💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
📜 Question: My problem is in my relationship with the people. There are those around whom I feel comfortable, and I socialize with them, and I find from among them friends and like-minded companions. I feel at ease when I interact with them although they are very few. And there is another category of individuals with whom I'm not interested in befriending nor do I feel any eagerness to speak with them, and I absolutely do not feel comfortable around their presence. I find that my nature does not vibe well with their temperament. Sometimes I feel anxious or vulnerable whenever I must stay in the same place with them, communicate with them or deal with them in any way, whether I'm connected to some of them by family ties, or they're colleagues at work, and whatnot. The thought of being obliged to interact with them or look at them cheerfully actually bothers me. Our inability to harmoniously connect has caused me to isolate and distance myself from those kinds of people. In fact, I feel more relaxed whenever I keep myself away from their likes so that I have more quality time with reciting from the Noble Qur'an and reading beneficial books. (Is it okay to behave in such manner, like a loner who enjoys being solitary, as a Muslim?)
📝 Answer: It is upon you to do what you believe is best for your heart, and to choose the friends and companions who are righteous. As for those whom you avoid and whose nature you do not gravitate towards, and you do not feel eager to mingle with them, then stay away from them, and choose for yourself what is the most beneficial, even if your choice is to be in your home reading from the Noble Qur'an, saying Adhkaar like 'SubhanAllah' and 'Laa ilaaha ilAllah' and so forth. The true believer takes accountability for himself/herself and strives to choose only the pious and good friends while avoiding people who incline to wickedness, ensuring that one selects the most ideal friend in the most suitable times. You train yourself to pursue only what is best and safest for your Deen, so you carefully select righteous friends and conceal their shortcomings as you benefit from their good companionship. Stay away from the wicked people even if they happen to be relatives so their toxic qualities or wrongful conduct do not have a negative impact on you. Do not make yourself tolerate what you are unable to handle.
In contrast, if you do not enjoy the friendship of the righteous Muslims, then this is an illness in your heart, if they are indeed good people who strive to be pious Muslims. Fight against your nafs to befriend them so you can benefit from their righteous companionship.
And if you continue to feel uncomfortable around them because of an illness in your heart that is a result of some sins you may have committed previously, then don't worry about it. It is upon you to befriend the righteous, to have patience with them, and to benefit from their good company despite feeling restless or uncomfortable at times, because befriending the righteous Muslims doesn't come except with blessings and goodness. As for befriending the wicked people, then it is a means to evil.
Thus, the solution to your problem is to make decisions based on what you believe is best for your heart and what is most useful for your Deen when it comes to socializing and choosing to isolate. So you mix with the righteous Muslims who have good character and whose companionship can benefit you in both worlds, and you stay away from whoever's companionship only harms you whether they are your relatives or they are outsiders. And your house is much better for you than sitting with whoever can only harm you and with whom you are unwilling to befriend due to their evil actions, unpleasant qualities or bad manners.
We ask Allah the Almighty to grant us success. Ameen.
From the Fataawa of sheikh AbdulAziz Ibn Baz (May Allah have mercy on him. Ameen.)
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https://binbaz.org.sa/fatwas/16934/%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%AD%D8%AB-%D8%B9%D9%84%D9%89-%D8%A7%D8%AE%D8%AA%D9%8A%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%B5%D8%AF%D9%82%D8%A7%D8%A1-%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%81%D8%B6%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%A1
