๐ In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
๐ Question: What advice can you give to an unmarried Muslimah who feels very eager to marry a seemingly pious Muslim man, whether he is already married or still single?
๐ Answer: Allah the Almighty knows best.
1] Cautiously analyze your feelings of attraction and try to figure out why you find this guy attractive. If his outward good looks, physique and personality are what cause you to feel attracted, but he lacks sufficient qualities to be worthy of being your husband in the future, then alter your overall perception of him, for Allah's sake abstain from interacting with each other as much as possible, and consider him as just a distraction from your goals if he doesn't have the guts to carry out a marriage proposal in a halal way.
2] If you adamantly sense that you can
Inn-sha-Allah become happier and more successful in both worlds as this Muslim's future wife, then inform your parents about your serious interest in marrying a man whom you believe is a nice match for you.
They can Inn-sha-Allah assist you in arranging your marriage to him at the most befitting time.
If your mother and father aren't alive, you may consult your paternal male relatives (male mahrams from your father's side, not your mother's side as they're not as closely related to you as your father's male relatives) starting from your (paternal) grandfather, brother / brothers, half brother / half brothers, paternal uncles, paternal nephews (sons of one's brother from the same father) etc.
If not one paternal male mahram is available to be your waliyy (guardian), your maternal grandfather and uncles may help you with marrying the Muslim whom you wish to marry for Allah's sake, in case a Muslim leader who is more qualified and suitable to act as your waliyy (guardian) isn't around to assist with the matrimonial rites. Allah the Most Wise knows best.
3] Remember to pray the two Sunnah Rak'ahs of Salat Al-Istikhaara before informing a male mahram (your father, grandfather, brother etc.) regarding your willingness to marry a certain individual whom they can speak to directly.
If things work out and your father, grandfather, brothers etc. informed you that the man is willing to be your spouse then Alhamdulillah. If not, then patiently accept Allah's Qadr / Decree and understand that Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala has better plans for you.
๐ Note: Even if you and that man become officially engaged, you still can't go on "dates" nor meet in seclusion since you're not yet connected until the advent of the actual Nikaah / Waleemah / marriage ceremony.
4] If the man whom you're interested in marrying for Allah's sake happens to be the brother of a close friend of yours, you may discuss the matter with her after you've prayed Salat Al-Istikhaara. Never log in to her social media accounts pretending to be her with the motive to persuade him to consider you as his future wife. Lies, deception and bad intentions are obstacles to a blessed marriage life.
5] Even prior to considering a decent Muslim as your future husband and potential soulmate, do what you can for Allah's sake to ensure that you likewise have the characteristics which are necessary to being an ideal partner and righteous Muslim wife. Don't be one of those immodest females who enjoy uploading selfies and photos of themselves intending to search for the "perfect" guy.
~•~
๐ Aisha RadhiAllahu 'anha narrated: I said, “O Messenger of Allah, should women be asked for their consent (permission) before marriage?” The Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Yes." I said, “Indeed, sometimes a virgin is too shy to speak when asked.” The Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Her silence (not resisting or complaining) is her consent."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 6946
Sahih Muslim 1420
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim
