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๐ Question: Recently I overheard one of my half-sisters confessing to a close friend of hers about how she actually feels very jealous of me for several reasons. Now I've figured out that her aloofness and disrespectful acts are triggered by her despicable feelings of envy. What should I do to cope with envious siblings who can't suppress their intense jealousy regardless of my efforts to be fair and kind towards them?
๐ Answer: Allah the Almighty knows best.
✅ 5 Dos regarding jealous siblings (whether full biological siblings, half-siblings or step-siblings):
1] Learn to develop and maintain patience for Allah's sake, in the same way that the Prophet Yusuf 'alaihis salaam was also patient and forgiving towards his half-brothers.
2] Firmly believe that you're not the only person in this entire universe who sometimes struggles from sibling rivalry or occasional mistreatment from rivals guilty of intense jealousy. Consider the fact that having some enemies or haters is an indication of your success, with Allah's Will, and ownership of notable qualities which those insecure bullies lack.
3] Steadfastly say Du'a and ask Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala for more guidance regarding how to intelligently deal with envious people including siblings who are severely jealous of you.
4] Be humble and strong enough to advise and assist your siblings, despite their undeniable jealousy, when it comes to helping them for Allah's sake with only what is lawful.
5] Indirectly inspire them to become better Muslims by consistently maintaining Taqwa, fearing just Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala, and implementing beautiful character wherever you are.
❎ 5 Don'ts regarding jealous siblings (whether full biological siblings, half-siblings or step-siblings), as much as possible, avoid these:
1• Don't trust them fully and don't expect them to be wholeheartedly trustworthy. Never seek their advice because seeing you improve and succeed simply increases their inward misery.
2• Don't be surprised if they regularly ignore a lot of your messages, purposely delay answering your queries or exclude you from a number of gatherings frequently. Many foes and narcissists make lousy attempts to distress you to prevent you from achieving your goals. If they don't notice you thriving or doing better than them in life, while Tawfeeq only comes from Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala, they'd be less emotionally disturbed through envying you.
3• Never tell them about your visions, dreams, plans and most personal thoughts in the same way that the Prophet Yusuf / Joseph 'alaihis salaam was also advised by his father Prophet Ya'qub / Jacob 'alaihis salaam to refrain from narrating his special dream to his half-brothers. Imagine envious people as puppets of nosy spies who are inwardly dissatisfied with themselves, and they're being dictated by those obnoxious pranksters to treat you badly to distract themselves from their inward miseries and insecurities. Stubbornly refuse to confide in anybody guilty of intense envy concerning anything because you can sense for sure they're mostly pretending while confirming they're truly untrustworthy.
4• Don't waste your energy, time and good deeds backbiting about them even if they likely gossip about you now and then.
5• Don't bother being curious about what they post online since nothing positive and meaningful can be obtained from the actions and statements of jealous individuals.
๐ Note: Remind yourself that even though they're part of your family (as they're your siblings, half-siblings etc.) and you should do what you can to take good care of them for Allah's sake, it is for your own well-being to avoid being too close to them or influenced by them if they make it obvious they're still intensely envious of the tests and blessings which Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala chose to bestow upon you.
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๐ Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Do not envy one another, do not outbid each other, do not hate one another, do not turn away from each other, and do not outsell each other. Rather, be servants of Allah (The Almighty) as brothers. The Muslim is the brother of another Muslim. He does not wrong him, nor humiliate him, nor look down upon him. Righteousness is here," and he Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam pointed to his chest three times. The Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "It is enough evil for a man to look down upon his Muslim brother. The entirety of the Muslim is sacred to another Muslim: his life, his wealth, and his (honor or image) reputation."
Source: Sahih Muslim 2564
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim
๐ Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Faith (Imaan) and envy do not combine within a believing servant."
In another narration, the Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Greed and faith (Imaan) are never combined in the heart of a (true Muslim) servant."
Source: Sunan Al-Nasā’ī 3109
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani
๐ Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Beware of envy, for it erases good deeds just as fire devours wood or grass."
Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4903
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Suyuti
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