✅ Some time ago a sister in Islam asked me on how I manage to stay patient with my husband. Alhamdulillah the noble quality of patience is a special gift that is given only by Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala to those whom He Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala knows have the capacity or willingness to use it (patience) for His sake. Not everyone's level of Sabr is the same. However the more you try to understand the wisdom of why some people behave as they do or if you make earnest effort to see the bright side of a situation, the more you can develop and embrace patience, a characteristic that is foreign or unbecoming to people who are narcissistic, selfish or arrogant.
Being married to my husband since Shawwaal in the year 2006 Alhamdulillah and becoming his first wife in around 2012, I'd like to share some tips on how you can also be patient as your husband's wife:
1• Remember that Allah the Almighty loves those sincere believers who remain patient for His sake during trials, while obeying Him, and avoiding what He Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala forbade.
2• Acknowledge the fact that your husband is a human being with several flaws just as you too have a number of imperfections. If you can't change a quality in him which some may find unpleasant or intolerable, train yourself, as his empathetic wife, to be more tolerant and look at his other qualities that are attractive and appealing, such as his cute sense of humor, fatherly personality, and enthusiasm to help people in general.
3• Be patient like you can patiently wait for the Adhaan of Salat Al-Maghreb to be called when you're fasting. Be patient like you can expect a seed to grow beautifully into a large tree, a stormy evening to be followed by clear blue skies the next day, and a caterpillar to fascinatingly transform into a colorful butterfly. Be patient like you're traveling in a dark tunnel towards an open passageway, knowing that even though your journey may be bumpy, tiring or uncomfortable,
Inn-sha-Allah you'll ultimately rest and enjoy the sweetness of victory once you reach your destination.
4• Your striving to stay patient with your other half doesn't mean you tolerate his negative traits or serious mistakes. Being patient for Allah's sake isn't settling for less than what you deserve nor does it signify you're weak. You simply won't allow shaytan to be victorious in disconnecting the blessed bond (i.e. marriage) that Allah the Almighty destined, and in order to be more deserving of Allah's Love, you put on your armor of Taqwa that enables you to make use of rewarding patience and grateful contentment. Patience with your Muslim spouse, concerning permissible matters, doesn't indicate weakness or cowardice at all. On the contrary, Sabr shows how strong a person is to not be overcome by emotions, unreasonable expectations and insignificant arguments.
5• Knowing the reality of how this world is undoubtedly temporary, you know that trials are brief examinations which are meant to examine your faith/Imaan, difficulties are sent to expiate sins and after every hardship follows ease, maybe not so soon all the time but eventually.
Part of deeply, faithfully and genuinely loving your husband for Allah's sake is to never give up on him easily, because you want to see him
Inn-sha-Allah with you in Jannah Paradise where you both can enjoy eternal bliss, free from excessive worldly responsibilities, distractions and worries.
๐ Abu Sa'eed Al-Khudri RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated that some people from the Ansaar asked the Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam and he gave them. Then they asked for charity again and he SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam gave them. Then they asked again and he SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam gave them until all he had was gone. The Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If I had anything, I would not withhold it. Whoever refrains from asking others, then Allah (The Almighty) will make him contented. Whoever would be independent, then Allah will make him independent. Whoever would be patient, then Allah will make him patient. There is no gift that is better and more comprehensive than patience."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 1400
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Bukhari
