๐ Question: As an INTJ personality type, do you hold grudges?
๐ Answer: While there are a number of individuals whom I despise for Allah's sake, my resentment isn't due to emotional reasons. It's possible for me to continue loving some Muslims for Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aa, such as my spouse and relatives, even if they've done or said things in the past which many people may find "offensive". What causes me to be disinterested in building a friendship with some females is when they've clearly indicated they are untrustworthy, unreliable and too toxic to interact with that attempting to connect with them brings more disadvantages to my overall well-being than merits.
Three examples of acquaintances whom I had to unfriend unapologetically, without specifying their names:
1] Someone who proved that they can never be trusted by making the mistake of asking me to collect change for a certain amount of money. After searching around for some change, I realized that she already paid the delivery guy using some of her savings and the payment he received was a lot more than the actual price of items she ordered on our behalf. She could've waited until I arrived. What caused me to dislike her even more is the fact she's willing to purchase products online without asking for any receipt.
2] An older female who frequently tells stories about random moments she enjoys with her husband, as if indirectly she's emphasizing that her spouse is better than mine, when I'm not desperate to compete with her (or anybody else concerning marriage) in the first place. I loathe how she's incapable of teaching me anything about Islam yet when it comes to describing numerous times how fabulous her husband is, she acts all pretentiously enthusiastic and talkative. Looking forward to learning something valuable and gaining advice from somebody in their 40s only for them to act more immature than kindergartners flaunting their colorful scribbles isn't worth tolerating.
3] An individual whose name I've been acquainted with for more than five years. Alhamdulillah after giving her countless chances to reform, I decided to regard her as another stranger when she'd persist in doing the same mistakes which I warned her against. No decent individual would want to be besties with troublesome clowns that take pleasure in disturbing the peace and tossing tomatoes at them.
Although I've forgiven all of those who have intentionally and unknowingly disappointed me before, specially before the noble month Ramadan returns, I refuse to indulge in gossiping about them, doing what I can to spoil their public image and plotting ways to get even. I'll still answer their salaams, meet them with a polite smile and provide assistance if necessary, without eagerness to become "close friends", particularly after discovering that they're mostly a bad influence.
If you wish to be closer to Allah the Almighty and join those believers who make it to Jannah Paradise without any penalty, it is illogical to waste your energy and resources on forming connections with anybody who's not authentic, supportive and trustworthy.
~•~
๐ Abu Umamah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever loves for the sake of Allah, hates for the sake of Allah, gives for the sake of Allah, and withholds for the sake of Allah has perfected the faith (Imaan)."
Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4681
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani
๐ Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A man is upon the religion of his close friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2378
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Nawawi
๐ Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah’s noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The believer is not stung twice from the same hole."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5782
Sahih Muslim 2998
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim
https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/05/poem-three-reasons-why-we-cannot-click.html
https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/02/tips-ways-to-tell-if-your-grudge-is-due.html
https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/09/note-five-reasons-why-we-cant-vibe-well.html
https://personalitygrowth.com/heres-how-long-you-hold-a-grudge-according-to-your-personality-type/
https://personalitygrowth.com/how-you-handle-feelings-of-resentment-based-on-your-personality-type/
