💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 Seven questions related to love life:
1💗 When you were single, what was the perfect marriage life you dreamt of having?
Marriage with a tall handsome guy preferably of a different nationality. At one point as a preteen, I also specified wishing I would have two sons and two daughters.
2💗 How many marriage proposals did you receive back then and why did you reject them?
Several, one from a childhood friend who grew up with me where we were born in Saudi Arabia namely Dammam or Al-Khobar; I saw him like a younger brother in Islam (think of the term "friendzoned"). One from a pious Pakistani family who had an aim to memorize the Noble Qur'an; he seemed too soft and shy for me while I was the ignorant type of rebellious teen who had no idea previously about the virtues of marriage at a young age. One from a Filipino who was to reside in Madinah; he was around my height and baby-faced, while I was ignorantly judgmental back then. AstaghfurAllah Al-'Atheem. One from a Filipino living in the US but my parents (Allah yarhamhuma. Ameen.) canceled his proposal without letting me decide as they likely didn't want me to have a modernistic, materialistic and misguided lifestyle.
3💗 What's it like being married to your cousin?
Alhamdulillah it's allowed for cousins to marry each other in Islam, as the noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu alaihi wa sallam was married to his first cousin Zainab bint Jahsh RadhiAllahu anha. Male and female cousins are not mahrams to one another so it's not a taboo for cousin marriages to take place. It's sad how in a few communities a cousin may be attracted to another cousin yet they can't get married lawfully because they're dictated by society to wrongly assume that cousins are just like siblings when in reality that's not the case. Just because they're related in the family tree somehow doesn't make it wrong for cousins to get married. Similarly, just because tomatoes aren't sweet, this doesn't abrogate the fact that a tomato is a fruit, not vegetable.
4💗 Why do you strongly advocate and support polygyny?
If bringing back the Sunnah of the beloved Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu alaihi wa sallam is one of the main reasons to be worthy of Jannah's entry then Alhamdulillah I'm up for it. Another reason why I want my husband to be wed to up to four wives besides having more righteous children is to have co-wives who treat me like sisters or besties to me since I don't have a blood sister of my own. Ironically the second wife is currently missing in action but the doors to friendship remain open until Allah the Most Merciful guides her to being a pious niqabi Muslimah someday.
5💗 You act like polygyny is a simple project which anyone can do effortlessly. Do you have it easy?
No. If some couples find problems and get into frequent fights even in a monogamous marriage life, can you imagine the extra load of problematic issues if there are multiple wives? Polygyny means the responsible husband is duty bound to care for all his wives as fairly as he can, financially, physically and emotionally. In polygyny, each co-wife, regardless if you're the "loyal first lover", second so-called "homewrecker", third "peacemaker" or fourth "troublemaker", you constantly battle against a whirlwind of emotions from feeling lonesome when your husband is away, controlling your jealousy when he mentions the other wife's name, and getting inappropriately smug and proud when your husband arrives to spend time with you. Still, because you know the immense rewards of staying patient for Allah's sake, you love the feeling of being challenged when it comes to faith and romance. The better of co-wives is not the one who is most spoiled by the husband's attention, but the wife who perseveres in loving her spouse for Allah's sake, accepting Allah's Qadr and she holds no resentful grudges against the other wives of her husband and their children.
6💗 Is it possible to fall in love with others even when you're married?
I believe yes for some, especially when you can't help but feel that someone is so relatable to you, struggling to find peace in connecting to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala and feeling as though you don't belong in this temporal Dunya as you both prefer Jannatul Ferdaus. There are souls that I like for Allah's sake yet my husband stays at the very top of the list of living humans I'm romantically in love with. Marriage is a blessing when it protects you from wanting to be involved in forbidden relationships.
Clearly it's the evil whisperings/waswaas from shaytan that destruct peaceful marriages by tempting a spouse to look for joy in the major sin adultery. When tested by this, one should remain firm, stay content with the husband whom Allah wisely selected and lower one's gaze whenever needed.
7💗 What advice can you give to couples in unhappy marriages?
You have freewill to choose between two options: You can leave that "unhappy marriage life" searching for a different one as you slightly regret leaving the spouse whom Allah the Most Wise destined you to marry. Or you can willfully change an unhappy marriage into a beautiful love story that could continue up to Jannah Paradise if you keep loving your spouse for Allah's sake patiently. One bad chapter in your marriage life shouldn't lead to the end of your romance. A strong marriage isn't one that is completely free from arguments and misunderstandings, but it's a blissful journey of lovers who fight to stay together in spite of some differences or distance.
🌻 Ibn Hibbaan narrated that Abu Hurairah RadhiAllahu anhu said that Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu alaihi wa sallam said: "If a woman prays her five daily prayers, fasts her month (Ramadan), guards her chastity and obeys her husband, it will be said to her: ‘Enter Paradise from whichever of the gates of Paradise you wish.’" Classed as Sahih by Al-Albaani in Saheeh Al-Jaami’ no. 660
