๐ In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
๐ When I was around eighteen or nineteen years old, back in Saudi Arabia, I received a marriage proposal from one of my male 'childhood friends'. I quickly declined his request because he was about two years younger than me and I preferred marrying an older man with more life experiences. After declining several other marriage proposals, one of them from a guy who was employed in Madinah and another coming from the son of my parents' Pakistani friends, my late mother (Allah yarhamha. Ameen.) insisted that I at least marry my first cousin who was then studying as a medical student. Initially I refused, because I understood that a lot of doctors can get preoccupied with work, which prevents them from enjoying quality time with their families. Eventually I accepted the proposal after praying two Sunnah Rak'ahs of Salat Al-Istikhaarah and measuring the pros and cons of getting married in 2006 at age twenty.
Alhamdulillah through this marriage, I've learned to be very supportive of polygyny, more understanding towards individuals with certain disabilities (as my husband has an autistic brother), and Alhamdulillah I'm able to hopefully inspire wives whose husbands work abroad to remain faithful and steadfastly patient for Allah's sake. Last time I checked while browsing on Facebook, I found out that the 'childhood friend' whose marriage proposal I rejected is contentedly married with one of his cousins, just like I'm wed to my cousin, and Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala blessed them with a number of adorable kids.
After my mother and a good friend of hers gave birth in the same year 1988, in Ad-Dammam city, they agreed to have their kids engaged and promised they'd get them married in the future, as a way to maintain their close friendship. I remember seeing photos of my brother as a baby holding hands with another baby and, if I'm not mistaken, they had cute tiny engagement rings on. Several years later their wedding was cancelled even though my brother was all set for his groom's outfit. Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala destined that my brother get married to one of our cousins instead who's about three years older than him. Alhamdulillah they're both currently blessed with five cute children. The girl on the other hand whom we thought could've been his wife actually married a Saudi guy whom she met during their university years in Malaysia. Alhamdulillah they're blessed with one beautiful daughter together at the moment.
๐ธThe lesson I wish to share is that even if your plans to marry someone didn't work out, and no matter how many times you've tried proposing to some women only to receive a rejection, you shouldn't feel bad about yourself or wrongly assume that Allah doesn't love you. If being a particular woman's husband wasn't your Qadr/Destiny, your marriage with her can never take place despite being bribed with millions of cash.
If Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala didn't decree that you become somebody's soulmate, you'd always stay single in spite of meeting numerous matchmakers who guess you're compatible with so-and-so. However if Allah the Most Wise already planned that you get married to a specific person, on an assigned date, in a chosen destination, nothing and nobody can prevent Allah's Plans from occurring. So keep trusting Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala and ask Him, specially when praying Tahajjud, to grant you only what is right for your overall well-being.
It could take days, weeks, months or years... but whatever was meant to be yours, according to Allah's Plans, will ultimately come to you at the most perfect and ideal timing.
๐ Ibn Abbas RadhiAllahu 'anhuma narrated: I was riding behind the Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam when he said to me, "Young man, I will teach you some words. Be mindful of Allah and He will protect you. Be mindful of Allah and you will find Him before you. If you ask, ask from Allah. If you seek help, seek help from Allah. Know that if the nations gathered together to benefit you, they will not benefit you unless Allah has decreed it for you. And if the nations gathered together to harm you, they will not harm you unless Allah has decreed it for you. The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2516
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to At-Tirmidhi
๐ Note: Reminder to recite Surah Al-Kahf every Jumuah Friday and include the Muslim Ummah in your Du'as ๐ผ
