Note: Tips To Let Go Of Long-Term Grudges

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 It is understandable to hold a grudge against somebody who purposely hurt you and they never directly apologized for the injustice they caused. It doesn't make sense however to hate a complete stranger, such as a vlogger or "social media influencer" who isn't even aware yet of your presence, and an acquaintance who already said they were sorry, following up with kind favors to compensate for their mistakes.
Hating certain individuals for Allah's sake doesn't mean we behave barbarically towards them but we avoid getting too close to their negative influence.
🔸 Tips to stop despising a person, particularly a relative or colleague, so your heart can be free from the heavy burden of resentment:
1] Understand they're Allah's slaves, humans who are prone to forgetting and making errors occasionally. Someday on the Day of Judgment all of us, including them, will be questioned for what we did intentionally.
2] Remember all the pleasant actions they've done for us in the past, such as the freebies they gave and free rides they offered. Recall their positive qualities, the special roles they have in the Muslim community, and the acts of generosity they can offer.
3] Imagine them dying or receiving news of them having passed away. Will your long-term grudge and prideful ego benefit you on land and in your own grave?
4] Courageously attempt to sympathize with those whom you can't like. Realize it's not their fault that they seem to be too different from you. Know that they similarly have their own set of struggles, insecurities and problems they often deal with.
5] If you can't learn to appreciate them, at least don't be a toxic hater or troublesome "troll". Unfollow them on Facebook, don't watch their YouTube videos, and quit stalking their posts and messages online. Don't be one of those insecure users who post passive-aggressive status updates about the people they envy and can't stand.
While it is better to minimize interacting with those who disagree with our values, our disagreements or differences shouldn't make us forget about the virtues of maintaining good character. Their tendency to gossip, backbite and deliberately tell lies is not an invitation for us to copy their toxic lifestyles. Disliking flies and mosquitoes for being annoying doesn't mean we must likewise buzz around and bite others to be on the same wavelength as them.
We should still try to give others the benefit of the doubt or second chances, understanding that anyone can eventually transform positively if Allah Wills, and Only Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala knows the final destination and reality of His servants.
📖 Anas ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: The Messenger Of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said to me: "O young man, if you are able every morning and evening to remove any rancor from your heart towards anyone, then do so."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2678
Grade: Hasan
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "Beware of suspicion, for suspicion is the most false of tales. Do not seek out faults, do not spy on each other, do not contend with each other, do not envy each other, do not hate each other, and do not turn away from each other.
Rather, be servants of Allah as brothers."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5719
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi
In another narration, the Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "Do not envy each other, do not outbid each other, do not hate each other, do not turn away from each other, and do not outsell each other. Rather, be servants of Allah as brothers. The Muslim is the brother of another Muslim. He does not wrong him, nor humiliate him, nor look down upon him. Righteousness is here." The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam pointed to his chest three times, and he said: "It is enough evil for a man to look down upon his Muslim brother. The entirety of the Muslim is sacred to another Muslim: his life, his wealth, and his honor."
Source: Sahih Muslim 2564
Grade: Sahih