with the plaything seems like they were brought up to be awfully paranoid, selfish or unsympathetic. Be your husband's faithful wife who trusts him, not one to overreact feeling threatened by other female species.
3] Respectfully remind your husband to lower his gaze as a pious Muslim is expected to, and let him know that wherever he goes, he's always being watched by Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala while there are special Angels assigned to record every statement he purposely says and every action he chooses to do.
4] Include your husband in your loving Du'as often, praying that Allah the Most Merciful keeps his faith/Imaan strong and protects him from anything that can lead to fitna.
5] On Judgment Day Inn-sha-Allah all of the deeds of Allah's servants can be revealed if Allah Wills. So if your husband ever did anything that he shouldn't have done in this world, eventually you'll discover it on the Day of Resurrection. You don't need to act like a female investigator who scrutinizes her subject's every move.
Your husband should be your sweetheart who can accompany you in your journey towards Jannah Paradise, not a subject matter to investigate 24/7.
📖 Anas Ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever Allah provides with a righteous wife, Allah has assisted him in half of his religion. Let him fear Allah regarding the other half."
Source: Al-Mu’jam Al-Awsat 992
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Suyuti
📖 Abdullah Ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The world is enjoyment and the best enjoyment in the world is a righteous wife."
Source: Sahih Muslim 1467
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If a woman prays her five prayers, fasts her month of Ramadan, guards her chastity, and obeys her husband, she will enter Paradise from any gate she wishes."
Source: Sahih Ibn Hibbān 4252
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani