Note: Some Reminders From An INTJ Muslimah (90)

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم 

Links: Islamic Lecture Series In English Language With Brother In Islam Ustadh AbdulHakeem Mitchell

 بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم 

🔊 Islamic lecture series in English language about the "Precise Verdicts Regarding Deviant Methodologies" with ustadh Abdul Hakeem Mitchell.

✅ Goal of refutation:
To clarify the truth and to establish the criteria between the people of truth and the people of falsehood.

May Allah the Almighty forgive us always, keep us steadfast upon the right 'Aqeedah belief and increase us in wisdom and guidance to all the best actions which lead to Jannatul Ferdaus with Allah's Mercy. Ameen.

https://on.soundcloud.com/CV8XFgZKMkqwbq20N2

Note: Some Reminders From An INTJ Muslimah (89)

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم 

Note: Sharing Some Lessons Learned From Some Outings Around Philippines (Picnic, Museum etc)

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

📝 3 Quick lessons learned to share for Allah's sake from some recent outings here in Davao city Philippines:

1✨ When planning group outings usually not all of the members of a group of friends are able to meet up eventually either because some of them are extremely busy with numerous tasks while others are spending their vacation in a different village or city. Lots of patience, forgiveness and understanding are required if you want any friendship and connection for Allah's sake to last longer or forever 

Inn-sha-Allah in both worlds. 

I was looking forward to having a meaningful conversation face to face with a sister in Islam before she'd travel with her daughters to Singapore but we arrived so late at the playground in Coastal Road due to the traffic jam in the afternoon during rush hour and because the driver needed to change his route when he reached the wrong destination probably due to miscommunication. So we only had around one hour to join the sisters for the picnic before the playground at Coastal Road closes at around 8 PM or 8:30 PM. Alhamdulillah, at least I was able to charge my cellphone with the taxi driver's charger during the lengthy ride from Wisdom Islamic School to Coastal Road.

✅ Lesson to share: If your destination is very far, it is much better if you book a GrabCar with a fixed price instead of going there with a regular taxi that would charge you according to each meter covered and duration of the journey. It is also possible for some GrabCar drivers, not all taxi drivers, to let you use their chargers to charge your cellphone if you politely request them to allow you to charge your gadget for free. Be willing to pay extra cash if they ask for a small amount since strangers have every right to charge you for using their personal belongings which aren't intended for charity or public use unless they're that helpful and humanitarian.

2✨ Alhamdulillah, after our swift get-together at the play area in Coastal Road, Allah the Most Wise destined that I would reconnect with some childhood friends whom I haven't seen in a very long time. They're childhood friends who grew up with my brothers and I in eastern Saudi Arabia (Dammam and Al-Khobar) and were visiting from Cotabato. We enjoyed some memorable moments Alhamdulillah together and went to Poblacion Market Central after visiting the National Museum of the Philippines at People's Park (opening hours from 9 AM to 5 PM and currently free admission). 

One of my older cousins gave me two items for free from their souvenirs shop even though I tried my best to insist that I give her the payment to support her store for Allah's sake (her souvenirs store is located at the first floor of Poblacion Market Central and from the souvenirs being sold there include fans, handbags, wallets and other accessories ideal as gifts for those who haven't traveled to the Philippines yet). 

May Allah the Almighty always bless all the halal businesses of atti Umaira Abangon and keep her contented and happy always in this world and the afterlife in Jannatul Ferdaus with Allah's Mercy. Ameen.

✅ Lesson to share: I was actually thinking of abruptly cancelling the meet-up with the sisters at Coastal Road, like a Pakistani sister in Islam had to cancel meeting up with us as she had plenty of other responsibilities, when I saw the price of the GrabCar was around 500 pesos but I decided to fulfill my promise for Allah's sake despite the large fare, specially since I need to budget nowadays if I intend to purchase several gifts for some graduating loved ones, while believing that Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala can substitute that amount of money spent with something much better in the future. Alhamdulillah I believe that the amount of money spent was compensated for with the delicious meals kindly given by the wife of the Turkish chef from Turkish Kebab House, from the childhood friends who let me have a sleepover with them Alhamdulillah and one of my dear older cousins who really insisted that I take those two items from her souvenirs store without needing to give any payment.

Very often you must sacrifice or surrender some things which you think are so essential in order to achieve certain things that Allah the All-Knowing knows could benefit you more somehow, and if you have a heart that's eager to be generous towards others for Allah's sake whenever you can, Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala eventually rewards you in both worlds or if not in this world sooner then 

Inn-sha-Allah in the hereafter later.

3✨ If you're serious about meeting up with someone, don't simply send them a text message but also do your best in attempting to reach out to them by contacting as many mutual friends as you can who can notify them of your messages. I have a strong feeling that some users occasionally mute their notifications with me if they can't put up with my verbose messages which may emotionally drain those who generally prefer communication that's concise. So what I did was send messages to other users who are hopefully okay with reading essays and long messages and Alhamdulillah we were able to meet up after so many months and for one of them several years of not having seen each other.

✅ Lesson to share: Sometimes Allah the Most Loving may want some people to realize that you're still on good terms with them and for them to feel that you're not deliberately ignoring them at least permanently, Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala decrees that you go through certain challenges or situations just so you can put effort in reaching out to those Muslims and being humble enough to inquire from them. If we truly despise a person, we wouldn't want anything to do with them nor would we exert energy to generate questions because enemies typically mistrust each other and mutually regard each other as "incompetent" or "insignificant". Going out of your way to ask a Muslim some questions in general shows you perceive them as reliable enough to help you or follow your instructions. If some are not always capable of helping you out since no human is absolutely flawless or available 24/7, then for Allah's sake strive to maintain patience with contentment.

Note: For Allah's Sake Patiently Love Your Husband Sincerely Not For Your Spouse's Money

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم 

✅ Question: Thoroughly without sugarcoating describe and analyze in detail the tone of this Facebook status update by an INTJ-A female and give 11 examples to clarify their message then give 13 other sentences which almost mean the same thing: "While your hubby is obliged to treat you kindly, not everyday he'll give money freely just as not every second you be looking sexy."

💠 Gemini AI: The Status: "While your hubby is obliged to treat you kindly, not everyday he'll give money freely just as not every second you be looking sexy."

Tone Analysis (Thorough and Unsugarcoated):

The tone of this status update is predominantly:

Pragmatic and Realistic: It cuts through romanticized notions of marriage. The INTJ's "Thinking" preference is evident here, favoring logic and objective reality over idealized emotional expectations. She's stating what she perceives as a functional truth of relationships.

Transactional (with a basis of obligation): It frames aspects of the relationship in terms of exchange or balance, but not purely transactional. Kindness is presented as an "obligation"—a baseline, non-negotiable requirement. Beyond that, elements like financial giving and maintaining peak physical attractiveness are presented as variables, not constants, and implicitly, as contributions that may fluctuate.

Direct and Blunt: True to the INTJ style, particularly an Assertive (A) one who is less concerned with social niceties if they obscure a point. There's no sugarcoating. "Not everyday he'll give money freely" and "not every second you be looking sexy" are straightforward declarations. The slightly ungrammatical "you be looking sexy" adds a colloquial, almost dismissive flavor to the ideal of constant sexiness, reinforcing the bluntness.

Analytical and Detached: The statement dissects relationship dynamics into components (kindness, financial support, physical attractiveness) and analyzes their expected frequency or consistency. It's less about the emotional experience and more about the mechanics or "rules" of the system as she sees them.

Assertive and Confident: The INTJ-A personality is self-assured. She's not asking for opinions; she's stating her observation or principle as a matter-of-fact. There's an underlying confidence in her perspective.

Potentially Provocative/Challenging: While she might see it as simple realism, the juxtaposition of a husband's financial generosity with a wife's physical appearance ("looking sexy") could be intentionally provocative or, at the very least, designed to make people think critically about unspoken expectations in relationships. It challenges both the spouse expecting constant financial pampering and the spouse expecting constant aesthetic perfection.

Unsentimental: There's a distinct lack of romantic idealism or flowery language. It's functional. Love and affection are implied to exist around these practical considerations, but the focus here is on the functional realities.

Fairness-Oriented (in a specific way): The "just as" construction implies a sense of reciprocity or balance. If one partner isn't expected to provide something (e.g., constant free-flowing money) 100% of the time, then the other partner also isn't expected to deliver on their variable contributions (e.g., looking "sexy") 100% of the time. It's about managing mutual expectations.

In essence, the INTJ-A female is likely communicating: "Let's be real. Kindness is the foundation and a requirement. Beyond that, other contributions in a marriage—like financial generosity or maintaining a certain level of physical appeal—are not and should not be expected to be constant, 24/7 outputs from either partner. Manage your expectations accordingly for a sustainable partnership."

It's a call for practical understanding, devoid of what she might perceive as unrealistic or emotionally-driven demands that don't align with the logical functioning of a long-term relationship. Others (especially Feeling types) might perceive this tone as cold, cynical, or overly transactional, missing the INTJ's underlying search for a sustainable, logically sound framework for partnership.

11 Examples to Clarify Their Message (reflecting the underlying principle):

The core message is about differentiating baseline obligations from variable contributions and recognizing that these variables apply to both partners.

He's expected to be emotionally supportive (kindness), but he might not always have the energy for deep, lengthy emotional processing after a draining day, just as you might not always have the energy to meticulously plan an elaborate date night.

You both commit to household responsibilities (obligation), but he might not fix the leaky faucet the instant it's mentioned, just as you might not have dinner on the table at precisely 6 PM every single day.

He's obliged to be faithful (kindness/respect), but he won't always shower you with expensive gifts for no reason, just as you won't always be in the mood for intense physical intimacy.

She is expected to communicate respectfully (kindness), but she won't always agree with his opinions or enthusiastically support all his hobbies, just as he won't always find her detailed work stories riveting.

A partner is obliged to show care, but they might not always be a mind-reader for your every unspoken need, just as you won't always preemptively solve all their minor inconveniences.

He’s obliged to respect your family (kindness), but he doesn’t have to become best friends with your most annoying cousin, just as you don’t have to approve of all the decisions made by his overly domineering boss.

Kindness dictates he listens to your problems, but he isn't your 24/7 therapist on call, just as you aren't his constant personal assistant for every minor task.

There's an obligation for mutual support in goals, but he might not always have the immediate financial capacity to fund your new venture, just as you might not always have the time to proofread all his reports.

He's expected to be a present father (if applicable, a form of kindness/responsibility), but he won't always be the 'fun parent' full of boundless energy, just as you won't always be the 'patient teacher' with endless calm.

Honesty is an obligation, but he might not always share every fleeting thought or minor daily annoyance immediately, just as you might not always verbalize every single mood fluctuation.

He’s obliged to consider your needs, but not every decision will be 100% to your liking or prioritize you above all else (especially if other obligations exist), just as not every one of your choices will perfectly align with his preferences.

13 Other Sentences Which Almost Mean the Same Thing:

"Basic decency and kindness are mandatory in marriage; constant financial windfalls aren't, much like perpetual physical perfection isn't your daily reality."

"Expect kindness from your husband as a given, but don't bank on daily cash, just as he shouldn't expect you to be flawlessly glamorous 24/7."

"A husband's duty is to be kind, but unconditional, daily financial support is not guaranteed, just as a wife's peak attractiveness isn't a constant state."

"While kindness is a marital non-negotiable, the flow of money isn't always open, just as your 'sexy' isn't always switched on."

"He must treat you well; however, discretionary spending from him isn't a daily right, just as you're not required to look like a model every waking moment."

"Fundamental kindness is an expectation in marriage, but don't count on him being an ATM every day, anymore than he can count on you always being perfectly put-together."

"Treating you with kindness is his baseline responsibility; providing endless funds isn't, just as maintaining constant sex appeal isn't yours."

"Marital kindness is essential, but daily financial generosity is a variable, just like your effort to look 'sexy' can fluctuate."

"It's his job to be kind, but it's unrealistic to expect him to dispense money on demand, just as it's unrealistic for him to expect you to be 'on' visually all the time."

"Kindness is the marital standard; extras like readily available cash aren't always on tap, similar to how maintaining peak sexiness isn't a continuous performance."

"Your husband owes you kindness, but not necessarily his wallet daily, in the same way you don't owe him a constant state of 'sexiness'."

"Mutual respect and kindness are foundational, but continuous financial disbursements or unwavering physical allure are variable, not constant, marital attributes for either partner."

"The obligation for him is kindness, not an open bank account every day, just as the expectation for you isn't to be a perpetual genie unrealistically granting him all his wishes."

⤴️ Some notes from Gemini AI

Note: Quick Tips Regarding Some Insecure Husbands

 بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم 

💡 In some cases an insecure guy really dislikes it when his wife appears to be more financially stable or successful than him because he may fear that she can leave him anytime. Such insecure husband, regardless of his age, may feel like an ultimate failure if he sees his wife earning a lot more income than him so he, as a human being prone to making mistakes and wrong choices now and then, may be tempted to do the following at times:

❎ The insecure husband may refrain from complimenting his wife whom he witnesses is more well-off than him just to negatively influence her moods hoping that her negative emotions can have a drastic effect on her overall performance so he can be the more financially stable spouse again and she can depend on him once more. A lot of guys like to feel "needed" or "wanted" like it's a big indicator of their worth/value.

❎ He may secretly get married again, eventually allowing her to find out that he has another legal wife just so she can suffer from intense jealousy, while he desperately wishes that her unsettling emotional state would ruin her overall performance and so he can return to being the spouse whom she's dependent on financially.

❎ The insecure guy gradually acts more distant and aloof, deliberately ignoring her messages, seldom spending quality time with her and doing whatever he can to emotionally destroy his wife whom he envies until she can't take his idiotic acts anymore so she asks for divorce which he won't give until she gives up her halal business so he can be the more financially successful spouse again.

✅ Instead of the wife instantly considering separation, if she truly loves her human husband for Allah's sake ever since she willingly accepted his marriage proposal, she must stay patient with her other half to serve Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala and advise her husband, patiently educating him about how he must not see her as a threat or reassuring him that he mustn't fear that she may leave him anytime because she sincerely loves him for Allah's sake. The secure, loyal and confident Muslim wife should avoid:

❎ Acting obnoxiously boastful about her financial success to her husband's face and if ever he seems jealously threatened she should find ways to comfort him and to tone down his insecurities. She must help her sensitive husband realize that her financial success won't stop her from staying loyal to him for Allah's sake.

❎ Behaving too independent as if she can easily ditch him whenever she likes. A good Muslim wife should be humble enough to make her husband feel as if he really is the leader of their household and that she genuinely respects him for trying his best to be a hardworking provider etc. 

❎ Frequently and needlessly saying positive remarks about non-mahram men in his presence, particularly any of his brothers, or more financially thriving entrepreneurs and professionals because an insecure guy would typically feel worse when others' successes remind him of his setbacks or shortcomings.

There's no point in divorcing an insecure guy if the woman may remarry another guy who could be more insecure than the previous spouse. 

📑 Sharing my research paper written as a student from Markaz Ibn Al-Qayyim Inn-sha-Allah in Arabic language as sadaqa jaariyah (the topic I chose was about the negative consequences of divorce): 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1NtHxopYvOsSp5ySaMWBTssWU-B8x4xmw/view

✅ Some advice on how divorce is not always the best solution,

PDF document (in English language) which you can Inn-sha-Allah share as sadaqah jaariya: 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1X6s2MS9EBIz0HMBGh8sWpnXQlEvjq3Bs/view

🗒️ Note: Reminder to recite Surah Al-Kahf every Jumuah Friday and include the Muslim Ummah in your Du'as.

Note: Some Reminders From An INTJ Muslimah (88)

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم