๐ In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
๐ Jealousy is a notoriously ugly trait which can make an insecure person lack inner peace so they keep trying to plot ways to disappoint you and spoil your good moods because they despise witnessing how you're visibly better than them in so many ways. One way that envious individuals attempt to destroy you emotionally, to relieve themselves of their own misery and insecurities, besides gossiping about you and spreading false rumors, is by excluding you on purpose whenever they find the opportunity to do so.
So if an envious colleague, neighbor, cousin or acquaintance, has an upcoming event like a wedding or graduation celebration, they would do their utmost to ensure that you received some news of that gathering while deliberately refraining from inviting you - just to feel thrilled knowing they did something unpleasant which they hope made you unhappy. From the nasty acts or typical tactics of intensely insecure and emotionally manipulative clowns regarding not inviting you is letting you know somehow of their future event only to make sure you don't attend it. Then their excuse would be something like:
• "You didn't receive an invitation? But I sent invitation cards to all the faculty! Maybe it didn't reach you? Perhaps someone took it?"
• "I did send you an invitation! Maybe it's in your message requests. Or do you reckon somebody deleted it when they were borrowing your cellphone?"
• "I told so-and-so to invite you but I guess they forgot. Oh well."
• "I sent a general invitation on 'My Day'. How come you didn't notice?"
• "I tried calling you but you never answered. I couldn't send a direct message because I didn't have enough load for texting." Etc.
If they were serious about inviting you, they would've sent you an email if they knew your email address AND contact you directly through as many messaging applications as they can think of including Facebook messenger application, Skype and WhatsApp etc. And if they have the financial means to afford elegant or creatively designed invitation cards (like I had one Alhamdulillah for my wedding), they would've made sure that you're one of the recipients. And if they're smart enough, they wouldn't simply leave the invitation card at your doorstep so some nosy person, animal or jinn could steal or misplace it, they would notify you about it DIRECTLY through sending a message (in addition to enthusiastically commenting on your timeline or some of the posts of your social media accounts requesting you to check your inbox for their direct messages etc.). They would do whatever they can to guarantee that you receive, read and accept their invitation, instead of acting as if they care while in actuality they don't, because their extreme sadness from seeing you being so much better than them in so many ways compelled them to act like obnoxious bullies just so they can feel a bit better.
✅ What to do Inn-sha-Allah when those types of jealous or insecure individuals purposely exclude you from a gathering:
1• Patiently, humbly yet courageously, and confidently accept Allah's Qadr/Destiny. Wisely understand that going to such event was really never meant for you.
Allah the Almighty knows you much more than you think you know yourself. If there was anything truly beneficial, valuable and rewarding to earn from attending such event, Allah the Most Wise would have easily decreed that you'd be one of the attendees even if you never intended to go or join in the first place or if you planned on declining their invitation.
2• Either you congratulate that person for whatever halal/lawful thing they achieved, out of courtesy and to show them you're not affected at all by their idiotic yet forgivable actions OR you assertively ignore mentioning that event so it is as though it never even happened. If you choose the second option, make sure you never stalk their social media accounts nor ask mutual acquaintances questions related to such event - you gladly don't want anything to do with it.
3• From then on include them in a mental or imaginary list of individuals to never trust and deal with
Inn-sha-Allah in the future. An ideal moment may
Inn-sha-Allah arrive at the best timing when you have the chance to skip their name or forget about them when deciding who to bring along or invite. Still stop fretting over their bad character and/or poor decisions, and instead focus on what you can do to become closer to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala and farther away from fitna. Our enemy shaytan loves it when Muslims dispute and divide for silly reasons - be from those minority or special few elite that choose not to be saddened by anything petty, insignificant and pathetic.
An event you couldn't attend isn't worth a millisecond of worrying if going there can't enhance your connection with Allah the All-Knowing in more than one way and attending such gathering won't inspire you to become a more productive Muslim. Get used to saying "QaddarAllahu wa maa shaa-a fa'al" (Allah the Almighty decreed what He Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala willed to decree) and remind yourself too of the hundreds of human beings and jinns worldwide and around your proximity who similarly didn't show up at such event, which Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala did not destine you'd attend as another temporary test to examine the strength of your faith Imaan and for the betterment of your soul.
⚠️ Note: This is regarding individuals who intentionally exclude you because they envy you, not because they had a very limited list of guests to invite, or they assumed you'd be busy again after you rejected their invitations in the past more than twice, or just admit it (don't act narcissistic and entitled), admit the fact you're not close friends and they wanted to invite only those whom they feel comfortable around since they lack sufficient confidence to tolerate awkward situations.
~•~
๐ Abu Nu’aym reported: Fudayl ibn ‘Iyad, may Allah have mercy on him, said, “If you mix with people, mix with those who have good character; it only invites to good. Do not mix with those who have bad character, for it only invites to evil.”
Source: Ḥilyat Al-Awliyā’ 11728
๐ Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “I have left you with two matters which will never lead you astray, as long as you hold to them: the Book of Allah (The Qur'an) and the Sunnah of his Prophet (SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam).”
Source: Al-Muwaṭṭa’ 1661
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Ibn Abdul Barr
๐ Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “The strong believer is more beloved to Allah (The Almighty) than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala), and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.’ Rather say: "Allah has decreed what He wills.”. (QaddarAllahu wa maa shaa-a fa'al) Verily, the phrase ‘if only’ opens the way for the work of shaytan.“
Source: Sahih Muslim 2664
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim
